2500 Meters = 1.55342798 Miles...

Mar 25, 2011

I have been swimming every day this week, and it made me wonder, how far am I really swimming?  I usually do 100 lengths of 25 meters, so doing the math...2500 Meters = 1.55342798 Miles.  Seeing the distance in black and white is really motivating me, wow.

Since I couldn't find an affordable waterproof case for my Gen4 iPod Shuffle, I actually purchased a waterproof MP3 player, and now cannot wait until Monday to see if the earphones will actually keep the water out of my ears!  Swimming for over an hour a day - some days closer to two hours, can really get boring.  I think having music to keep me moving.

My weight loss isn't suddenly getting better, but I am out of my stall.  I have dropped two more pounds, and happy about it.  Pushing my swimming has really been great.  It isn't as painful as walking, and I get to start daydreaming of the swimsuits that used to fit - finally fitting!  My speed may not be up there with some of the other swimmers, but I am pretty sure I am doing more distance.  Happy little sea turtle, that's me!  I just hope all this work will help me rid myself of the dreaded arm "wings."

Anyhow, if you think you cannot face a public pool at your current size, I started swimming at the Aquatic Center back when I was still 474 pounds.  Ha ha, now I am a "trim" 372...  I am wearing a size 26 swimsuit, and working my way down to my smaller suits.  Just wait until I pull my daughter's bicycle out of the garage - and I will ride in public!  Sure, it may be hard to face the world when you are fat, but if you don't, it will be that much harder reaching your goals.  Activity is necessary to win this battle...

Brenda  : )~


Wishful Thinking!


12 comments

It's Been a YEAR, Here on OH...

Mar 19, 2011

Wow, I just realized that I need to celebrate my time here on Obesity Help, one whole year!  In that time, I have had ups & downs, but it has been a good year.  It took me eight months to get my surgery, so if you are just starting out, be patient.  In the year that I have been on OH, I have learned so many things, met a lot of people, and found cheap therapy through blogging.

How much weight have I lost?  I guess I could go weigh myself, but I have surpassed one hundred pounds - in a years time (pre & post surgery).  For anyone with a high BMI, let me tell you that the day I signed onto Obesity Help, I had a BMI of 74.  With work and a (mostly) positive attitude, I am under 59 BMI, and on my way to normalcy!  My daughter actually said the best thing, "Mom, you look like a normal fat person!"  It may sound harsh, but she meant it in a good way.  No longer am I HUGE, just mildly large!  I have met two of my 23 goals: Stop needing my extender belt in my truck; Fit in a booth at a restaurant.  Here's to meeting more of my goals.

Happy health to me!  It's one year from the beginning of this journey, and I am looking forward to the next year.  Many have lost more than me in a year, that's cool.  I am now four months out of surgery, and have lost the bulk of my one hundred pounds in that time.  So, when your surgeon asks you to lose ten percent of your weight, don't worry, if I did it, so can you.  I have had some complications (nothing serious), which kept me from exercising, but I am back to swimming a mile.  With the exercise, I am hoping to get my journey going in high gear.

I can climb the stairs in my home (I have two flights) without being winded.  What a difference a year and one hundred pounds makes!

Brenda : )~
7 comments

Beef Jerky in my Oven...

Mar 19, 2011

The title says it!  I have been buying packaged jerky - from beef to turkey, even pork - and paid dearly for it. So, I did some research, even found out what the USDA says is the best way to make safe jerky, and made some.

Flavor is important, so I will continue to play around with my marinade.  I used London Broil - very lean, less work for me having to trim my meat.  Now, here's the scoop: USDA recommends that you bring beef up to 160 degrees Fahrenheit, then you can drop the temperature down to 130 - 140 - in your oven.  Turkey/poultry, you should bring up to 165 degrees Fahrenheit, then continue to dry at 130 - 140.

Do you need a dehydrator?  NOPE.  Do you need a smoker? NOPE.  I did my jerky in my oven, on cooling racks (lets the air get top to bottom, and drips the juices), and boy was it easy!  Slice your meat against the grain, as thinly as you like - the meat loses about 2/3 of its juices.  Want a smokey flavor?  Buy a bottle of liquid smoke (also an important ingredient if you want to try making Kahlua Pork).  I put the meat in a Ziplock Bag to marinade in the refrigerator for a day - next time it may be longer.  I laid the meat on the cooling racks, put course ground pepper on the top (when I flipped it, I added more), and stuck the meat in the oven for an hour.  Checked it, flipped it, continued to cook for five hours.  I am letting the jerky "rest" on paper plates before I store it.

Cheap eats, that's what makes me smile!  Play around with your spices, and see what you like!  I had some pork jerky in Hawaii, so that will be on my list of "gotta make that!"  Who says you have to pay out the ear for jerky?
Brenda  : )~

10 comments

Left to my Own Devices...

Mar 15, 2011

I am spending a quiet week mostly alone.  My sweetie had to make a trip to California for his grandfather, so other than the kitties & my kiddie, I am being left to my own devices.  My daughter is an older teen, so it is almost like being alone.

For those of you who do not know what "head hunger" is, I would like to give you a brief explanation: It is when you are not physically hungry, but you still have the need/urge to eat.  Basically, it isn't real hunger, it is all in our head.  For anyone who has dealt with obesity, you may not have considered "am I really hungry, or just grazing?"  Last night, I caught myself grazing, and had to ask, "REALLY?!"  I haven't been "really" hungry very much since surgery, mainly because I try to stay on top of my eating, and have some type of nutrition every two hours.  By eating less more often, you should never have real hunger, which is our enemy.  If you wait until you are hungry, famished, starving, the mind shuts off, and I know I go into thoughtless eating - just shoveling it in.  Don't let this happen to you.

Emotions can trigger bad behavior, and being on "my own" is a good test to gage my triggers.  Last month I was doing great, able to say "no" to snacks, until... The spoiled little kid in me started whispering, "You should be able to have some, too!"  I caught myself trying a bite or two of something, which one or two cannot be bad.  Until I caught myself with my fingers in the candy bag pulling out a handful, I said to myself, "How many calories are these, anyhow?"  Reality can be rude, but sometimes it is the best thing to face.  I flipped over the bag, read the serving size, and the candy went back into the bag.  Last night I actually was having some animal crackers.  Before I knew it, I had had a second handful, and then close to adding a third -- good thing my hands are small.  I stopped myself, started having the internal dialog we've all had, and actually put the crackers back into the bag.  Just snacking for taste or crunch, or whatever reason we give isn't good enough.  I was watching television, and I really wasn't hungry.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try to focus on the next obstacle.  It is a new day, I am being proactive, and getting my work done.  I am sipping on my Low Sodium V8 (Man, I wish Campbell's would ask me to be their spokeswoman!) and deciding how to feed my body - in a healthy manner.  Making sure I get my water, my vitamins and supplements, my protein, and the necessary calories.  Yes, we do need calories, but if you count them, make them count!  My movement goals are on target, and pushing a little more everyday.  Being "there" for myself is probably the hardest thing I have to remind myself to do.  I often joke about being "self amusing," but I never really talk about being "self supporting".  I wake up with me, everyday, and frankly, spend more time with me, than anyone else, so I better like who I am hanging around with!

Getting surgery may help us with many things relating to food, but it does not shut off the emotions.  When I tell people to get their head as well as their body ready for surgery, it is because I have seen so many friends rely on the surgery being the "fix" to all their problems.  I do not have a therapist right now, wish I did, so I rely on myself to get me through things like head hunger.  If I knew why I do the things I do, I doubt I would be this obese.  Fixing the spoiled little kid who taunts me with, "Everyone else gets to..." isn't easy, but I am getting there.  Food is fuel, it is not an award, it is not comfort, it is fuel.   I think I may need to add an internal question to my daily activity:  Is my head on straight?

Remember to talk to the "spoiled little kid" in your head, and maybe you won't have as much trouble with head hunger!
Brenda  : )~


7 comments

In Search of Vitamin D...

Mar 12, 2011

After doing my Rain Dance, yesterday - you know, washing my vehicles - it is finally sunny in Seattle!  It rained last night, and all the first half of today, so I am just chuckling about my neighbors possible thoughts:  I told you so!  At least the vehicle was clean, so it is still clean, just wet.

I got my test results yesterday from my three month check up, and still puzzling over how I could be deficient in D2 yet sufficient in D3 - those pesky fat soluble vitamins!  Did you know Vitamin D is the ONLY vitamin that is converted into a hormone?  No kidding!  So, in trying to decipher why my labs were as they are, I find D2 is plant based, D3 is animal based, and I still do not know how one can be fine while the other isn't.  More studying.  My B12 is high, yet Iron was a little low -- I told both docs it was my menses, and I STOPPED taking Iron for a few days because of cramps.  It was suggested (in print) that I retake the tests in 6 - 8 weeks -- time to study.

Blood is a fascinating substance!  My mother used to tell me that when I would wince getting blood drawn.  Hey, I was 6 at the time the phlebotomist was playing the violin on me, so I had a few issues!  My family gene pool, and my obesity, led to LOTS of blood tests growing up.  I still wonder why if my mom kept saying how much she liked blood, why she never learned how to be a lab technician, oh well.  All my numbers were fabulous, well except two.  But I kind of already explained the Iron issue (in my head it makes sense).  

The funniest thing I have to share today is my need to have crab!  I am not one of those folks easily distracted by food cravings, but I have had crab on my brain for days, so my body must know something I don't.  Oh, another interesting thing I read - mushrooms carry D2 - and guess who bought some the other day?  Cravings can be cues, and it also can explain deficiencies - chewing ice, eating dirt, often is a symptom of Iron deficiency.  No, I haven't been eating dirt or ice, lately!

My walking yesterday resulted in pain last night and today.  I really hate my foot.  The pain led me to pain relief, so I played Russian Roulette with my constipation, and lost.  Why does it have to be so complected?  I don't like pain, but I also don't like constipation - how does one win?  More studying!  I figure losing weight should give me more pain relief, but I am almost thinking it is the opposite.  The happier I am at losing, the more active I want to be.  The more active I am, the more pain I have.  Ugh.  So if you see a brightly colored fat chick, whistling while limping, in the Seattle Area, say "hello," as it is probably me!  Pink - that was the color I ended up choosing, yesterday!  Who knows, maybe I will pull the bright yellow coat I made (the lapel is blue rubber duckies), and show the world I am the brightest object other than the sun.

Oh, another interesting fact I learned about Vitamin D -- dark skinned people have a harder time getting D through ultra violet -- SUNSHINE -- rays.  I did not consider that!  I am so fair skinned, I joke I am usually one of three colors throughout the year:  White, Pink, APPALOOSA.  Man, do I freckle!  So, I guess my skin which I used to shrug over (I really don't tan well) is actually a good thing - considering I am living in an area the weather forecasters refer to overcast days as: Filtered Sunlight!  Hmmm, genetics, I am second generation American on Dad's side - imagine that?! Northern Ireland has SIMILAR weather as Seattle (groan).

Maybe I like puzzles too much?  I think I am an information junky, is that a bad thing?!  The Internet is the worst thing for an information junky - too much information, and so hard to rely on any one source.  Am I just of an age that I miss the old Encyclopedia & Reference Section at the Library?  Books, yes, kids, they used to be the main source of information (I feel old...)  My spirits are up, I am on the prowl for CRAB LEGS, and looking forward to starting yet a few more projects...

Stay Positive!
Brenda : ) ~


7 comments

What Color Should I Wear, Tomorrow...?

Mar 10, 2011

Now, I get the concept of the 12 Step Program, I just don't really know the steps involved.  I was just sitting here, fighting a "blue" moment when it dawned on me: I am SOBER.

My thoughts earlier went to a stupid bag of chips.  Yes, I am honest and tend to say what is on my mind.  Doritos has a new flavor, and I have tried it, and really liked it.  Lucky for me I am sober, ha ha!  "I wonder if anyone opened the bag of Doritos, yet?"  I didn't go lumbering off to the pantry to check, so I guess that this is a moment to reflect on.  I know I am feeling blue, for no real particular reason, but instead of feeding my emotions, I am writing them out.  Recognizing the problem is a... first... step?! 

My weight is here because I ate too much.  I cannot blame every inch on heredity, metabolism, so I guess that is another step... Two?  Acknowledgment.  After having my stomach reduced to a wee pouch, I really cannot fill it to the degree I had just three months ago.  Lucky for me, my "triggers" don't work the same way they used to!  I can think about food - sometimes bad food (evil Doritos!) - but I usually don't have the "urge" to eat.  Man, I hope this feeling lasts, because I know what I used to be like in this kind of mood!

Don't get me wrong, I was not someone who ate junk food, drove through fast food restaurants, but even healthy choices can be bad choices, if not made in moderation.  Hmmm, moderation - maybe another step?  When my mind is not in a happy place, I know I have a tendency to think, "Wonder what is in the kitchen?"  So, I am happy that I am not defaulting to bad habits!

My day had a couple of hiccups, so I get that I may be down for those reasons.  What really bugs me is this: Why can a normal day leave me feeling like I am in the dumps?  I may know the answer, so I will just say, "I'll take hormones for a thousand, Alex...."  "What is, I think my body is releasing too much estrogen out of my fat cells, and I cannot keep up?"  Trying to be rational usual saves me from grazing.  If it isn't hormones, no biggie!  I doubt my hormones will take offense for me singling them out to blame for my mood...

Anyhow, why am I writing this for the world to see?  Mainly because, I love to tell others to "Stay Positive!" and want you to see that even a positive person has a bad day once in a while.  My day hasn't been some terrible tragedy, just that I am a little "blue".  I just made another silly connection:  I have been wearing the color blue, three days in a row.  Tomorrow, I choose a different color!  I am not being silly, just figure I need a change of pace.

Any suggestions on which color to wear?
Brenda : )~
15 comments

Staring at My Scale...

Mar 09, 2011

I just chuckled this morning.  I have been staring at a scale that would not move for almost a week now.  Before anyone says it, I know! I know! Don't weigh yourself daily - insert my frustrated smile here.

There has been an ongoing joke in my house, that I need to run upstairs to weigh myself, when the long awaited bowel movement finally gets here!  Ewww, I just had a Peanuts Cartoon Special run through my head:  "Look Charlie Brown, it's the Great Brown Movement!"  Sorry, I tend to share a little too much.  Well, the awaited event finally happened yesterday afternoon, and no, I did not run upstairs.  I waited to weigh myself right before my nightly shower - in full clothing (which weighed in at SIX POUNDS!) then full nude.  WHAT?!  I still did not see my scale budge, but figured I wasn't going to obsess (much) about it.

This morning, I was lazy, and only left the warmth of bed to go to the bathroom.  I shrugged, pulled out the cruel scale, and just laughed.  How in the world could I have lost two pounds over night?!  Okay, there must be some leprechaun Tom-foolery at hand, as all I did this morning was urinate.  Announcing my two pound scale adjustment (I weighed three times to be sure), I was then told, "Yeah, well did you see how much of the blankets you had on YOUR side of the FLOOR?!"  Hmmm, me a blanket hog?  Okay, you got me, I hate the cold weather in Seattle!  Could I really have been sweating off my pounds in bed?  Who cares?!

My love/hate relationship with my scale will continue.  At least I know my scale loves me more than the one at one of my support groups!  The scale at home matches both of my doctors office scales, yet the one at the support group was so cruel & said I weigh eight extra pounds.  Note to self:  Don't give a damn; you can always go home & snuggle up to your "home" scale...

Back to the Peanuts Special, I have decided that one of my daily snacks has to be half a cup of Fiber One.  Dang it, I hate missing out on the "daily event" most everyone gets - don't make me hurt you if you have them more than once a day!  With all things, I will try to stay positive, smile at NSV (Non Scale Victories), and keep on keeping on. Last night I actually could have sneaked a Hershey's Kiss, but decided not only would my breath rat me out, it would be a stupid, childish move.  So see, if I can grow up and behave like an adult (laughter fills my immature mind), so can you!

Stop letting your scale dictate the way your day goes.  It isn't easy, but you will have a better day!  Oh, and I finally took measurements - woo hoo, I have lost so many inches, I hope that they don't find anyone else!
Brenda : )~
13 comments

The Smell of Fresh Baked Cookies Doesn't Bother Me...

Mar 03, 2011

Today, I did something that many considering surgery worry they cannot do after surgery... I baked cookies for my family, and didn't have a need or an urge to EAT any!

I have been having some great conversations with folks worrying what life will be like, "AFTER SURGERY..."  No, it isn't some punishment that you will have to endure.  You will not die from having cravings that you cannot act on.  You WILL have a better relationship with food, and portion control.

When I was asked yesterday to bake cookies, I didn't even wince.  The best thing, when I was getting all my ingredients together, I decided to make a SMALL batch, instead of my usual four dozen.  My daughter looked a little hurt, but I told her two dozen is enough, and I would make more, when needed.  You wanna hear the best part?  I didn't even lick the bowl!

Having read an email today from a friend who just got her surgery date, that she was having some treats now, before she will never be able to have them again.  I enjoyed writing her back, telling her that it isn't that she will never be able to eat those things again, it is that she won't be able to eat AS MUCH as she did.  I am far from being the Kitchen Nazi, and realize that from time to time, I will have some food NOT on my diet.  The difference in me now is, I can have some - not a huge serving, and I will know what the nutrition is and make an educated decision as to how much I can have.  It really is all about math.  If you do not already have a food journal, start one.

The whole thing is knowing what we are doing to ourselves.  Not going through life eating with blinders on.  Raising my hand, I can now admit that I had issues with food.  The amount and frankly the quality of my decisions.  If you are lucky enough to live in a State that requires restaurants to list the nutrition - STUDY THE MENU!  After surgery, I do not have the cravings I used to have, and I have LOTS of leftovers to eat later.  This isn't deprivation, this is re-education (or for some of us, an education), and a chance to eat like normal people do.  Put your fork down between every bite, it really works!

For those of you worrying about "Life After Surgery," it really isn't some terrible torture, and you will (hopefully) be thankful you did it.  My life isn't so different from before.  Well, excluding the need to change my wardrobe.  Losing weight is wonderful, you finally fit into those "thin" clothes in the closet!  Oh, and feeling more energetic.  Yes, it is a terrible thing to now FEEL like cleaning house, because you can!  Getting off medications is so terrible, too!  All the money you get to save, what a terrible burden.  I think the worst part of "After Surgery" is actually being in control of my emotions.  I used to be an emotional eater, and maybe it is too early to say this, but I really do not feel the need to pick up a cookie when I am having a bad day.

Brenda  : )~
13 comments

Three Month Followup...

Mar 01, 2011

I saw both my surgeon and primary doctors yesterday, with some mixed results.  Sixty-three pounds has been lost in my first three months - bringing my total weight loss just below one hundred pounds - but before I get to celebrate, I should have lost a higher percentage in my first three months.  Either way, my primary doctor was thrilled by my results.

Most Gastric Bypass patients lose the majority of their weight in the first three months - key word, MOST.  My circumstances are a little different from others starting out with a BMI well above 50, as I was not allowed to exercise most of the three months after surgery (my blog tells the tale of a seroma and wound caused by it).  I am still not allowed back in a pool, but may be given a release as soon as tomorrow - I have to meet a wound specialist to say I am healed enough, or what needs to be done to call me "healed".  Trust me, there is nothing more frustrating than to drop a large amount of weight, and being told to "take it easy".  My plans of joining the gym at the medical center are on hold, until I get green lighted.

In the meantime, I am happy to use my resistance bands, climb the two flights of stairs in my home, and try to keep my walking to a daily routine.  Two and a half miles - with hills - is nothing to sneeze at.  Oh, and I did get both a high five and a look of disapproval when I announced I did indeed swim in the surf when I was in Hawaii!  Stupid wound...

My blood pressure is perfect, my lungs clear with fabulous capacity, and my heart was happy to sing to both doctors.  The blood draw was ridiculous - I felt like I was donating for a blood transfusion - but looking forward to hearing my initial numbers.  My hair isn't falling out, so I must be doing something right.

Reality has hit, I am home to Winter in Seattle, but looking forward to schlepping down to the gym for some release!  Having left temperatures of 80+ degrees for below freezing was cruel, but it gives me more reason to keep active - or I may freeze.  Doesn't Spring usually arrive sometime in March?  Here's looking toward Spring!

Stay positive, and do not dwell on the numbers.  Yes, I have a lot to celebrate about, and yes I have some things to improve on.  Staying positive is what will bring me the numbers I am not dwelling on...

Brenda  : )~
8 comments

About Me
38.8
BMI
RNY
Surgery
11/16/2010
Surgery Date
Mar 16, 2010
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