Brenda C.

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Well, the good news is the surgeon says my panneculectomy is needed, and will be covered, at my current size.  The bad news, he says his current hospital (he left a five state trauma hospital in Seattle for the smaller one I see my primary doc at) cannot accommodate someone with my needs.  Then the good news sways back in, the hospital where I had my WLS is also the NEXT BEST in the area, considering the surgeon who would have been THE best, just retired - argh.  So, another referral, and I should be closer to my surgery.

Folks still in a HIGH BMI range (I am just below 50) can actually have the excess skin removed, but there are other factors to consider.  Why this surgeon said he wouldn't take my (or ANY other panneculectomies) has to do with the recovery process.  He told me people needing such extreme work, are on the unit for a minimum of two weeks - longer if needed.  The hospital we was at also deals with extreme burn cases - remember I said it was a five state trauma hospital - well, they were the best of the best for what I am needing.

Here is another thing to consider, if your hospital is a Center of Excellence, there is most likely a Plastics Department who has worked with many others LIKE US.  When he brought up Virginia Mason, I said, "Oh, that is where my surgery was..." He told me to continue my search with them.  My one year follow up with my bariatric surgeon is in November, but on Monday, I will be calling their office for a referral to plastics within their network - tada!

I brought in many before photos, and the surgeon raised his eyebrows and said if he didn't know better, "I would have thought you were two different people!"  Yes, he agrees, I have literally swam my ass off!  This is why I need to get the panneculectomy sooner than later -- the weight is causing pain in my back.  Sigh.  Oh, and he told me "No charge for the visit!"  Woo hoo!

So, in a way, this isn't much news, but I actually faced something that I was afraid to do -- mainly, the being told an outright "no".  The surgeon was VERY nice, and says I have the right attitude.  See, being POSITIVE is the way to be!

I will update my next visit to the plastic surgeon, so stay tuned for more news!
Brenda : )~

If you heard my whiny voice, you interpreted the title correctly!  Friends of mine know how I am, I will yell for the town villagers to bring their torches if I suspect you may have a cold... Okay, too dramatic?  Yesterday, I woke up feeling like I was coming down with something, and my left eye was still irritated from the day before, but I put my swimsuit on with the intention of swimming.  Life happened, and I did not swim yesterday, but I did want to make a point - one that I hope will help some of you who follow my journey.

Just because you feel a little under the weather, you should still stay the course with your exercise routine.  One of the best things I learned in the sixth grade was that it takes three weeks to make or break a habit.  How does this work, you may ask?  If you do something consistently for three weeks, it becomes a new habit - and it is now a facet or your daily life.  Some may argue the days, but my teacher said three weeks, so I stick to the 21 days that comprise a three week period.  What happens if I miss a day, Brenda?  I hate to say it, but you start over.  But look at it this way -- you want this to become a daily part of your life - so are you really starting over?  Try this, at least it works for me, and I am a LOT older than my sixth grade self!

So, I already admitted I did not swim yesterday, but I am dressed & ready to go today!  I have been working on my goals, swimming has been one of them.  I am a total cheap skate, another thing I will freely admit, so I do not like wasting any of my swim membership fees!  Because I know I am a cheap skate, it helps me stay motivated to a certain degree -- I hate wasting money on something I will not use.  Sure, I could say "I'll go tomorrow..." but the reality is this, "Hmm, if I don't go today, that is like wasting X amount of dollars...NOPE!"  Don't even ask how I negotiate an auto purchase, I have been offered JOBS after getting the deal I want!  My goal to finish the year out is to have swam 500 miles.  As of Monday I was already 356 miles this year, leaving 144 to go.  Am I getting my money's worth for my swim pass?  YES, I am!

Yesterday, I still did LOTS physically, just not swimming.  But I will probably spend extra time in the pool today, as I do easily guilt myself into such things!  My boyfriend laughed at me last week when I told how I accidentally finally made my goal of swimming 5000 meters in less than two hours, "I finished 2500 meters, looked at the clock, I was way faster than I expected, so I figured what's 2500 more meters?"  Let me tell you, at lap 170 or so I was already questioning my sanity!  By lap 190 I was having to remind myself how far I came & not to waste the last 190 laps!  If you haven't already guessed, I have LOTS of conversations in my head -- all just me, no other personalities -- worry not!  The best cheerleader I have is me, the worst critic I have is again, me.  The best part of my conversations with myself, I always win!

Today I still feel less than perfect, but I am going to do my swim.  No, I am not starting over with my make it/break it habit of three weeks, as swimming really is a daily event in my life.  Do not let anything - well, illness can - get in the way of your life.  Exercise is a big part of my life, as I have always been big -- Ooooo, bad one!  Seriously, I have always been an active person, so when I was at my highest weight, I was coming up with reasons not to do many things.  Do not let you talk you out of doing yourself a favor!!!  The one person you spend the most time with is YOU, so you better get along with the real you.

Stay positive, and get active!
Brenda : )~

As I sit here, feeling almost too exhausted to drink from my water bottle, only one other human on the face of this planet knows my latest feat of super human endurance -- yeah, a little dramatic, but come on, give a girl something to party about!  Earlier this year I started really bumping up my swimming, and I am keeping track - today makes miles swam: 351 - but ONE GOAL seemed to elude me, sigh!  I vowed I would break 5000 meters in under two hours by end of Summer, and seeing as tomorrow is the First Day of Autumn (and my birthday!), I did it!!!

For all you out there trying and not seeing a particular goal within your reach, I want to tell you this particular goal was one of my hardest, and I'll admit, won't be done again for at least a few days (ha ha, or more).  When I started this journey, I could swim 500 meters, with breaks.  It has taken me nine months to finally get to this very point, and today, one hour and fifty-five minutes - without taking a water break - I finally was able to slay my dragon!  It takes time, a whole lot of patience, and of course believe that YOU can do anything you set your mind to -- maybe not right away, but with time & practice, you will get there, too!

I was kind of bummed no one was at the reception desk after I showered & drank my Low Sodium V8, so I had to wait until I got to my truck to send a text message to one of my favorite people in the world, and say "Looks like this old dog still has some tricks in her!"  Yup, I am emotionally doing my Snoopy Dance - physically, I am just wondering when my shoulders will stop hurting!  Oh, and the burn, I am tempted to take my temperature -- I feel hot, the current temperature in Seattle - 74 degrees!

Ha ha ha, and I even left my groceries on the counter - after grabbing some raw cauliflower.  I was hungry, tired, and I cannot remember ever enjoying cauliflower as much as today, I guess I really am tired!  Things are looking pretty good to me at the moment, so when I say "stay positive," it really does make a difference -- so STAY POSITIVE!

Woot... Woot... too tired for any more exclamation points...
Brenda : )~

For those who have been following my journey, I have tried to face things eye to eye, but I will admit I was chickening out on ONE appointment, the Plastics Consult!  Well, my birthday is Friday, so I just pulled my big girl panties up & made the call, my appointment is Friday, September 30th - exactly one week past my birthday.

Thanks to Anna & Kari for keeping on me & asking if I had my consult date yet, I really was avoiding this like the plague - again, thank you!  

For those wondering why in the world would I avoid something so life changing, I will answer you... I really have striven to stay positive in the face of negative situations, so I was afraid of what the surgeon would say.  Okay, having hope without being told "no" was better to me than knowing one way or the other.  I am so far from being a stable weight or even near goal weight, I originally was shocked that my Primary Care Doctor told me to get the "damn appointment!"  I guess I will pop in to my doc's office on Thursday - blood work is scheduled that day - and drop off a thank you to her, as well!

My blog tells all about my hideous pannus, and why it is now being considered more a health issue than just cosmetic.  For most insurance coverage, the pannus (the fat apron hanging over the pubis) must be at least 2 inches over the pubis to be covered as a "reconstructive procedure," which mine is significantly more than 5 inches over.  Most surgeons also want you to be at a stable weight for around a year, I am still losing.  Then the question about goal weight also plays here, I am still 320 pounds - down from 474, how much more time would it take to shrink the flesh & make it easier to remove?  Ugh.  This is why I was so excited that my doctor referred me, but also scared to be told "No, you cannot have this..." 

My pannus is so large & weighs (an estimate by my doctor) a good 30 pounds - yikes!  I went in to see her and complaining that with all my exercise & weight loss, why in the hell is my back hurting?  She agrees with me, it is the pannus.  I then got to show her something quite graphic -- I keep sanitary pads UNDER the pannus during "that time of the month," to keep the blood from leaking out by my hips!  I have never heard anyone else describe this problem, so I will also be asking Dr. Hutter if he can also reduce my mons -- the puffy pubis area. 

Whether I am told "yes," "not yet," or even "no," I will be facing something that both scares me & excites me -- I really dislike my pannus (my mother used to say, "Brenda, we don't hate things, we dislike them...") -- no, I dislike my pannus INTENSELY, wish mom could hear that one!  Worst case I figure, I will be told I have to lose more before it will be done. From all my digging, and even talking with the Bariatric Surgeon's Office, my pannus & thighs will definitely be covered, now it is a matter of "how soon"? 

I will update the blog as soon as I talk to Dr. Hutter (He studied at Harvard - in my best snooty voice), and I will keep my emotions in check - whether I get a yea or a nay! 

Miles swam for the year so far: 347!!!!  I am sure I will hit the 500 mile mark before the too long!
Stay Positive!
Brenda : )~

Okay, so you are bored with mixing shakes, what ELSE can you do with your Chike Meal Replacement?  Gather 'round, I am about to share some of my goodies with you!  I use Chike Meal Replacement for LOTS of fun meals, not to mention the added bonus of amazing nutritional values.  If you go to: nutritiondata.self.com - you can analyze YOUR recipes, too!!!

When you go to iLikeChike.com - tell them Brenda from OH sent you, and you may get a SURPRISE!

Strawberry Power Bars:
3 scoops of Strawberry Burst Chike Meal Replacement
2 eggs or 3 egg whites (depends on your dietary concerns)
small tub of Greek yogurt - I use unflavored
1 can of Water Chestnuts sliced or chopped - this adds crunch
Medium chopped apple
1 cup chopped dried fruit - get creative! I used Figs this last batch
1/2 cup TVP -- Textured Vegetable Protein -- found in bulk food isle
1/2 cup dry oatmeal -- I use steel cut, but rolled will do as well
1/2 cup Kashi or Fiber One Cereal - I use the low calorie kind that looks like small animal pellets
optional 1/2 cup chopped RAW almonds (no salt, or seasoning)


The eggs, yogurt and Chike get mixed on LOW until wet, then I start adding the fruit and water chestnuts.  To this wet mess, start adding the cereal, oatmeal, TVP & if you are using almonds.  This goes into a greased & floured 8X8 pan at 350 for 30 minutes.  I let it cool before I start making my bars, then I put them into an airtight container & try to keep my kid from wiping them out!

Banana Majic Chike Pancakes - YUM!
2 scoops Banana Majic Chike Meal Replacement
1 cup rolled oats (I put them in the blender to make them more like oat flour)
2 eggs or 3 egg whites (your choice)
1 tsp  baking powder
splash of vanilla
1/2 tsp cinnamon
optional sliced banana for garnish - or throw it in mashed, to the batter!

Start with the eggs & vanilla (banana IF you are mixing it in), adding Chike, oats, baking powder & cinnamon.  Blend until most lumps are gone, and get that griddle nice & warm before pouring batter.  I haven't tried it yet, but I will add 2 tbls of oil & give Banana Majic Chick WAFFLES - I'll post my results!!!

Peanut Butter Chocolate Bliss Breakfast Fabulous-ness!
2 scoops Chike Chocolate Bliss Meal Replacement
1 Tbs Better-N-Butter or peanut flour (which I prefer)
1/2 cup rolled oats - NOT quick oats - check your bulk food isle for CHEAP rolled oats
3/4 cup of water

Mix all the dry ingredients, add the water, then microwave for about 2 minutes - this makes enough for two servings for me - at about 100 calories each.  This is what I had for breakfast today!

Elvis Ate My Cookies!
2 Scoops Chike Banana Majic Meal Replacement
1 cup flour
1 tbs baking powder
1 egg
1/2 cup mashed banana
1/2 cup Better-N-Butter spread - or low fat peanut butter - or natural, no sugar added peanut butter
1 tbs vanilla
1/3 cup Splenda Brown Sugar -- look for it - great stuff to cook with!
optional 1/4 cup dark or semi sweet chocolate chips
optional ELVIS add-on - 1/3 cup crumbled bacon!

I mix the wet stuff first - egg, banana, Better-N-Butter, then the Slenda Brown Sugar.  To that I add the dry ingredients.  Don't be afraid to add the bacon - it does make it amazing - and I do add the chocolate chips, I use dark chocolate myself.  Now I make 36 balls chill for about an hour before I cook for ten minutes at 375 degrees -- let cool, then make your friends Burn With Desire -- this is an AWESOME recipe, that is about 60 calories a cookie!

Brenda : )~

Wow, is all I can say... I came home after doing my swim, did some gardening -- another great activity over just "exercising," to have my cat bring in his freshly killed bird.  Okay, I do not tell my cat to eat birds or mice, but I will allow him to eat the spoils of his conquest.  Some may disagree with me, but it is one way my cat gets extra protein and some exercise.  After thanking him for sharing with me, I proceeded to take the bird out on the deck, which in all the calling of his name, got my other cat interested -- SHE is out on the deck eating HIS fresh kill.  Ugh.

I think this story is a little appropriate, considering I was wanting to talk about the importance of protein, especially before and after I exercise.  I am currently chewing on left over steak that I sliced paper thin, and laughing at the irony of this situation.  My cat, Killer (he has lived up to the name), loves to spend time with me in my garden, and just caught the bird after I came inside to have a meal.  I think he was bringing me a present, as I heard him at the front door meowing to me.  I ignored him, as my food was hot & I was hungry.  My cat lovingly walked around my house, and up a flight of stairs, just to show me what a good provider he is.  Thanks Killer, but I already have a small steak, I don't think I'll have room for your sparrow... I wonder what the nutritional value - if any - of feathers?

My extreme time in the pool may not be for everyone, I get that.   I wanted to say that even if you break your exercise into a few short bursts, you are still getting the benefits I am!  No, you do not have to spend two hours swimming laps, not even one hour.  I do it mainly because I can.  Not everyone has a flexible schedule, and not everyone wants to work as hard as I do.  If you merely spend 15 minutes a few times a day raising & sustaining your heartbeat, you are getting an aerobic workout.  Before I was swimming, I used to take the flights of stairs in my home at various times a day.  I have two flights, so I will go down two, come up one or two - and just try to do this ten times a day.  Back before I started building my stamina, this was a LOT of exercise for me, but doable.

I am almost ten months out from surgery, and my weight loss has definitely slowed, so I try to push myself harder, as I still have a lot of weight to go.  Being active is a big part of the equation of losing excess weight.  Losing weight also helps motivate me to be active - so it really goes hand in hand.  I may not be able to do some of the activities I did ten years ago, but I am able to do more than I was able to do just five years ago!  What I like to tell folks about exercise, find something you really enjoy doing, it will be easier to make it a daily habit.

Over Labor Day Weekend I spent 18 hours over three days working on my yard.  So much for taking time off!  It was a moment I had been working toward for five years - removing every vine of ivy off of my property.  I was working on a rockery that is also a hill, so it was sort of amusing to my boyfriend watching me & my cat Killer climbing up & down this hill.  Killer loves his new play area, and seems to have found yet another path to get from the front of the house to the back.  You are welcome, Killer!  Blackberry bushes, the limbs of TEN maple trees, and moving a couple cords worth of tree rounds (from a 60 foot fir tree) was what keep me busy Labor Day Weekend.

Activity is something I missed when I was at my heaviest, and is something I actually crave now that I am on my way to losing my excess weight.  Being able to do something physically demanding for more than an hour at a time is very uplifting to me.  Being in a super morbidly obese body used to limit what I was able to do, but being in a merely morbidly obese body makes a huge difference -- you can chuckle here, I did.  I have lost over 25 BMI points, which is the equivalent of an adult body, which does feel like I lost someone riding me piggy back.  With at another 20 BMI points to go, I am seeing a light at the end of this tunnel.

Keep positive, become active, and remember to get as much protein in as you can! 

Brenda : )~

Wow, it just seems unreal that September isn't just here, it's halfway into the month and I just cannot seem to get a moment to myself... 

For those who have been following my goal of swimming 5000 meters (3.10 miles) in under two hours by end of Summer - I came REALLY close, 4800 meters is as far as I could get.  Less than two stupid tenths of a mile is what kept me from my goal, so I am a bit bummed.  But on the happier side of the equation, I DID accomplish 4800 meters (2.98 miles) in under two hours.  The Aquatic Center being closed for almost a month didn't help, but I have swam to date - 335 MILES for the year, and I am still swimming!

I haven't replied to an email from a friend here on OH yet, so I am going to include a little about my swimming in here.  Folks ask me all the time how can I swim so much?  Well, a few things to consider when you choose your activity or exercise: What is something you will ENJOY doing daily (or at least three times a week); What can you do without pain daily?  For me, it is swimming.  I started out at a scale busting 474 pounds, and by the way, swimsuits DO come in my old size, and even larger - so ask me if you need some suggestions on where to buy one!  My swimming started like most folks, as a child I LOVED the water.  As an adult, I NEED to be near the water - maybe it's just in my head, but I find comfort in living near a body of water.  Water is very kind to large bodies - we float so well!  But on the opposite side of that coin, we also aren't very streamline, so maybe not as fast as our trim counterparts.  So, if you decide to set a goal for yourself, make it realistic.

When I started swimming as my "activity of choice," I was no where close to being able to swim the distance I can now.  See how I didn't call it exercise?!  With anything in life, you start somewhere, and go from there.  My first days in the pool swimming laps weren't easy, but at the same time, not too hard.  Why?  Because I listened to my body.  I started swimming 20 minutes at a time, about 500 meters.  I like swimming in a pool that is set up either at a 25 or a 50 meter length (Olympic size pools are 50 meters - just ask your pool what their length is), as it is easy for my math skills!  I swim in an indoor pool - welcome to the Pacific Northwest!  But, it is a good option, as I can go YEAR ROUND without whining too much about how cold it is.  The pool many days is WARMER than outdoors here in Seattle, so it is a wonderful treat for me!  
You may say, "but I can barely swim Freestyle (dog paddle, or whatever)..."  Doesn't matter what you do - what matters is that you DO IT!  The Aquatic Center where I swim offers a walking pool - 0 inches to I believe 3 feet - so even walking in a pool for a half hour or more gives you resistance without the weight bearing our lower body may not like.  Think about it, gravity is cruel to those of us who weigh more than the average person, so water is a kinder, gentler option!  Look at options in your area, there is usually some pool program that offers classes, or even go down & tread water -- the movement is what you are shooting for.

Another thing I use in my daily swims, MUSIC!  Swimming for two hours a day can be good for thinking things through, but for someone like me, I need some type of distraction that will keep me from over thinking too many things.  Yup, I have a mind that churns so much, I should just add cream & make butter!  You don't need an expensive Waterproof MP3 Player, mine was cheap, you can also get bags for your existing MP3 - iPod - or heck even a CD Disc Player - but that would just be silly!!!  Look on eBay, Amazon, I found mine on Overstock, and it was less than $28 delivered.  I also found out that regular earphones or buds won't kill you or destroy them (use a CHEAP set before testing your iPod Ear Buds), as long as the player is not going to get wet on the inside, that is the thing you need to be aware of.  Hmmm, maybe I will test my theory with a baggie and tape... Who knows, Goodwill may have a cheap player I can test this theory with!  Anyhow, I choose to play my music on random, and I choose faster tempo songs -- it works for me, sets my pace, and then keeping count of all my laps is all I have left to worry about.

For folks like me who aren't very coordinated, I use a mask and snorkel.  I hate the lifting my head to one side to breathe, and keeping your head out of the water while swimming laps WILL make your back/neck hurt!!!  I am very aware of my body mechanics, considering I have been at this two years now, so I try to pay attention to how my arms & legs work together, how straight my back is, holding in my tummy (best that I can), and making sure my back is flat.  The snorkel is a great option, not just for being "lazy," it also allows you to take deeper breaths and makes your lungs even stronger!  But, just to let you know, if you push yourself TOO HARD, the snorkel will cause you to get rid of "lung butter".  Many a day after swimming, did I hack in the shower, and yes, it makes you feel like you are about to cough up one or both lungs -- so don't push too hard, listen to your body.  

Swimwear.  Okay, so you hate the way you look in clothing, how the world will you have the guts to face the pool crowd in spandex?!  I will tell you to go to my photos, and LOOK.  I have laughed about, "I'm not too fat, they still make swimsuits in my size!"  So, if I can face the world, so can you.  It may take a little time for you to become comfortable, so grab a pair of bike shorts & wear them over the suit -- do whatever makes you more comfortable.  Heck, I sometimes feel self conscious in the showers at the Aquatic Center, but I still do my daily ritual -- for ME.  Who knows, maybe there will be folks thinking YOU are so confident, as YOU hold your head up & face the world in all your glory (nekid, for those not following my drift).  My mother said I was the strongest person she ever knew, because I faced the world in my body, everyday.  Hiding is for children, and I hate to say this, but this is the month of my birthday - I am NO child!  The cool thing to consider, when you start losing MORE weight (from "activity"), you are also tightening your core, you will be able to get MORE swimsuits, cheaper!  I now own quite a few suits, when I started swimming in the beginning, I had one suit.  Soon, I bought two more suits.  Now, I scan for sales & I own at least five suits & have retired three to Goodwill!

Protein.  This is the next building block in my daily activity, I drink a meal replacement shake before I swim.  If you haven't read my blogs - my drink of choice is Chike.  Go to iLikeChike.com - you can get a trial pack of all their flavors (five, so far) in full serving sizes for $7 -- tell them Brenda told you about them, they may surprise you (call them & see what they say!!).  I do drink protein drinks, but MEAL REPLACEMENT is the key here.  I get a fully balanced meal that will keep my muscles going for two hours, and frankly, they taste great, too.  Doing the math, I can get my required nutrition for under $2, and it is better for me than say a Happy Meal, which I think is more than two bucks.  Protein and complex carbohydrates are NECESSARY for you if you are going to push your body hard.  I usually have one or two scrambled eggs, a Chike shake, and then I head to the Aquatic Center & push my body.  I don't have issues with being lightheaded WHEN I fuel up!  Consider that the next time you feel woozy just bending over.  After surgery, your body is different & needs more protein, so feed your body and it will take great care of you!

Let activity change your life!  It doesn't have to hurt - it SHOULD NOT HURT - so go out & find what feels good for you!  Walking is a great activity, and costs you nothing.  For me, it aggravates my tendon, so I can only walk so far without being in pain the rest of the day.  Swimming works for me, so I do it daily.  Try a bike ride.  I love to bicycle, and it doesn't hurt my ankle and tendon as much as walking does, and I get to see my neighborhood.  If you start out just three days a week, for at least 20 minutes, you will soon see that you can go further, and you really do feel better.  The byproduct of losing FASTER is just an added bonus!  Do your body a favor, become active!

Brenda : )~