ObesityHelp

It's almost Christmas. 2 sleeps and a wake up. It's probably the most excited for Christmas that I've been since I was a little girl. It's funny how you live your childhood again through your children's eyes. This year I'm blessed to have a 3 year old who is at the beginning of Christmas exhileration, and a 5 month old who... well, really couldn't care less, but we'll throw in a few gifts for him anyway, because we love him :)

Lately, I've been thinking about my surgery and the impact it's had on my life, going on 7 years out. It's interesting, the further I get out, the more I understand what my body can and can not handle. More than I have been in tuned with in years past. You would think that within the first 2-3 years, you could totally predict and completely understand your body after a surgery like this... but every year that goes by, I learn and understand even more.

After having been through 2 pregnancies, I now understand how malabsorption really effects my body and the way I absorb medications and vitamins. This, of course, is not helped by the fact that I had thyroid problems pre existing at the time I had the surgery, and those issues will always remain. They're only exacerbated by after effects of the surgery. Turns out, when I get pregnant, I require about a third more thyroid hormone to keep my levels stable, which is only complicated by malabsorption in determining dosage amounts. Just when we think we have it right, we don't.  Pre-natal vitamins are a must every day, whether I'm pregnant or not. Calcium, Vitamin D, B12 and B complex vitamins are a daily staple. When I'm pregnant, I add about another 5 vits and minerals to the mix. Over the years, I have created a tolerance to dairy, which also depends on the time of day I try. I can never have straight milk in the morning without spending an hour in the bathroom afterwards. However, I do try to have a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with pineapple tidbits in the morning, just to get the fat level right in my breast milk off to a good start in the morning.

The following foods, no matter the time of day, I will always have an issue with:

* dry chicken
* ground beef
* well done or tough beef
* Sticky rice
* Fiberous vegetables
* Fiberous fruits
* Potatoes (well, high amounts or with other food- fills me up way too quick)
* Chinese food (probabaly for the sticky rice and fiberous veggies)
* Fried chicken (bathroom party, woo hoo!)
* High fat/sugar ice cream
* Sugar alcohols
* Anything cooked in high amounts of fat/oil (ESPECIALLY in the morning)
* And for whatever reason, most anything my mom cooks

There are probably other things to add to the list, but it seems the list gets longer and longer with each year that goes by. Eating healthy and eating enough to stay healthy are becoming a problem. I can't seem to tolerate hardly any veggies or fruits unless they're very soft to begin with, like squash, tomatoes, strawberries (only a few), or grapes (skinned). In years past, I seemed to have no problem with those types of food, or maybe I did but I was too ignorant to notice.

Which only leads to another problem, in that it seems like the food that I seem to have the most tolerance too are carbs! I can eat bread, crackers,  and whatnot with no problem. So even though I don't tolerate a lot of foods, I can keep my weight up because of all the damn carbs. Well, and having a couple babies.

I gained 29 lbs with my first baby 3 years ago, and lost 19 before getting pregnant with my second baby last year. I gained 23 lbs with the second pregnancy, and so far have lost 15 lbs since he was born 5 months ago. So... to get back to my pre pregnancy weight from my second, I still have 7 lbs to go, and to get back to my pre pregnancy weight from my first, I still have 20 lbs. So I have two goals before me. First 7 lbs. Then another 13 following that. It sounds like small potatoes considering how much I lost after my surgery, but something about baby fat is like glue. Especially when you don't have time to work out, nor can you find healthy foods to eat that you can even tolerate.

The one thing I have found that works the best is just cutting portion sizes. Measuring what goes on your plate. And take time to chew and eat so you feel when you get full and stop at that moment. I also try to cut out salt. So I'm gonna keep on keeping on and hopefully this weight will be gone before I know it. In the meantime, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I still think I look good, and I still love myself so that's all that matters. I may not be my thinnest, but I'm definitely my happiest.

Wow. So it would seem that I haven't bothered to update this thing since a year ago, on my last surgiversary. It's amazing how time flies. I was dealing with a lot of heartache last April, after just having suffered my first miscarriage; and didn't know it at the time, but would have another one just a few months later. Turned out to be a depressing year. Depression never leads to healthy eating, and I would have to say my weight fluctuated a tad beyond the normal 5-10 lbs that it tends to do, but what I can I say? In November, I was blessed with my third pregnancy of the year and that little critter stuck around, and I'm almost 7 months pregnant now.... with another little boy :)  

When I got pregnant, I was already about 10 lb over my average weight, and so far I've only gained 12 lbs with this pregnancy. So, my overall pregnancy weight isn't bad, but after I have the baby I plan on being very intent on getting back to my 160-170 range where I belong.

After 6 years, my surgery seems like a distant memory. Most days, I don't even remember I had it done... until I go to eat something which reminds me, ever so subtly. Like if I get ballsy and try to have a bowl of ice cream or a milkshake, or if I try to eat the amount I want, which is more than I physically can, and I have to wind up purging what doesn't fit. There are those times, and there always will be, I hope... they keep me in check. I say this as I sit here eating a corn dog and french fries :/ What? The baby wanted it :)

Wow! Five years!? For real? I almost can't believe it's been this long. So much has happened over the last 5 years, and I've changed so much, both in a physical sense and mentally. Surgically, I've changed quite a bit. I had a gastric bypass in 05 and lost 105 lbs. I had a breast aug in 05 and went from an A-B to a  full D. I had a tummy tuck in 09 that took off almost 8 lbs of excess skin. A tummy tuck, which my insurance miraculously paid for! I got married in 05, and had a baby in 08, gained 30 lbs during pregnancy and lost it all within a year following delivery. 5 years after the gastric bypass, today I weigh in at around 173 lbs, which is 10 lbs above my goal... which is statistically right where I should be at 5 years out. I go up and down about 5 lbs... but if I ever find myself getting to the scary line (180), I do my best to eat right, stay active and bring that number back down to an acceptable level for me. I can eat pretty much anything I want, in moderation. There are a few trigger foods that I know I should not eat (i.e. ice cream, cereal, etc.), and if I do eat those foods I regret it quickly after. But for the most part, I can eat pretty much whatever I want, sugar included. I can eat pasta, rice, bread, meat, fruits, veggies, nuts, etc. Depending on how the meats are cooked, there are times I can't tolerate it. If chicken is too dry, I can't digest it and I have to force myself to "eject" it if it winds up getting stuck in there. If steak is too tough, I have the same problem. But for the most part, if the meat is cooked properly and I chew it enough, I do fine. I'm one of the select few that could eat sugar right from the beginning, so I learned early on that I had to develop responsibility for myself. I couldn't rely on the gastric bypass alone to do all the work for me... because there would be and are times that I'm tempted and I allow myself to give in. Something the gastric bypass did give me instead of "dumping" was hypoglycemia. My sugar will spike and then drop to extremely low levels with trigger foods. So I've had to learn to avoid trigger foods and manage low blood sugar if and when I get it... but most of the times, I don't have any trouble at all. But because I'm responsible for myself, I know I have to moderate what I eat... and I try to do the best I can. Most importantly, I'm happy with the way I am and that's something I could never convince myself about further than 5 years ago.

To those of you reading who are at the starting line or even just thinking about it... the most important thing I can say is believe in yourself! You can do this, and once you've taken that first step, don't look back! There is happiness out there, and the only one that can bring it to you is you, and the only one that can take it away from you, is you. You are ultimately the one that has to be responsible for yourself. So stay focused, stay motivated and do what you think is right for you! Don't let anyone else push you into anything. To those of you who have just had the surgery, you will make it! Take baby steps. Learn from your mistakes. Don't get discouraged, and just remember- food is only food.  There are other ways to make yourself happy and there are other sources of comfort. You've done the best thing you could do for yourself, and now that you've made this decision- you are on the path to healthiness, and that is the best path to be on.

Now for a few pics!

Before (273 lbs)


1 Year After (160 lbs)


5 Years after (173 lbs)

So, all the claims have finally processed through my insurance and here are the final numbers.

Before insurance, all the claims for the surgery, hospital, surgeon, anesthesia and everything in between added up to:

$18,238.76

After insurance, all claims considered, I owe a grand total of... (drum roll please)....

$484.17 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I have to say is, thank GOD for private insurance. Here's the breakdown:

Anesthesia:

Before Insurance: $2,535.00
After Insurance: $86.14

(I think they submitted a double claim, I'm going to have to check into this)

Hospital

Before Insurance: $12,663.76
After Insurance: $274.13

Labs:

Before Insurance: $40.00
After Insurance: $32.00

Surgeon:

Before Insurance: $3,000.00
After Insurance: $91.90

Grand Total out of Pocket: $484.17

Well, I'm almost a month post-op from my TT. I feel great. I've been back to work full time since I was 2 weeks post-op. I remember feeling absolutely drained after my GB... I didn't get my energy back for months. It probably had a lot to do with the dramatic decrease in food intake. But this time, I've had no drop in energy and everything is healing wonderfully. I love my new figure. Very hour-glassy :P 

My surgeon took my last drain out last week because I begged him to. He didn't really want to do it, because it was still draining about 100cc's a day, but... I asked him to pull it because it was getting painful, irritated, and looked like it was getting infected. Well, big mistake. Now I have a waterbed in my abdomen. I push on one side of my incision, and a wave ripples across to the other side. It also pools in my mons area, so now that looks all puffy too. I'm going in tomorrow morning to have it drained. They're going to have to suck it out with a syringe... but it's my own fault. I'll just take a vicodin before I go and hopefully between that and my numb areas, it won't hurt too bad. 

Aside from the swelling from the retained fluid in my abdomen, most of the other swelling has gone down in my hips and tummy. Before they pulled the drain, I had actually managed to fit into a pair of my size 12's that I hadn't worn since before I was pregnant early last year. I still haven't seen much of a change on the scale. It started coming down, and then stalled once they pulled the drain. So... I still haven't even seen the 7-8 loss from just the skin removal. I think I've lost even more than that because I can see it in my face, neck and arms. They say you won't see true results until about 3-6 months, so I'll just wait. In the mean time, I'm still really happy with the results I have so far. I LOVE having a flat tummy. I can wear anything now, and it makes me so excited to go shopping (when I have the money, lol).

Ok... well, that's really all for now. I'll be taking more pics soon and will post them as soon as I do. Thanks for reading!  

Well, I'm a week and a half post-op from my tummy tuck. I have to say that I'm healing WAY faster than I anticipated. I was back to work for a few hours just 1 week after surgery. I can stand up completely straight. I'm basically off pain meds.... I'll take one now and again if I over do it. I can hold my 20+ lb baby, and resume my motherly duties. I can bend over, sit down, and stand up all with very little difficulty. And a little TMI, but I can have a BM easily... luckily the pain meds haven't constipated me *knock on wood*.

I am SO beyond happy with the results so far. It looks AMAZING. I never thought I would have such a flat, sexy tummy... and my mons looks fantastic! I actually look like a 24 year old woman "down there" now, lol. My scar is nice and low, and from what I can tell, is healing nice and thin. Honestly, I can't wait to give my body a "spin". I know I was told to wait 6 weeks before "strenuous exercise", but I think we can be gentle *evil grin*. It's funny how much a tummy tuck can change self perception. I'm so confident now. I love my body, and I'm not afraid to show it off anymore. I have no self doubt.

I just can't wait to get rid of this binder and the last remaining drain! I just want to be the new me! I could probably be satisfied with letting this be the last I have done to myself. I could probably use a theigh lift, but if I don't ever get one it won't be the end of the world. I was most unhappy with the extra skin on my abdomen, and now that it's gone... I am finally me. All me.

The only surprise left is how much I will ultimately have to pay out of pocket. I got the bill from the hospital the other day, and they have about $12,600 pending with insurance, and that doesn't include the surgeon's fee. So... we'll see what happens in the end. If it all works out the way I *think* it will, I shouldn't have to pay over $1,000 out of pocket. All my deductibles have been paid already, so we'll see. But I plan on posting here and a thread in the plastic surgery forum about just how much it costs in the end... because that's something no one really talks about, even with insurance. So... I'll be sure to spill the details.

Ok... well, the baby's finally napping, and I think I'll take the opportunity to nap myself. Thanks for reading!

[edit] BTW, when i had my 1 week post-op appt, my surgeon told me that they removed 7-8 lbs of skin and fat during surgery!!! He was really impressed. He said, normally the skin/fat on the abdomen doesn't weigh as much as people think it does, but the fact that he removed 7-8 lbs was really impressive to him. No one, even my surgeon, thought I had so much extra skin. I fooled everyone!! Mwahahahahahaha!!! So in your face to everyone that didn't think I needed it!!! :P

I had my tummy tuck 3 days ago. Today I'm able to stand up semi-upright. I'm still in quite a bit of pain, but it's manageable. It's quite a change to see my tummy go straight down to my hips. So much has changed and I still haven't taken the dressings off to see the whole thing yet. I actually had my husband wheel me in to see Harry Potter opening night last night. I told myself I would be there opening night, and damn if I wasn't! LOL.

I haven't talked with my surgeon since surgery, so I'm not sure exactly how much was taken off in weight, but from the pictures he took, I know at least 18 inches was taken off (in width). A lot of my mons pubis was removed too, so that whole area looks a lot different. When the skin was pulled down, my GB scar was pulled down so far that it met with my belly button, so my surgeon had to revise that scar to be able to work with it. Basically he removed it, and re-closed it.

I'm still pretty swollen, so I haven't been able to see the real results, but from what I can see... it looks wonderful. More "after" pics will be sure to come as soon as I can stand straight... which won't be long. Stay tuned!

In 11 days, I will be under the knife again. While I'm scared of the expected pain, I'm super excited for this to be done! My surgeon said the pain level will be close if not worse than the gastric bypass.... so, that sucks pretty bad. As long as I'm hooked up with a way to manage the pain, and good support from my family, I know I'll do fine. I haven't really gotten a lot of support from friends. Everyone kind of give me the whole "I'm jealous" expression, and then they all ask why I don't wait until I'm done having children. I guess no one truly understands what a burden the extra skin is until they live 15-20+ years morbidly obese and then have a gastric bypass and lose 100+ lbs. This isn't just the surgery to me. To me, it's a milestone and the end of a journey. I'm just so tired of having to defend my desire for a tummy tuck, like it's some horrible thing to do. I got some of the same kind of crap before my gastric bypass, like from people that didn't think I needed it. Like it was their decision or something. Anyways. So to all you haterz out there... get over it.

Speaking of pregnancy after a TT; My surgeon and I talked at great length about it yesterday, and not only is he going to do the muslce tightening free of charge since insurance won't cover the muscle tightening, but he's also going to use absorbable suters, so the suters won't rip and tear through the muscle when I get pregnant again. Hopefully it'll allow me to stretch a little, so I won't have the "barrell" look. It's funny, one of the reasons I want this done so bad is so I can appreciate my baby bump the next time I get pregnant. It's kind of hard to appreciate it when it's hidden under a layer of extra skin that hangs off the bottom of it.

It's funny, peope always say how hard it is to lose weight after having a baby, but my goodness. I never thought it would be this hard. I'm just now, 10 months later, beginning to lose the weight like I should have in the beginning. I'm finally down to my early pregnancy weight. 10 more lbs, and I'll be my pre-pregnant weight, and just 5 lbs after that, I'll be at goal. I'm hoping to lose another 5-7 lbs before surgery, and let the surgery take off the rest. That way, I'll be at goal coming home from the hospital. HA! It's a nice thought, although I'm not going to get my hopes up too high.

Ok. Well, I just wanted to update since I hadn't in a long time. I'm still alive, life is wonderful, and I'm hella excited. I don't know how I'll be able to contain myself for the next 11 days :) :)

My insurance approved my tummy tuck!!!!!!! I'm scheduled for surgery July 14th. I can't wait!!!!

Just like last year, I forgot that yesterday was my real surgiversary. Oh well. Can you believe it? 4 years already? Doesn't even seem real. Sometimes I forgot I even had it done.

In reading my last post, I was whining about wanting to lost 20 lbs. I actually made it a goal to lose it by now. Hah. Yeah, still battling it. I recently learned that even 8 months after having a baby, my hormones are still way out of whack (hence all my crazy headaches)... so that could have something to do with this weight problem. I was on Atkins for about 3 weeks, and I lost 7 lbs, and came to a stand still.... no matter what I did. I figured, if I'm going to not lose weight, and even gain some on atkins... why not eat something worth it? So... I'm not on atkins anymore, and I've actually lost 2 lbs *rolls eyes*.

Aside from all that. 4 years! Wow. Had the surgery, got married, got a boob job, had a baby. I'd say my life is pretty fulfilling at the moment. I went in for a consult for a tummy tuck. They submitted the info to insurance to see if it would be covered, and I got declined. It's "cosmetic", they say. So... oh well. It'll cost me about $7,500.00 out of pocket... so whenever I'm ready to incur that debt, I'll go get it done. I'll probably wait a while though. That's really all that's left that I eventually want to have done. Overall, I'm pretty happy with myself.

I know I said I'd update with pics... but I don't have any at the moment... so, it'll have to wait for another day. But anyhoo.... Happy surgiversary to me!! :)