You would think, after 2 days of being home, I would be back to normal...but that would be wrong...I am absolutely and pathetically exhausted!  (Maybe the doc shouldn't have told me my thyroid was out of whack again...I think knowing this information may have affected my thinking!)

Once I finally fall asleep (and that takes awhile), I am sleeping deeply and having lots of dreams, but I don't feel refreshed upon waking.  I told my hubby that I feel like I just need to sleep for 24 hours straight and that might make a difference.  I am a big fan of sleeping in general.  (My bed is warm and comfy...and it loves me!)  (Maybe this love affair with my bed is why I like to hang out at home wearing pajamas all day.) 

I wish those scientists could figure out how to bottle a 3 year old's energy and sell it to people like me.  Energy (or rather the lack of it) was a big reason for me having WLS.  I figured less weight will give me more energy.  It is definitely easier to get around and I have benefitted from losing 95 pounds in a lot of ways. 

The trouble with trying to search about hypothyroidism and the effect of losing weight on this disease, is that all the websites talk about how hard it is to lose weight while you are dealing with an underactive thyroid, but nothing else!  And the thought of visiting an endocrinologist (most take 3 - 6 months to get into around the Phoenix area, and there is only one group of them in the East Valley where I live), is absolutely unappetizing. 

I am putting myself out there with this embarrassing problem...along with the dizziness and nearly fainting spells, in hopes that there are others like me, and we can connect.  If I had a broken leg, it would be easy to explain to people why I have to rest alot...Shoot!  If I had cancer or something, it would be easier to explain!  (Not that I would ever wish for either of these things), I just want to feel "normal" (WHATEVER THAT IS?!) 

People with a lack of energy are often labelled as lazy.  I am very sensitive about that and don't want that label.  But because you can't see how I feel...that I feel I am swimming in a vat of peanut butter to get things accomplished...I think that laziness is the first thing people think of, if you don't move and work as much as the next guy... (Where are those darn bootstraps for me to pull up?)

It's nice being able to say, "I only have 23 pounds left to lose".  I am happy for how "small" I am now even as I am adjusting to my new body after 20+ years of being in a BIG body (with a BIG BOOTAY).  Am I wishing for too much by wanting my cake and to eat it too?  I still want my Golden Energy Ticket, Mr Wonka!

Finally, I am back home tonite (Yippee Skippy!) and the house is cooling down nicely.  I just got done eating some blackberries and honey, one of my favorite sweet treats this time of year.  It's been an interesting few days and I have learned a lot about being grateful for things we take for granted.

I was caught offguard by a statement from my best friend today.  She said, "Laurie, I don't know how you could consider working full time with everything."  I asked for clarification, and the first thing she mentioned was about how eating and drinking isn't so simple anymore for me.  At 8 months post op, I don't know how much better things can get as far as my intake goes, but I definitely still take 15 - 30 minutes to eat and I definitely don't start drinking for at least 30 minutes when I feel full.  I have run to the kitchen sink throwing up far too many times to not follow those rules.

Sometimes, I feel like I have traded one set of problems for another, but I gladly take the relatively minor problems I have now over the potentially life ending ones I used to have by being obese.  The dizziness, etc is just a temporary glitch on the road to better health.  I have no doubt that as my body stabilizes, the dizzy spells will go away.  (Even so, I am still keeping the docs in the loop - if for no other reason than to understand potential issues of post op WLS patients.) 

Speaking of dizzy spells, I had several today but I think they may be directly related to me not drinking enough yesterday.  I am keeping up today (but will not end with a surplus of fluids necessarily).  Sometimes, I can count the number of times I used the bathroom in a day and that is a big sign of needing more fluids.  If I go at least 5 times, I consider that par for the day.

Anyway, I hope you all are safe and sound.  Life is better than you think, even counting the problems in it. 

As I go into "Day 5" of bunking at my bestie's home, combining 2 families along with family pets into one home (that is 9 people and 8 animals), I have been trying to earn my keep by cooking dinner the last couple of nights.  One of my favorite things to make during the summer months is Barbecued pork...and it is really easy to make!

I buy the Pork Shoulder from my local WallyWorld, and add my favorite seasonings, including lots of garlic, onion, pepper, honey, red pepper flakes, and salt (if you have bacon seasoning or want to throw some liquid smoke in...that works too) all into a big crockpot that I sprayed with nonstick spray.  Smaller roasts can cook overnight, larger roasts might take up to 1 1/2 days.  Cook on the low setting.

The trick, for me, to maximize the protein and lessen the fat, is to spoon off about 1/2 to 2/3 of the emulsified fat (after a day of cooking) before adding barbecue sauce, Worchestershire sauce, and more honey.  You will have to find the shoulder bone(s) after drawing off the fat, as you shred the pork with a spoon or fork.  The rest of the fam might eat the barbecued pork on a bun, but I like to eat about 1/4 cup of it in a bowl with a small scoop of baked beans mixed in.

Tomorrow night, I plan to make Garlic-Chili-Lime chicken, along with brown rice (just a little) mixed with grilled zucchini, onion, and mushrooms (alot of veggies).   Hopefully, we will be back in our home soon! 

I didn't do so great on drinking today, but I haven't had a lot of problems with dizziness.  I am thankful for that!  I feel like I am behind on my protein, but am staying focused (at a minimum) on taking in enough calories (trying to stay around 800 - 1000), taking my vitamins, and getting in enough fat so my digestion doesn't get stopped up (since my normal routine is out the door right now).

I feel very scatter brained and am trying to focus on being thoughtful of others and taking care of what I can.  It doesn't feel like enough but it also feels like too much at times.  Keep your fingers crossed that we can be back home very soon!

I got a piece of the medical puzzle today with the blood work results.  My thyroid function is off so they are increasing my Synthroid.  I don't know how this will play into the dizzy/near fainting spells but it's something to consider.

I was able to keep moving along tonite in my caregiving for my artist friend, finishing earlier, and only had to sit about 2 times to ward off the dizziness. I left there feeling much better than I had on previous nights.  I am so thankful that I had a good night!

I finally lost at least a pound when I got on the scales today.  Normally, I weigh myself when I first wake up so it's consistent.  If I weigh myself at other times, after I have started my eating and drinking, I am usually up by a pound or two.  But, today I couldn't weigh at the beginning of my day, so I had to do it somewhere in the middle....and I lost a pound!  WooHoo!  I will take it even, if it's the middle of the day! 

Considering how hectic life has been this month, I am grateful to stay hydrated and eating, even if it's not perfect.  Our house lost electrical power due to the main breaker fuse going bad, which mean no A/C in the hot, hot desert of Arizona...and no fans or lights!  We have temporarily relocated our family of 5 (hubby, me, 2 daughters, & older daughter's best friend who started living with us this month) plus 5 cats and a dog to my best friend's home.  Tonite will be night 3 of this saga.  Did I mention that they have animals too so we are trying to keep them all somewhat separated?  And my house (with no power in it) was 93 degrees during today? 

Anyway, I am grateful for good friends, for chances to learn new things, and that I am in a nice cool house tonite...Everything else is just gravy right now...I think I need some peanut butter and chocolate toast before bed (I know I am seriously demented right now but I am so behind on calories and protein, this will help me get both.)  Keep the faith, my OH friends!

Tonite, I experienced the near fainting thing again while I was trying to do some caregiving for an artist friend.  I made sure I loaded up with protein and fluid before starting, and tried to keep myself moving (so I wasn't just standing for very long at a time), and I sat for short periods of time as the dizziness and hearing loss in one ear started up. 

It was still the same pattern though...Dizziness (feeling a little woozy with or without seeing stars or other vision disturbances) followed by incessant yawning, followed by loss of hearing in my left ear, and a general feeling of being off kilter accompanied by nausea.  If that keeps up long enough, I start feeling shaky and feeling like I can't catch my breath, and ready to collapse via fainting.

I paid attention tonite and I took my blood sugar testing kit.  I took frequent breaks before things got to the "near fainting" stage, and still, I had progressively worse symptoms.  When it got bad, I was just about finished with my caregiving, so I tested my blood sugar...and it read 102.  In other words, I was in the normal range.

I take that to mean that this is not a blood sugar problem such as hypoglycemia.  I have stayed within 86 - 129 in my readings, which from what I understand, is a very good range to be.

But I learned that the temporary hearing loss in one ear thing may be vertigo or Meniere's disease related.  This symptom may help the docs figure out what is going on.   In the meantime, I am definitely staying on top of common culprits such as drinking enough (between 64 - 100 oz a day), staying cool, eating at least 600 calories a day (and I am actually trying to keep it at 1000 - 1200 calories to rule out inadequate food intake as a reason), getting in my protein fixes about every 3 hours, taking multivitamins, and resting as necessary.  These are good first steps to take, in dealing with the dizziness factor.

Almonds, in a variety of flavors, have been my "on the go" source fo protein lately as they are easy to eat and it doesn't take much to get the calories.  They are "low carb", high fiber, and are Omega rich, along with high calorie.  For some, the high calorie part may be a reason for you to think twice, but there are so many of us who don't get in enough calories each day. I like to eat them when I can't eat at a scheduled time or late at night when I have tabulated my calories in my head and realize I am under (hanging at 500 calories or less).

Thanks again for all your comments as they provide necessary feedback about what our little OH community is dealing with.  This dizziness thing seems to be a widespread problem that we need to continue our dialogue about so we can take better care of ourselves and get help from the medical world as needed.  Thanks for your two cents!