Goal! I'm not talking about the Stanley Cup...

May 21, 2011

Goal!  I knew I would get to my first post surgery weight goal by this weekend, it took a lot of restraint not to weigh myself last night.  Being a slave to the scale is the worst thing ever!  I try hard to only check every three days or so, unless I am close to a goal.  On Monday, I saw my surgeon and realized I was just a few days away from my first of many goals, so I was excited on Thursday to announce at my Support Group meeting that I was only two pounds away from this weight goal.

For those of you who are starting around 350 pounds, I just got to that weight.  It is hard to fathom I would get so excited over weighing 350 pounds, but considering where I started, it is a great milestone.  This got me thinking this morning, the most weight I have lost in the past was 135 pounds, I am just 11 pounds away from losing 135 pounds, so I am very excited.  When I lost my last highest amount of weight, it was emotionally hard for me.  Prior to that, the most I had ever lost was 90 pounds, so when I was told by my Nurse Practitioner at that time, "Brenda, next week you will be at 100 pounds lost!"  Something broke inside of me.  The very next week I showed up with a gain.  Followed by two more gains, it took a heart to heart to figure out it was an emotional issue for me.

Facing the fact that I have been anywhere from overweight to severely morbidly obese all of my life, I hate to think the weight is somehow a part of my identity.  None of my current, local friends have ever seen me at this weight, which is something I have to get used to.  As an adult, the smallest size I ever wore was a size 14.  Currently I am wearing a 30 on the bottom and a 24 on the top.  When my bottom half gets to a size 24, I know I will be one happy (smaller) fat chick.

Things I really dig about losing weight: Having the seat in my truck sitting straight up - not reclined - and looking down to see INCHES between me & the steering wheel.  When I am sitting on my lawn and pulling weeds, not having to roll over & pull myself to a standing position, that is very cool.  When I am swimming, I have to adjust my swimsuit, because it is loose and I need a smaller size.  Hearing my daughter say, "Mom, you are just a regular fat chick, now!"  As opposed to being super morbidly obese - just being fat sounds a whole lot better!  Going to the movie theater, and being able to pull both arms down & fitting - barely, but I fit!  Such simple things most of us take for granted.  Oh, and a favorite thing I dig about losing weight, getting to mark off another goal completed!

Brenda  : )~

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