Okay, I realize it's only been a couple days since my last post, but I feel like this is important enough to warrant further discussion.

I've gotten started losing my 40 pounds. I went shopping today for the type of foods I gather are "losing weight" type foods. Dr. Oh told me no more sugar, but I wound up getting mostly fruit. However, I did vastly limit my purchase of fat, carbs, and most other "bad" stuff. I did cave, though, and pick up some chicken chow mein. Ohhh, it's going to be hard to give up Chinese food.

On that note, I've also decided to partially resume my vegetarian diet, i.e. no more red meat. This means no more red meat again, ever, because after the surgery, I guess it can kill you. Maybe that's melodramatic, but red meat is immoral and kind of disgusting when you think about it anyways, so cutting it out shouldn't be that big a problem.

I think I can do this... Or at least, I //think// I think I can do this. I just have to train myself to think about what I eat. All. The. Time. For the rest of my life. And also figure out when/where I can exercise where nobody can see me. I wonder if any gyms are open 24 hours? Sigh. Did I mention I wish I didn't have to do this?

P.S. One more item for my to-do list: take my "before" picture. SCARY.

Today was my first appointment with Dr. Oh. The consultation was brief but informative. I found out my weight for the first time in many many years today. I've always hated knowing my weight, so I never look at the scale when they weigh me at the doctor's. So it was with great reluctance that I glanced at the scale today: exactly 400 lbs. Ouch. But at least I know now, and I have a clear direction.

I went into the nurses office and was taken through the typical questions. "Smoke? No. Drink? No. Drugs? No. Pregnant? No. Allergies? No. High blood pressure? No. High cholesterol? No." Etc. etc. etc. She took my blood pressure and walked me through what Dr. Oh would be discussing.

While waiting for Dr. Oh, my dad and I were talking about the type of surgery I might want to get. As expected, he told me it would have to be my decision. Sometimes I wish people would just tell me what to do, haha.

Dr. Oh was very friendly and only made me feel a little uncomfortable. I think that was simply due to the fact that it's an uncomfortable topic for me, and my self-esteem is shot in general. Like I thought, he told me I was in the "very high" BMI range. He took me through the same list of questions (is it some rule that all doctors have to ask the same questions 91859080948 times?) and we started discussing options for which surgery I'd want to pick. Dr. Oh made some good suggestions, and I think I've settled on Proximal Gastric Bypass. I need to do a little more research, but it seems like the best option for my situation.

The doctor told me I need to lose 10% of my weight before surgery, or he's going to have to do an open procedure. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is. 40 pounds, though, is sounding more and more impossible as I think about it.

I guess I have practically the best insurance in the world for this, because they said I don't even have to get pre-approved, and they can schedule me as early as July. Has anyone else had experience with Blue Cross Blue Shield Federal?

They filled me in on the details of the scope procedure I have to have. It sounds unpleasant and I hope they'll knock me out cold for about nine days before and after the procedure. I'm a wimp.

As we were leaving the building, a kind man stopped us and warned us to call our insurance company anyways, because he was told the same thing (he didn't tell us what kind of insurance he had) and then insurance denied his claim. He's been working on this process for two years, and I could tell how frustrated he was.

So, in summary, the next items on my to-do list are:
• Call Blue Cross to make absolutely sure they're going to cover me.
• Schedule my scope so they can stare at my insides for a while
• Get started losing 40 pounds

I know we've come so far
But we've got so far to go.
I know the road seems long,
But it won't be long 'till it's time to go!