I can't believe the summer is over and I haven't even posted. Pitiful. Things are pretty much the same. I am at 146 and staying there. I have the looooose skin on my belly but my husband doesn't seem to mind. I don't have time to tell you all about my trip to Italy but let me just say it was wonderful. I wouldn't have been able to do it fat. There was alot of walking and climbing stairs. I mean I am still out of shape because I don't exercise (bad Sarah) so it was hard climbing all those steps to get to the bell towers and tops of churches but I NEVER EVER could have done it fat. The views in Florence and Milan were incredible. Venice...I can't say enough about Venice. San Marino was breathtaking. Verona was quaint. Piza!!! Now that tower really leans. If you ever get the chance, just go. It is well worth it. Take care....

I can't believe I didn't post at all in March. I am so glad that spring is finally here. I leave for Italy in 2 days and I am just going crazy with the details. I am down 107 lbs and wearing a size six. Is that nuts or what? I feel really good and have started exercising. I still have some of the dreaded belly fat (which sounds impossible since I am a size six but it's true). I am working on it. I finally figured out I deserve it all. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would weigh 147. NEVER NEVER NEVER. Now I say NEVER give up. Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars. More to come.

I am really tired of this winter. I want it to warm up and be sunny. I am ready to buy Spring clothes. I am all set to go on my vacation in 43 days. It just isn't getting here fast enough. CONGRATS TO SUE FOR MAKING IT THROUGH YOUR SURGERY. WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE, YOU BIG LOSER!!! I am down 107 lbs. I am feeling pretty good. I am still afraid sometimes that this weight will come back. I guess I have to live day by day. Pre-ops, hang in there. It can be a bumpy road but well worth it.

I am better now. I realized that I was totally obsessing about my weight. I was weighing myself 5 times per day. Yesterday I only weighed myself once. I have exercised twice this week. Which is 2 more times that I have done since I had surgery. I am trying to be kinder to myself. I still have the fat girl in my head...I am hoping to make friends. Still flabby...that hasn't changed...gonna have to live with it for the most part because I don't think I will have surgery to correct it. Trying to practice the self-love....let you know how that turns out. Take care all.....more to come...

I am having a weird day today. I am feeling fat when I know I am not. I am frustrated that I have only lost one pound since my last post. I did buy a size 8 (skin tight) jean today. That makes me feel a bit better. The truth is that whatever made me eat before is back with a vengence. I want to eat everything bad for me right now. Chips and cookies and pizza. Granted I can't eat the quantity that I did before but I need to eat better quality foods. I am tired because my diet is poor, I am not taking my vitamins and I am not exercising. I deserve better than this. What did I put myself through this big surgery just to fail now? I refuse to become the fat girl again but I am having a hard time breaking the cycle. I am so tired when I get home from work. To tired to exercise but I know if I don't exercise I am not ever going to have energy. Please don't get me wrong. I am very happy I had the surgery. I would do it again. I am just having a bad, hormonal day. For any of you that have suffered from depression and you know who you are, I am having a bad day. The weather is cold, the sky is gray. My joints hurt and I am in an overall fog. I know it will get better. I am going to plan a special day with my husband on Sunday. Shhh...he doesn't know so don't tell him. I don't really know how to surprise him but I will think of something. Maybe a neglige. Sounds good to me....probably good for both of us...LOL. Hang in there guys!! There are only two choices. Buckle under or buckle down. I have come to far to buckle under. More to come....