Below left, July 2005 before WLS.
Below right, in hospital after WLS, October 2005.


These are the only pictures that I have with me with my walker. These were taken two weeks AFTER surgery at my surgeon's office. I weigh 449 pounds here.

Below right, is a picture of me wearing this same skirt 2 years later.


Me with my "Before" 6X slacks and homemade skirt. Picture was taken in October 2007 after a weight loss of 308 pounds - 2 Yrs after WLS.

4-21-08 – Life has changed so much! I am now a mother-in-law to an absolutely wonderful girl! It is as though she has always been a part of our family, and she makes our son a wonderful helpmate! I am enjoying driving bus in the morning and afternoon and doing field trips and athletic runs! My husband goes on some with me, which makes it more fun!

There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for my deliverance from gluttony and giving me the power of choice, IF I use it! I am so glad that I never thought that WLS was THE answer, because it isn’t…the Lord is! I remember thinking that being free was not having any battles. I should have realized that that is NOT how God usually works. He wants us to use the things that he teaches us to trample over and have victory over the battles in our lives. He teaches us how to war and it blesses Him when He sees us "get it". 

I have heard for years, the phrase "food addict", and thought that that was just a "worldly" term that did not relate to me…a Christian. Can a Christian battle against alcoholism…smoking…etc? I have known for years that almost every time the Bible talks about a drunkard it also mentions a glutton in the same verse! For years I wanted to be delivered from gluttony, to never have to battle it in my mind ever again. I now realize how much stronger God has made me by having me "exercise" the power of choice that He has given me…just like each time I lift my weights I get stronger and feel more in control. What was it that sin took from Adam and Eve in the garden (other than the presence of God)? It was the power of choice. They were now in bondage to the wrong choice that they made which brought death/corruption.

Gal 6:7-9 - Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. (NKJ)

I hear so often the comment that it was so easy right after WLS and that they wish that things would not have changed. They wonder why it was so easy then and long to go back to that time. I know what they are meaning, but isn’t it really because we are sowing self-control and so we reap health and weight loss? Once we start little by little "sowing to the flesh" then we reap destruction/confusion/weight gain, and the battle starts all over again. I’ve been there! We’re fooling ourselves if we think that we can go back to our old ways…the weight WILL come back on us if we do! God, please help me everyday to choose to live the things that You’ve taught me!

We’ve been told from the beginning, WLS is only a "tool", and I believe that it is a tool that God has given us. He may choose to give someone else a different "tool" for them to use to trample over the areas in our lives that cause us to stumble. We all have a weak area or areas in our lives that the enemy of our souls (Satan) will target! We must place a wall around that area to protect it. We must stay alert and remember that we are in warfare at all times and not let our guard down! The first step is being willing to receive instruction from the Lord, no matter what that instruction might be!

Addict: to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively, to cause addiction to a substance.

Addiction: the quality or state of being addicted; compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance; persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.

Compel: to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly; to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure

Obsession: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often-unreasonable idea or feeling; compelling motivation.

Preoccupied: extreme or excessive concern with something

I don’t know about you, but this describes what my life with food has been. Why would we want to destroy ourselves? Why do we participate in destructive behavior? Like eating when not hungry, eating until sick, using food other than to nourish our bodies. Do we want to punish ourselves? Do we feel that we are not worthy of success? No matter what lies we believe, it is the flesh wanting to destroy us. It is us walking in the flesh and not in the Spirit.

Gal 5:16-17 - I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. (NKJ)

This is not easy and we can only do it with God’s help! I have to cry out to Him for strength and guidance every day and even then there are days that I fail! But I thank God for His grace and mercy and a new day! I need His help everyday!

I met with several high school classmates the other day and of course we started talking about weight gain/loss. One, who has always been slender, a varsity cheerleader and very popular all through school and never appeared to ever have to even think about her weight, was asked if she ever has been on a "diet". Her response stuck with me. She said, "Don’t we always have to ‘diet’… I gain ten pounds and have to buckle back down and loose it." It must be very rare to find someone who does not have to think at all about his or her weight and eating healthy. 

I certainly hope that this does not sound as though I think that I "have it all together", not by a long shot! I have gained up to 20 pounds, only to have to loose it again! If a person can put back on 20 pounds, after WLS, then what’s to say that 300 can not be put back on?! THAT’s scary! I am only sharing things that I am learning along the way on this journey. If it can be a blessing to someone else, then Praise God, if not, it is still therapy for me to journal this all down.

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11-12-07 – I went to both support group meetings last month: one is for all to attend, no matter if they are thinking about having WLS or if they are many years post-op: the other is for those at least one year post-op. At the latter meeting I shared how I think it is important to weigh and measure our food. I hear people say that they wish they could have things back like they were the first year, yet it seems that we aren’t willing to do the things that we did then. I remember getting the feeling from people at these meetings and even here on O.H. that if you are still weighing and measuring your food you’re still a newby…you just haven’t "graduated" yet…that you just aren’t proficient with the new lifestyle if you are still having to do this. Well, a long while ago, I started paying attention to those who have been successful and are many years out and discovered that they still held themselves accountable by disciplining themselves by weighing and measuring their food. This is the main reason that I still do it, and I hope that I always will! A lot of the times, we lie to ourselves about the amount of food that we are eating when we do not weigh or measure. Then we wonder why we aren’t loosing or why we are even gaining! Like I shared in my 3-23-07-profile entry, this is a lot like managing our finances. We don’t think it a burden or unnecessary to document each check and its amount in our checkbook. In fact, we would look at it as being very irresponsible to not take the time to do this so that we are aware of how much we have yet to spend, etc. How much more, when we have battled gluttony all our lives, should we keep ourselves accountable by doing likewise with our dietary habits? Even after writing all this, I still have to interject here that, I believe, without the Lord, I would not be experiencing the victory over gluttony that I am, even with documenting my food, etc. I tried doing that with Weight Watchers, etc. I truly believe that Jesus is the ONLY way that we can truly be set free….on the inside, where the battle really is anyway, then He will allow the victory to "show" on the outside! Thank You, Lord Jesus!

I remember reading this Scripture, I Corinthians 10:13, and always feeling like such a failure. Now I feel like I am living it. PTL! I feel like the Lord is giving me the power of CHOICE to be able to trample over temptations in my life and that He has provided the "way of escape" for me! Thank You, Jesus! I know that if it were not for Him, I would still be in such horrible bondage, dreading facing another day. I can not praise Him enough for His deliverance!

I’m 47 and feel like I already know what it was like to be 90! When friends say things like, "Well, we have to realize that we’re getting old, and that we just can’t do things like we used to" , I find myself rejecting that mindset. If I can feel 90 at 45, then why can’t I feel like 25 at 47?! Amen & Hallelujah! I think of the following scripture whenever I think of how wonderful I feel: Haggai 2:9 - The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts. ( (KJV)

I look at pictures of myself at 450+ pounds, to remember just how far God has brought me. When I look at them, I can remember the feel of everything: not being able to move, breathe, care for myself, drive, walk… I don’t ever want to forget! It really blesses my heart when people tell me that I look like an entirely different person now. Every time I hear that, I think of the Scripture that the Lord had promised me…that I would be turned into another person! - 1 Sammual 10:6-7 - And the Spirit of the LORD will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man. And let it be, when these signs are come unto thee, that thou do as occasion serve thee; for God is with thee. He gave that to me clear back in July of 1994. I had to trust and believe that He would bring deliverance in His way and in His time. Was it easy? NO WAY! I thank Him for His patience and mercy on me!

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11-18-07 – I now weigh 154 pounds! I remember when the dieticians & Dr. Jones office told me that I was probably at my final weight back at 192!!! That was this past February. I’m sure glad that God had other plans and that I didn’t stay at that weight! Now they’re telling me that 145 should be my goal. That is why I thank God that He is ultimately in control. It’s easy for them to say that now when I am so close to it. 150 had been my original goal, and I remember thinking how much of a dream it will be to actually get there. Thank God, that is only four pounds away! PTL! That reminds me of yet another Scripture: Psalm 126:1-6 - When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them. The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. Turn again our captivity, O LORD, as the streams in the south. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. - God has been so Faithful and His Word is ALWAYS True! If He says it, then it will be!

You know something that I wonder…I wonder if I would actually be back up into the 200’s if I would have believed them and thought that 192 was the lowest that I could go? What I wonder is this: Could a reason that many have trouble staying at "goal" be that they were never really satisfied with what that "goal" weight was in the first place? I definitely was not satisfied at 192 pounds, and if I would have thought that that was where this all was going to leave me, I wonder if I would have just not have cared enough and eventually started gaining again? I mean, it seems like the lower I get…closer to 150, it gives me even more motivation and incentive to continue living healthy, etc. It seems that the more I feel good about myself then the more I want to do what is needed to continue living a disciplined life style. Does this make sense or am I just rambling?! I hope that I don’t ever sound like I think "I have arrived" and know it all! Heaven forbid!!! I am still learning and need your prayers! I just want to learn everything that I need to and if anything that I learn can help others and/or make it easier for them, then I want to share those things.

I have been using my mini-stepper each day. I’m now able to use it for 10 minutes at a time! This is amazing to me, because it was so hard to use at first, now I am blessed with being able to do 10 minutes at a time. I usually try to use it 2-3 times each day, so I am getting in 20 – 30 minutes of exercise. I use my arm weights for the first five minutes each time, so that my upper body is getting a work out too.

I continue to document everything that I eat on fitday.com. I do this ahead of time so that I have my day planned out. I pray that God will help me to continue to be disciplined like this, so that I will always hold myself accountable in this way. Lord, help me to be the person that you have created for me to be, so that YOU will receive Glory! In Jesus Name, Amen!

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10-3-07 – I remember reading and being told that I would probably never be able to be "thin" because of starting out at such a high weight. I remember asking my surgeon if it was possible for me to get down to 150 pounds. She asked me if that is what I wanted and I said, "yes". She said, "Then, yes, it is possible"! I later told her that I had heard about people getting to a certain weight and not being able to loose anymore, and if I should be prepared to not be able to get to my goal. She said, "No, that all a person has to do to loose weight is to make sure that they are taking in LESS calories than they are burning up…and they WILL loose weight!" She is right! I shared the following in my 6-8-07 profile entry: I have read, and been told, that a person starting out at such an extremely high weight should realize that they can not get "thin" and should not set too low of a weight goal for themselves or else they will be disappointed. I wonder if the reason that they think this is because when the weight takes a "conscience effort" to loose, people give up and think that THAT weight is all the lower that they can get to? What I mean is that it seemed like the first 250 pounds melted off as I lived according to how I had been instructed, but it seems like these last 50 have come off by continuing to live and apply the new life style that I had been in "training" for while the other 250 came off. Does that make sense! It now takes applying what I have learned, and living it, no matter what the scale says…good or bad. It seems that when I got down to around 230 pounds, the weight wanted to stop. I thank God for remembering what Dr. Jones had told me So, I want to encourage any of you that are thinking that you can not loose any more weight…you might need to make some adjustments to your calorie intake, etc., but I encourage you to not give up and grow weary. I am believing with you that you CAN reach your goal…your heart’s desire! I know that I really will get to 150 pounds; I just have to continue to have faith in God and know that ALL things ARE possible in Him!!! Glory to His Name! He has far exceeded all that I had ever dreamed! Thank You, Lord Jesus!

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10-29-07 – Two weeks ago, I went for my two-year check up at St. Vincent’s in Carmel with Dr. Jones & the dietician. The dietician said that I had had the most weight loss that she had even seen from a woman. I was shocked! Dr. Jones said that all my blood work was great. She told me that I "have had some of the most dramatic results that she has ever seen". She commented on the skin on my neck and face not sagging much in comparison to the amount of weight lost. I had to give God Glory for that! She asked me if I would consider speaking at some seminars; I told her that I would love to! I asked what my goal weight should be and they said 145. I’m okay with that, ‘cause 150 pounds is actually one pound over what my BMI weight range should be. It’s 118 – 149 pounds. One thing that I have learned lately is NOT to tell people that I still have weight to loose…they have a fit and start telling me how there won’t be anything left, etc. They tell me that I "can’t be going by what the scale says" and that "the scale doesn’t mean anything". Well, it sure did when it read 465 pounds! The scale has meant a lot all along the way; I have used it for accountability and to see victories for the last 300 pounds! They don’t understand that I haven’t lost 300+ pounds to only get 10-15 pounds from goal to just say, "Oh well, this is good enough!" So, when I am now asked if I am "where I want to be", I now say, "Yeah, just about" or "Yeah, pretty close". That usually satisfies them.

BMI on October 17, 2007: 26.1 (down from 76.9...-50.8 points)
WEIGHT on October 17, 2007: 157 pounds (-308 pounds)
MEASUREMENTS on October 17, 2007:
Neck – 13 1/4" (loss of 5 3/4"; Before WLS: 19")
Wrists – 6 1/2" ea. (loss of 2 1/2"; Before WLS: 9")
Upper Arms – 14 1/2 " ea. (loss of 8 1/2"; Before WLS: 23")
Upper Chest - 37" (loss of 19"; Before WLS: 56")
Chest – 36 1/4" (loss of 24 3/4"; Before WLS: 61")
Waist – 32" (loss of 25"; Before WLS: 57")
Abdomen – 39" (loss of 27"; Before WLS: 66")
Hips – 39 3/4" (loss of 30"; Before WLS: 71")
Thighs – 22" ea. (loss of 17"; Before WLS: 39")
Calves - 16" (loss of 9"; Before WLS: 25")
Ankles - 11" (loss of 6 ½"; Before WLS: 17 1/2")
TOTAL INCHES LOST SINCE WLS TO DATE = 211 ½ inches = OVER 17 feet!!! PTL!

Jeans – Size 6 jeans (down from 6X pants but usually wore homemade skirts)
Shirt – Medium/Small (down from women’s 6X & 7X & Men’s 7X)
Belt- Medium/Small
Ring Size – 7 (down from size 11, -4 ring sizes)
Shoes – 8 ½ (down from men’s size 10 slippers – was unable to wear shoes!)

What I find amazing when taking my measurements is the comparison to where I began. For instance, my arms were BIGGER than what my thighs are now! No wonder I could hardly move my arms and my shoulders were being pulled out of socket! EACH of my thighs were as big as what my hips are now! That would have been like walking with a torso on each leg! No wonder I couldn’t put my legs together or hardly walk!!! Each of my ankles were BIGGER than what my upper arms are now! And I am in shock that I have been blessed with loosing 50.8 BMI points! Thank You, Jesus, for deliverance!

I have really been praying as to whether or not I should have P.S. (plastic surgery) to remove the excess skin, etc. People have made so many comments thinking that I surely have already had some done; they are shocked when I tell them that I have had none. They don’t see me without clothing or feel the itch, tearing or pain of the skin twisting and pinching. I pray that this does not sound arrogant because I know that I have had NOTHING to do with how my body has turned out after loosing 300+ pounds – I have to give God all the praise for it, but if getting P.S. was based on how I "look" I am satisfied now as long as I have clothing on. The reason I am thinking of having it done is because of the abdominal muscles that are torn, the folds of skin pinching when I sit and move, belly button infections, and an upper/inner thigh infection that I just got over. We took pictures to document it. I am finding it a little frustrating talking to people about P.S. because I feel like I am having to defend myself as to why I would be having any done, because to them, they don’t see my need for it. I am debating on putting pictures of myself, on my profile, of "before P.S.". I want the pictures to be modest though, so I don’t know if it will be possible…we’ll see.

Something that I had missed very much and am enjoying so much now is feeling feminine. Being so heavy, I was not able to walk like a lady, sit like a lady, stand like a lady….it feels wonderful to be able to feel feminine now. I am having so much fun wearing heels, too. Thank You, Lord Jesus!

I retook my pictures with me with my size 6X slacks and my homemade skirt at the weight that I am now. It feels like a dream…I was at the extreme other end…having to wear "Big Men’s" slippers, sandals and socks and at the extreme end of the Large Lady’s clothing. I am feeling so blessed now to be experiencing the "other" end….size 6 jeans…small shirts and jackets…small belts! I will forever praise God for all He has done for me! I remember the homemade cape that my mom made for me to wear for a coat because I could not find a coat big enough to go around me. We bought a large fleece blanket at Wal-Mart and she made me a cape that had pretty trim around the collar and armholes. Bless her heart!!! Thanks Mom for always being there to help! I love you!

Our son is getting married on January 26^th, 2008. My mom and sister and I went gown shopping a few weeks ago, and I found a gown just like what I had wanted. We were also able to find comfortable matching shoes and a clutch purse. I never dreamed that we would have been able to find everything the first time out shopping! PTL!

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10-30-07 – With all the loose skin moving around, it really helps to wear my jeans kind of snug. It holds the folds in place and gives support. I bought a "body slimmer" at Wal-Mart that goes from just under my bust almost to my knees. I love it, but is a royal pain when it’s time to use the lady’s room! I don’t wear it with jeans, but with my dress slacks, since they give no support. It feels wonderful! 

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9-1-07 – I HAVE KNEE CAPS!!! They are no longer MIA!!! I can actually cup them with my hand. I have not been able to do that in over fifteen years! I am now in a size 8 pair of Wal-Mart jeans!!!! Somebody pinch me! I don’t ever remember being in size 8’s in all my adult life! PTL!!! This is also without PS (Plastic Surgery). I feel very blessed! Most people either think that I don’t need PS or they think I already have had it done. They don’t see me without my clothes on! I have to thank God for allowing my body to look the way it does after loosing so much, because I even think that it should look a lot worse after loosing 300 pounds! I am amazed, myself, at how well my clothing camouflage my hanging skin. Now don’t get me wrong….believe me, from the shoulders down my body looks like a 90 year old woman. Last Wednesday, I had to have another sleep study done - my fourth one! Since I have a CDL license, they need to know "officially" whether or not I need to still use my C-PAP machine. I haven’t used it in over a year. Anyway, the tech that was hooking me up was asking me all sorts of questions about my weight loss, since the she had read on the diagnosis that the sleep study was being done because of extreme weight loss. She couldn’t believe that I once weighed 465 pounds, so I showed her some pictures…I ALWAYS carry pictures with me! She said it was just so overwhelming and that she just couldn’t imagine that the pictures were me. Well, as she was hooking all the electrodes up to me, she then saw the hanging flesh on my arms and legs. That’s when she believed. She gasped and said, "Oh dear". I told her that if I have PS it wouldn’t be until next summer. It was so neat this time at the hospital! It felt like God was giving me redemption on how my life used to be. Before, I would have had to be driven to the hospital, pushed up to my room in an extremely wide wheelchair (after they would have to scour the hospital to find one!), they then would have to find an extra large B/P cuff and then find that it would only fit on my lower arm….THIS TIME I drove myself, walked up to my room carrying ALL my stuff myself and what blessed me more than anything was when the tech was fitting belts around me to hold all the electrode wires in place, she said she was going to have to leave the room to go and get the smallest belts because these were all too big for me!!! REDEMPTION!!! Thank You, Lord Jesus! I could have cried! She was actually happy for me, too! 

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9-9-07 – I have now been blessed with loosing 305 pounds! I now weigh 160 pounds and only have 10 pounds to go to get to goal! PTL! I feel great and thank God daily for His deliverance! 

For anyone who thinks that you will never experience any struggles again, are mistaking. Life always gives us tests and trials and always will, but the key is learning how to get and keep the victory in them. I had gotten down to 170 pounds and gained back up to 183. Thank the Lord that I have, again, lost 23 pounds and refocused! We must keep a "knife to our throat". (PROVERBS 23:2 - "And put a knife to thy throat (gullet), if thou be a man given to appetite." ) How do we do that? It can be different for everyone. What do YOU do to "keep a knife to YOUR throat"? …Plan out your meals? Weigh your food? Record your food? Exercise? Drink your fluids? We have to stay focused and keep on track! I love using FitDay.com to record my food and weight. We must "manage" our appetites or our appetites will manage us! There is no middle ground! We have been given a precious tool and we should use it to the Glory of God! It is our choice….and thank God for CHOICE! Have you ever gotten tired of "loosing weight"? Have you ever just gotten sick and tired of "keeping on track"? Like you just want to splurge? I’ve been there and will probably be there again, so what do you do? Get back on track! Do the things that you know to do even if you don’t feel like doing them! To do this you must know what to "return to". You have to have had a routine to begin with, that is why you should not take likely the "training" (reprogramming) that you receive during the first year! It has to be so engrained in you that you are able to get back on track with it!

MENU SAMPLE:
6:00 AM – ½ cup of Chocolate Carb. Countdown Milk
10:00 AM – 4 ounces protein (canned chicken or pork or tuna)
       4 ounces salad (lettuce, radishes, onion, broccoli, red cabbage)
       1 Tablespoon salad dressing
       1 ounces fruit (apple or banana)
       1 Citracal Calcium Chew
4:00 PM - 4 ounces protein (canned chicken or pork or tuna)
       4 ounces salad (lettuce, radishes, onion, broccoli, red cabbage)
      1 Tablespoon salad dressing
      1 ounces fruit (apple or banana)
      1 Citracal Calcium Chew
100 ounces of fluid throughout the day.
This is approximately 700 calories a day and 55-60 grams of protein.

I have been enjoying taking 4 ounces of chicken or pork and stirring in 1 tablespoon of BBQ sauce or 4 ounces of tuna and 1 tablespoon of sour cream or 3-4 ounce hamburger cut into my salad.

I never want to experience the reminders of being obese again! Just with those thirteen pounds that I had regained, I was reminded of the leg swellings, the puffy face, the tight rings, not sleeping as well… NEVER again! Thank You Lord Jesus for reminding me of what you have delivered me out of! 

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9-11-07 – Next week it will be 23 months since I had my WLS. Next month I go for my two-year checkup! Life has sure changed! I remember, many years ago, standing up (leaning against a podium) before a crowd of kids at the youth center giving a lesson and in that lesson I remember telling them that I would not always look like this (400+ pounds). I knew that God was going to deliver me and He has! Thank You, Lord! He has allowed me to be an overcomer in the area that I always felt overcome by. He has and is empowering me to get the victory and walk triumphantly in managing my weight! He has done all this, and I praise His Holy Name! 

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9-17-07 - HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU, JESUS! I officially no longer need a C-PAP machine! I passed my sleep study with "no abnormalities" and "everything within normal range"! I am sooooo happy! I can't quit praising the Lord for all He has done! REDEMPTION!!!

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7-1-07 – My size 10 jeans are getting loose on me! Hallelujah! I am really trying to get to 165 by July 14^th, two weeks away! I have five more pounds to go! For over two weeks now my weight would not go below 173-174, so this past Thursday, I started eating the protein "diet" that the doctor told me to do this past November to "jumpstart" my weight loss. It seems to be working! I am finally down to 170, a loss of 295 pounds! I am really looking forward to getting my 300 pound weight loss card from O.H. I was so busy this past week that I was not able to do any exercising. Like I shared in my June 8 entry, I am sure glad that the first 240-250 pounds did not come off this hard…it would have been soooooo discouraging! These last fifty pounds have come off like trying to wring out the last little bit of water from a dishrag!

I had fun trying to twirl a baton yesterday. When I was in elementary school I used to take baton-twirling lessons. I actually won several trophies and medals in competition. Even after all these years, I can remember several parts of my routine. I was able to do elbow-rolls, fishtails, single spin, horizontals, and I remembered my entire entrance and salute. I know I probably looked pretty pathetic, I mean, a 46 year old (almost 47) woman twirling around like that! But it felt great!!!! Thank You, Jesus!