Posted this today on IN board- Emotional Eating on August 30, 2007 9:45 am
I posted this today in response to a pre-ops post about questions to ask yourself before surgery. Re-posting it here for anyone who wants to read.
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Your relationship with food, is an area that definately needs to be explored, before surgery. When I had my surgery St. V's classes focused on aftercare. No one ever mentioned that I may have emotional issues after. I never realized how much I used food as my "drug". I ate when I was happy, sad, frustrated, angry, stressed out , bored and especially at night when I couldn't sleep. I used food as an escape. The fact that I can't use food to cope with life, has been my biggest problem since surgery. People always said I was laid back, easy going, always helpful, never wanted confrontations. Well that was because I could eat it all away. Now I can't and I'm having to deal with issues that upset me, make me angry, stress me out. People that have known me for a long time, say I've changed. I tend to say what I think now, which doesn't go over well, when I've always been the "get along" kind of girl. I have had terrible issues with insomnia since surgery. I started to take ambien, and involuntarily got in my truck at 3:30 in the morning and hit a pole. No more ambien for me. I'm going to counseling now, have done it in the past, but now without food I have to learn new ways to cope, to handle stress. The weight loss part has been easy for me. I'm under goal, a "success" story. The emotional part has been hard. I look at before pictures of me. I was miserable because I was so heavy, but I was happy, life was good. Now, I'm proud of my weight loss and don't want to go back to the old self, but learning to live with the new self is hard. Again this is just me and my experience. I don't hear much about the emotional sides to WLS very often. I used to laugh when I heard people talking about transfer of addictions. I kind of did that with the Ambien. I am not taking anything to alter my mood or to help with insomnia now. I am facing all my "stuff" head on. I didn't realize I had any "stuff" to work on before surgery. I was so wrong. If anyone asks me if I've had any complications, I am truthful. I tell them "not pysically, but emotionally its been rough". I think its important that pre-ops know this. It isn't a "fun ride" all the time. If you deal with emotional eating get help before surgery. If your not sure if you do, start checking, become aware of when you eat and why. Would I do it all over? Some days I do think, man it was easier to live in a heavy body and not deal with life, but it wasn't fair to me, my family, or anyone I deal with. People are just going to have to learn to live with the new me, like it or not. I have to learn to live with the new me. The old easy going, helpful, do anything for anyone, Sarah is gone. The new " I need this, that is not o.k., stop, I don't want to hear all your problems, doesn't take crap from anyone" Sarah is here. This hits all areas of my life, friends, family, job. I have to find a happy medium. I'm working on it. My family has been really supportive, thank heaven for them. i couldn't have made it through this without them. Would I do it again? Yes