Since surgery 11/30/11, I have lost 45 pounds; overall, since my heaviest weight, I have lost almost 60 pounds!  Unbelievable.  I know without a doubt I could not have lost that much weight without surgery.  I will always be grateful to my surgeon for giving me my life back.  And now, of course, what I do with it is up to me.

I'm most definitely healthier and that's great!  Because I can deal with stress better.  Yeah, it still gets to me at times:  trying to get promoted (not much luck), buying a new condo and having to deal with the hassles of the mortgage folks asking me for MORE documents every time I turn around, thinking about dating and being social again.  The stress is still there, yet I feel like I handle it differently.  Why is that?  Less fat, more mental strength?  Who knows.  I'm just grateful to be almost 60 lbs lighter than I was this time last year. 

With spring now here, I'm playing softball, walking/jogging, and trying to find time for tennis.  I'm going to the beach in May and can't wait!  There is so much I want to do now, and I'm actually able to do.  Although I must admit, softball is teaching me that I am no longer 23 or 33 -- I'm 53, and I can't do what I did at those ages anymore regardless of weight!

Spring has a wonderful, new meaning to me this year.  It's like nature is awakening, and so am I.  A tad cheesy, perhaps, but that's the way I feel.  Life is good!

We've made it to a New Year, and boy did 2011 fly by (after I got my surgery approved...until that time it seemed to be crawling by, agonizingly slowly).  In the past I've been pretty blase about New Year's, ho-hum, another one bites the dust, etc.  I wasn't really "up" about starting a new 12 months.  But, not surprisingly, after gastric sleeve surgery on 11/30/11 and having lost just over 25 pounds already, I believe I have a whole new outlook on this  New Year's stuff.

I have been blessed with a second chance through this surgery.  I can lose weight, get my fitness level back, hopefully start running again, playing tennis, maybe even doing a triathlon this fall.  I am very, very lucky to be in the position I am in.  I also decided  I needed to give myself a second chance spiritually/mentally/emotionally as well.  I've wasted oh so much time being down, pessimistic, frustrated...not just about waiting for surgery, but about job issues, relationships, daily stress.  While I was at home recovering after surgery I re-read some books that helped me begin the process of adjusting my attitude ("Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" which is quite good; and Robin Roberts' "Seven Rules to Live By" -- excellent).  It ain't easy, and I need frequent reminders:  those poor books have dog-eared pages and highlights and notes in the margin!!  But I can tell I'm onto something, and I'm not gonna let go.  If I need repetition to fix things, then so be it.  My body is headed in the right direction, and I will make sure my head and my heart are doing the same.  After many years, I'm finally beginning to realize that I am worth the hard work. 

For all of you who are still fighting the battle to get your bariatric surgery, please persevere.  Know that it is worth it, and even when you think you are at the lowest spot, remember you WILL rise above it all.  Keep going, keep fighting.  Your health, your wellbeing, and your good state of mind are worth the battle.  If I can do it, so can you.  Look to this website for support -- it is one of the most valuable tools I discovered in this journey.  We all understand what you're going through, and we can help you.  And don't wait until surgery to start working on your head.  It will save you time post-op and will make your recovery that much quicker!

So Happy New Year everybody.  Make the most of 2012.  We all deserve a GREAT one!

My VSG surgery on 11/30/11 went very well.  I was able to come home from the hospital the next afternoon. 

I have realized that I got to have 2 Thanksgiving days this year:  the first on the 24th, and the second on the 30th when I got thru my surgery.  I have been blessed:  with wonderful and supportive friends and family (including my OH family), a gifted surgeon in Paul Macik, and a wonderful, awesome care team at Northside Hospital's Bariatric Unit 4C!  I truly could not have asked for a better group of folks to be taking care of me. 

And now, to the loser's bench.  It's taking some getting used to right now, not being able to eat solid food and having to carefully and slowly sip fluids instead of gulping them down.  And I have now realized just how much I used to eat when I was bored/frustrated/upset/happy -- outrageous!  This is an eye-opening experience in so many ways.

As my body heals this week, I'm also taking time to let my spirit and emotions heal.  I cringe when I go back and look at postings from this past summer, when I was so stressed out because someone I was interested in didn't find me attractive!  Sorry, I just don't have time for that anymore.  There's no room in my life for people who can't accept me as I am -- whether that be overweight or not.  I look at the friends I DO have now, and they are wonderful people:  they love me regardless of my weight and regardless of my all-too-human idiosyncrasies!  I hope the future will bring more of these kind of people into my life.  As for the others, I feel sorry for them now:  they are missing out on so much in life because they judge people superficially, and pass up the many gifts others could bring them.  Their loss, most definitely!

This is going to be an exciting journey!  And it's only just beginning!  Here's to a wonderful, happy, and safe holiday for all, and the first TRULY NEW YEAR I've had in my life! 2012 is my time to kick butt.  I think I will!

Thank heavens for this website.  I now know that it is perfectly normal to have sweated blood agonizing over getting VSG surgery approved, then once it is approved, to be absolutely terrified as the day approaches.  YIKES!  WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!  Yep, all that's to be expected.  It's scary to realize one is going under the knife, even though the results will hopefully be life-changing.  I'm tired of diabetes, tired of high blood pressure and arthritis.  I want to run, and play racquetball and tennis and softball.  I want to have energy to get through the day without feeling like my rear end is dragging.  I am, as I told my surgeon at my first appointment, sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So, what's to do now?  My low/no-carb diet, exercise like crazy, stock up on good books to read during recovery.  And turn to this website for reassurance and comfort.  I couldn't have done it without OH and the good folks on the forums I visit who have helped support me through this entire process.  There aren't words to express the extent of my gratitude. 

12 days to a new life!

As I wait for my surgery date on November 30, I'm trying not to freak out...focus, focus on the things I'll be able to do once I lose weight.  So, what better way than to make resolutions, right?  Why wait for the New Year?  So, here we go with the New "Me" Resolutions.   A work in progress, but I have to start somewhere.

1.  I will do at least one new thing each month.  Some things will have to wait til I'm completely physically recovered, of course: like sign up to play softball next spring, get my motorcycle license.  But I can get a membership to the local botanical garden any time, and I can read a new book every month as well.  Good way to start recovery, when it will be too cold to do much outside anyway.

2.  I will go to one new event each month.  Post-op support groups, professional meetings/get-togethers, any place where I can meet new people.  Real people, not just Facebook "friends". 

3.  I will celebrate without using food!  Big one.  Hopefully this will be easier to stick to once I've had 85% of my stomach removed, don't you think?

4.  I will focus on friends, not "acquaintances."  Yep, time to clean house.  I've had it with folks who think they are my "friends" simply because they give me a poke on Facebook now and again.  My definition of a friend is someone who I actually see live and in person!  Face to face!  We have lunch together, or coffee, or something more than a vague cyber-gesture!!  We actually have a CONVERSATION...that's my idea of a friend.  Sadly I don't seem to have many of those these days.  Got to work on that, and I will. 

5.  I will go on a date.  I won't wait for someone to ask me out.  If I meet someone I am interested in, and there is "chemistry" there, I will ask them for a date.  If they say no, their loss. 

OK, that's a start.  I have time to come up with more.  I'm taking a drastic step here in my life; I'm being given a second chance, to start over and be healthier and happier.  I intend to make the most of it.