Brenda C.

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Having just returned from a trip that tested my resolve, I had to grade myself.  Sadly, I barely gave myself a passing grade. 

Many of us (if not all), need to deal with stress eating.  I found out some bad things about myself over my "Christmas Vacation,"  the main one is:  I do not suffer from Dumping Syndrome.  The same stupid, angry child's voice kept whispering - sometimes yelling -  to just eat!  This surgery I underwent is merely a tool, the rest is up to me.  If I cannot control my hurt inner child, I may as well have not gone through all that I have. 

My head is shaking in disapproval, but I am still typing away, in hopes that I will get my head out of my (well, you know), and show my strength and perseverance.  I am sure if you are reading this, you too can relate.  When I heard the comments, "Can you really eat that?  Are you sure you can eat that already?  Aren't you mad you don't have "Dumping"?  Don't you think you should slow down?"  I wanted to scream - and probably should have.  My own mother NEVER spoke to me like this, but here I was, wanting to crawl off into a dark corner & eat my feelings away.  All that goes through my head right now is that little angry girls voice, "Oh yeah?!  Well, I will eat WHATEVER I want!" 

I know better.  The new mantra:  Food is Fuel.  Food is not a Weapon.  I will not eat when I am Angry.  Being fat hurts me and only me.  Gentle eating is slow & with done with purpose - I will not eat when I am not aware.  Above all - I am doing this for ME!

Christmas was tough.  I am dealing with all the thoughts of failure, but ready to pick myself up and follow the plan.  I was good about getting all my supplements, drank all my water, got my protein, so I wasn't a complete failure.  Being able to eat while in a vehicle for thirteen hours has taught me to be more prepared.  I did pretty well, but I know I can (and will) do better.  New Years Eve is tomorrow, I will have a houseful and I will persevere!

May all of you have a GREAT New Year!
Brenda  : )~

I am working on baked yams at the moment - a sugar free version & hoping they come out tasty!  I have been scouring recipes the last few days for low calorie cookies - there are SO MANY out there!  I am narrowing it down to 4 - 6 low calorie versions, and I figure at least 2 - 4 of my classic recipes.  I have one that I am going to do two different ways - it is a swirl cookie made like a jelly roll, chilled til it is log-like, then sliced & baked -- one will be cinnamon, the other a cranberry concoction!  I have a large Ziploc in my freezer from a trip last month to Long Beach Washington, and dying to put them to good use!

I will be cooking with Splenda Brown Sugar for the first real time - on a large scale - so I will be posting how it goes!  I have tasted the yams after my initial boil - Mmmmm, they do taste about right!  I am toying with adding Toasted Marshmallow Torani - but maybe I will just do it to some, and taste test it!

My peanut butter cookies will be gluten free - made with peanut flour!  I am also trying to decide on an almond cookie - so many to choose from!!!  If only I had the patience to make meringues, not too mention what to do with my leftover yolks... Since I also invested in coconut flour - macaroons will be in my test kitchen!

If anyone knows any good - diet friendly - popcorn balls - PLEASE let me know!  I have one friend I am going to make the real deal for, he loves popcorn balls... I also have a trick, I put Dots (minus the black licorice ones) in my popcorn balls, for a fruity surprise! 

The Cookie Czar rides, again!  Merry Christmas to ALL!
Brenda  : )~

I was asked how did I know I had a hernia, so I will fill you in.

In January of 2007, I was really, really sick.  I had been nursing a bad gall bladder a few years at that point, ignoring it, as it only really hurt a day at a time, and I figured "no biggie."  Ummm, I am here to tell you that it is in fact a BIG biggie, don't be like me, the opposite of a hypochondriac, and ignore something just because it is only "a little inconvenient."  How sick was I?  I turned YELLOW.  I had sludge from the gall bladder plugging up the liver bile ducts, which is BAD, and leaves you jaundiced.

At that time, I had to have two procedures (as they called them), to return me to my pretty pink complexion, and stop all the pain I got maybe once every six months.  Thirteen days later, I had endoscopic work (through the mouth) to clean the bile ducts, and I had laproscopic work to remove the gall bladder.  I did what I was told, but ended up with an incisional hernia just above my belly button.  The poochy skin looked like an "Alien Baby," or so I thought, so that was it's name.

Having gone to six different weight loss surgery seminars, and researching on my own, I found that incisional hernias & hiatal hernias (I'll get into that in a second), can be repaired during weight loss surgery -- two birds, one stone.  My surgeon agreed that I had an incisional hernia and said he "would poke around inside," while I was getting my surgery.  One thing I did not expect was the big scar that turned into an open wound - ugh!

Okay, hiatal hernias - they are very common in overweight & obese people, and it is were the stomach has a tear, which allows acid to cause GERD (acid indigestion, etc.).  Before I get called out, this is a very dumbed down explanation.  I did not have one of those -- but I did have a gastric mass -- a benign tumor -- which necessitates additional surgical work when the surgeon is performing your weight loss surgery.

The fear of hernias - or tears in fascia - is that you could have larger tears and actually have your inerds poking out below the skin -- not a good thing!  I think I should have waited to have my Alien Baby repaired after I lost enough weight to see a plastic surgeon.  I am still hopeful that plastics will rid me of the ugly scar my former Alien Baby left me with.  When an incision is made, it is very common to have a minor hernia, mine was many inches -- not good.  The worst part is looking at my former cute belly button, it looks so sad, now.  Yes, I actually did like my belly button, maybe a little less after the appearance of the Alien Baby.

Do what your surgeon tells you, and DO NOT bear weight beyond your limits, and maybe YOU will NOT get an Alien Baby!
Brenda  : )~

For anyone who doesn't already know, I had an abdominal hernia repair, so I had an incision from inside the upper part of my belly button going up about three - four inches.  Why am I bringing this up?  I now have an open wound in the belly button that needs twice a day care (aside from changing the dressing) that entails packing the wound -- you can say it, Eeeeewwww!

The seroma is done, but I still have this stupid hole to care for, and the reason I am writing this is to give EVERYONE advice: Don't bend too much & do NOT carry anything heavier than five pounds until your doctor approves you to!

Learn from my advice, or you will have to spend time & money on supplies, or worse.  I have taken antibiotics twice since my surgery, which in itself tastes really bad (I had to open the gel caps & pour the contents on my tongue), and can leave you vulnerable (if you're a female) to some "other" nasties.  Lots of probiotics and fluids to the rescue!

On the positive side of things, I do not have to carry my laundry basket up & down the stairs - insert grin here!  I saw the Nurse Practitioner on Friday, she says things are looking good with the wound, for which I asked: So, is there any chance this thing will be done before February?  Or, is saltwater a bad thing - if this wound isn't all healed?  The guy fixing the copier just snickered, the nurses laughed, and I stood there saying that there is no way I will go without snorkeling!  If the jelly fish I get stung by doesn't keep me out of the water, no silly little (big) hole in my belly button will keep me out of the water!

From the mood of this posting, I hope you are getting that I am actually having a pretty good time.  For anyone worried about surgery, don't.  Just do what your doctor tells you, and make sure you (as Hulk Hogan used to say) Take your vitamins! 

Brenda  : )~

I hate using text-ease, but, OMG!  I just discovered peanut flour, which is left over after processing the oil out of peanuts, and it is FAB-U-LOUS!  Just 100 calories per 1/4 cup, my mind wanders to all the great stuff I will back with it!   Add just a two tablespoons in a protein shake (50 calories - 4 grams protein) - adding protein without all the fat - it tastes GREAT!  So far, I bought my first batch at Trader Joe's, but I will look around for price point purchasing.

Trader Joe's also tempted me (and won) with Better Than Peanut Butter (I still want to try the one that uses flax seed & flax seed oil), shaking my fist...  The taste of peanut butter without the icky sweetness of sugar free syrup - less calories, added protein, Ooooo Weeeee, Baby!

Okay, so I finally bought Fage -- pronounced "Fa - Eeh" - NOT pronounced like my nutritionist stated -- and I got some Trader Joe's zero fat Greek Yogurt, pretty tasty so far.  I had been using Oikos, which is all right, but I admit the 300 calorie low fat honey is amazing -- but I haven't eaten it often, as I rank it in the Ben & Jerry's territory (wink wink).  I may play around with culturing my own Greek Style Yogurt -- damn if the Internet isn't helpful?!

I will be playing around with Gastric Friendly cookies... The Cookie Czar rides again....
Brenda  : )~

One of my favorite drinks of all time is V8, but alas, the original flavor has some scary sodium levels.  Walking into my Primary Doc's office, she spotted a V8 in my bag, "Have you ever looked at the amount of sodium in there?  Brenda, you have got to promise me to start buying Low Sodium V8..."

Okay, so a lot of the time I am busy finding ways around the rules.  Not necessarily a good thing, but I guess I am just one of those "question authority" types.  I went to the store, looked at the two V8 cans side by side and shook my head.  If I recall - I do not drink regular V8 anymore - it had 25 percent of the recommended allowance of sodium -- for THE DAY -- in one 12 ounce can.  YIKES!  Then, the Low Sodium V8 -- 200mg sodium, or eight percent of the recommended daily allowance -- no question, I now stock the Low Sodium V8 in my pantry.

Why did this silly sounding subject come up?  I am blissfully sipping my Low Sodium V8 & looking at the label... Potassium - 33 percent of your daily recommended allowance?!  Three grams of protein?!  Woopity-doo-da!!!  But, here is my cautionary word:  Don't let the first can or two make you wish for the original V8, after a few cans, you will probably crave this wonderful elixir like I do -- assuming you have a taste for this kind of thing.

I cannot say if I have looked too closely at Low Sodium V8 being a recommended drink for Gastric Bypass Patients, but dang, if that isn't some pretty good numbers?!  Before I hear from folks saying, "But what about the carbs...?"  Fine.  Three grams of fiber bring the carb number down to 12 grams, making the carbs in one 12 ounce can four percent of the recommended... But, do not overlook the potassium & protein!

Do you realize how long it takes to sip a 12 ounce can of V8, talk about a cheap date?!!!
Brenda  : )~

I had someone ask me about what I am eating - it is still soft/pureed foods, but I was also given the "okay" to well chewed chicken -- the 25 - 30 count chewing.  There are many ways to be creative with what you can eat, I found this out when my daughter had jaw surgery & was tired of protein shakes!  If it can be squeezed through a turkey baster, it is well pureed!  Not that I want this, but my daughter actually had me blend chili and mac & cheese (not together)!  Pealed pear slices have been a yummy addition, just make sure to limit how much due to the sugar content.

Things have been going very well, my only issue is that my hernia wound is still an open wound, which is keeping me from swimming.  When I go walking, I am very aware of my body, making sure that I do not overwork my body -- listen to your body!  I am still measuring my foods, making sure I do not stretch my wee pouch, but I have definitely a good eye.   I have eaten out with friends, and it has not been an issue so far.  If you do your homework, eat your protein, stay prudent on the starches, it isn't hard.  Luckily, many restaurants offer "light" menus - so you do not have to feel funny ordering off the kids menu.  The hard part for me is not drinking -- which I found out you really cannot do!  No, I did not cause anything bad, but I got an air bubble that made me leave the table to burp!  Lesson learned.

The craving for sweets has not been an issue, not sure if it is just that I am lucky or related to the changes in my body.  I have a reputation of being the "Cookie Czar" during the Holidays, so I have been doing LOTS of searching for recipes that are friendly to anyones dietary issues. 

Making the changes to be successful really aren't as hard as one would think.  If you can do a little deconstructing at the table, it makes staying on track easy!  Happy Holidays, and don't think of food as something you can never have, it just takes a little extra diligence to make the right choices.

B  : )~

This last few days I spent in what could best be called a Bavarian Christmas Wonderland, Leavenworth, Washington.  Last year at this time when I went, I was out of breath quite a bit, and reluctant to climb a flight of stairs to see the Nutcracker Museum.  This year, I was more nimble, went up and down many streets, and climbed stairs.  I still get tired as I am still recovering, but considering my physical ability just one year later, I am seeing a brighter future!

I am finding so few problems with eating, that I am actually wondering why so many complain about having to "give up" certain eating habits/foods.  This is really been much easier than I had expected, so in a way, I do regret (a little) not doing this sooner.  The weight really does feel like it is being lifted, at the sake of sounding corny! 

As soon as I am given the release back to swim -- I am still healing with the hernia incision -- I plan to get back to my laps.  Looking forward to so many other activities I have put on hold, the feeling of being captive in my body, will soon be over.

Maybe the next trip to Leavenworth will include some skiing... Oh, happy thoughts!
B  : )~