ObesityHelp

This entry is to allow for comments.  I will keep changing the date so that it will be the first post...I want to keep all comments in the same spot.  Like I said before I welcome comments.  I have realized that positive comments keep me going and fill me with sunshine....

It has been one year since my VSG WLS…One whole year of celebration.  I have transformed not only my body but my mind and my way of “LIVING”. 

One year ago I could not cross my legs, as I had no lap to rest my leg on.  One year ago I was superficially “happy”, not even realizing myself how unhappy I was.  Don’t get me wrong…I am not always on a high there are painful/hurtful times that I have crossed since WLS, however, I have learned a few things…It’s not because I am fat..it is just because it is a painful/hurtful moment I am experiencing.  I live my life more on a plateau than on the top of a mountain and then falling into the valley. 

You know what else makes me happy – driving my car and the steering wheel not hitting my gut!  Fitting into small places like isles and tight booths!  

My children are much happier, because they have a Mom who is not always tired, demanding, and just down right in a bad mood.  They are no longer my slaves to everything I was too tired to do myself.  We share the housework now…It is not them while I take a nap.  Isn’t that a horrible way to live…Now everybody contributes…YES even Mom.  I can do it!!!  My home is much cleaner because I have the energy and the strength to move around and “just get it done”.  On my year surgiversary I asked Chato (my youngest son) what changes he has seen in me good or bad…he said “You are not always tired and grouchy.” I said “Now I am just grouchy” Chato’s response was no “you still get mad but now it’s when I don’t do what I am suppose to.”…WOW my children understand the difference between being in a bad mood and being upset because they didn’t do what they were suppose to do.  They knew all along the difference…Did I? 

Walking into a room and men turn to look I question “are they looking at me” I kind of do a scan to look for the young pretty girl that made these men look up…there is no one there…just me – It makes me feel like a beautiful woman. Going to family gatherings is also soooo very special.  There are family members who have not seen me in over a year so they are ready to see the old Rosa …when they see me their expressions are that of surprise and amazement.  The flurry of complements I love to absorb them.  One thing I have to say…everyone I mean everyone tells me what a beautiful person I am…That I have always been beautiful and that what counts is what I have in the inside.  Sometimes so heartfelt I cry for all those wonderful thoughts shared. 

I read posts…in the beginning I couldn’t live without watching the computer screen or the scale for that matter!!!!  Hours addicted to the computer (remember I could not satisfy my old addiction anymore…my new tool said “now now, we will have none of that”, so I attached to the next best thing for me “my trusty puter”, but guess what it has been one year now and I don’t have the same time to sit in front of the computer waiting for a new post…I check in often because I want to see what is going on…but not like before. 

I look into the mirror and see my mother…she is beautiful!  What a nice sight.  I have a thin face now, beautiful neck and nice shoulders…and guess what wonderfully clear skin!!!!!  Pre-op I have dark pigmentation around my neck and on my checks…it is gone now…no more discoloration.  

A few weeks after surgery I had my nails done along with a pedicure.  I have not missed a nail/pedicure appointment since.  I feel like such a woman. 

I don’t know what makes me happier walking in sexy HIGH heels or shopping for size 8 pants and medium blouses!!!!!  Dam I feel good walking into the store and knowing I have soooo many choices now.  I don’t have to go look for a black skirt and some flowered blouse for my party outfit.  Nooo NOOOOOOOOOOO now I try on clothes with color (I know black is a color, but doesn’t every fat girl hide behind that black dress/skirt/pants, etc.?).  I was such an odd shape that I couldn’t even wear stylish clothes, because plus size clothing are made for people who are large all over – not the odd big stomach girl…which was me.  

My perception on my relationship with my DH.  REMEMBER this is my perception…DH’s reality may be different and I may be way off.  Let me start off by saying I have a very charismatic DH both men and women want to be around him.    Pre-op we would go places and people would completely ignore me, they would say “hello” and then turn to him and chop it up.  Once a woman we met a friend’s party when leaving shook my husbands hand and with this dreamy smile said how much of a pleasure it was too have met him.  She turned to me (she had forgotten she just met me too) and said “oh yea and you too”.  So I tell this story so you can get the feel of the fat girl with the charismatic DH and what she was feelin’ now I don’t want you to think that I was not a social person…remember I was the “happy” fat girl that everyone liked (remember the above comments from family members) but DH was always spot lighted. 

Well now it is completely different, people are looking at me first and talking to me.  I am not sure why?  Is it because I am thinner and people treat you different?  Or is it that I carry myself differently?  I have to say I think I was more approachable when I was fat than now…I could be wrong.  I think I will have to ask a few people to send me an email on the changes they have seen in me.  I veered way off of my topic…of my DH…I know he likes having a more physically attractive wife – but I don’t think he likes all the attention I get.  He has complained about my heels that I look “funny” in them.  I will ask my sister’s their opinions and they say they look fine, when I tell DH what other people say – his reply is “I am telling you they look funny”  as to say they are not telling me the truth or something.  Maybe I am trying to read into something that maybe he really just feels they look funny…I guess my question should be – do you think heels look funny on other women?  Or just me? 

I told DH I was journaling and that I would like for him to send me something good or bad about my surgery…. 

ONE YEAR AGO.

Gorda…
        one year ago you made a life changing decision that has definitely changed you physically and mentally. The obvious of corse is physical. Witch if I do say so my self enjoy a lot, you look very nice. The biggest change though is your level of confidence and your self esteem, it all comes across on the way you dress, act and the way you interact with people, I can see it in your face, body language, so I know you feel good about your self and that makes me happy. One change I was afraid of was that you would loose what I love the most about you (your beautiful personality.) know I have a beautiful wife both in and out. Energy level wise you say you have a lot more of it but every time we do the deed you look exhausted and fall asleep. 

Te quiro mucho mi gorda flaca. 


It was so important to me that I read something so positive from him.  It makes a world of difference from what I hear him saying to what I have read.  

I feel much calmer and in control of MY life.  I have learned I can not and do not control the people or universe around me…just in control of my choices…learn, love and give freely – it doesn’t cost anything to do these three wonderful things.  

WEIGHT AND MEASUREMENTS 
March 10, 2006 / March 31, 2007 

260 LBS / 155 LBS 
my height is 5' 3.5 

body measurements are: 
thigh 28" / 23 
Hip 58" / 42 
Waist 48" / 35 
chest 50.5" / 39.5 
upper arm 16" / 13 
BMI - 45.33 MORBID OBESE / 27.02 OVERWEIGHT   
I wear a size 24 (sometimes 22)  3x (sometimes 2x)  / 8 AND MEDIUMS 
shoe size 9 or 9.5 / 8 
panties 11 / 6 
bra size 44d (d is slightly too big) / 34 C

I went out with a co-worker to do a home visit with a client that I have not seen in over a year.  I was going over her file with her and asked her to start sending a certain document to our office.  She said she would and stated "yea I told Rosa about it" I replied "I'm Rosa" she stated "no the other Rosa" I replied "Raj - I am Rosa".  She looked so shocked and stunned - she yelled "GIRL WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU! Oh my God you look beautiful, I didn't know it was you!"

Hey gang saw everyone doing monthly updates so I thought I would post…I have been at 155 lbs for several days now, however, I have been fluctuating between 159, 157 and 155 for like nine weeks now – yes nine weeks!!!!!!  But get this – in mid-November I got into a size 8 and I weighed about 160lbs at that time – they fit nicely – a little snug – but they fit – So here is the moral of the story…I have not been losing - only five pounds since November – BUT last night at Ross I bought my first pair of size 6 slacks…It’s freakin’ crazy, it doesn’t even sound right – how can I be 155lbs and wearing a size 6!!!!  Really it doesn’t make sense to me I have NEVER NEVER IN MY LIFE WORE A SIZE 6 ANYTHING – not even underware!!!!!!!   It blows me away that I can wear size 8 and now even own a pair of slacks in a size 6 – then I got to thinking that maybe the tag was sewn on upside down and went to look so I could read which way the letters were facing – yup – they were a size 6.  I still don’t believe it – somebody pinch me – no wait if I am dreaming – let me be….but I know I am not dreaming but my gosh…I am living a dream right now!!!!!!!

Ok so I also bought a pair of white jeans (kind of a sailor pant look) size 8 and a white blouse, bought red high heel shoes and a matching red bag….I walked down the stairs this morning and my young neighbor Ricky’s (ten years old – we carpool – I take him to school in the am and then they pick up my son in the pm) eyes popped out of his head…I looked at him and said “do I look funny Ricky”…biggest compliments come from kids…he said “naw, you look nice, I just never seen you in those kind of clothes”. 

OK…now for my bad behaviors…why I have not lost any weight in 9 weeks…I have not been walking (very very cold where I live 27 degrees in the am and I AM NOT USED TO THIS COLD WEATHER!) nor have I been going to the gym.  I have been eating, but have been craving sweets – pre-op I was not a big sweet eater – so now I am wondering how my blood work is…this month I will be going and have the blood work done to see what is going on.  I have not physically craved foods until now with the sweets.  I’ll let you guys know about my blood work when I get the results.  I guess that’s it for now…It’s funny in the beginning I used to update my profile often…now it’s gone to about one to two times a month.  I am thinking I need to go back to writing down the things that are happening on the same basis to help guide me to what is going on mentally. 

Here I go again shouting from the roof tops….I LOVE MY VSG!!!!!