As I mentioned before, my emotions are all over the map right now. Yesterday was a bummer day, but, when I forced myself to drink more water, I felt much better. I was bummed about not being perfect at this, but, who is? If anyone is perfect at this, great for them! I, however, am on a constant journey, as I am a constant work in progress. By God's grace I will make it through this with flying colors.
I know we are recommended to not go to restaurants much with GBP, but, I've been in positions lately that led me to restaurants due to my kids' performances, and made the best of them.
Last nights' performance was at Hard Rock Cafe. Something that struck me last night was all the plump & "happy" people eating all sorts of greasy, fried, fat laden foods ... platters of it ... numerous refills of sugar laden and carbonated drinks and just having a grand time... laughing, enjoying each other’s company. I felt remorse temporarily, because I was (am?) one of 'those' people ... eating with no regard for my health. Practically abusing my liver, digestive system, skin, and Brain with tasty, yet, detrimental foods.
I actually felt lonely for a moment, like an outsider as I quietly watched people live it up on what should probably be called garbage. I opted for a Caesar salad, because there were no low fat items anywhere on the menu!!! I picked around the salad until I felt I'd eaten enough to not desire other peoples stuff, and patiently waited for my kids’ performance to end.
As I people watched, I recalled how much I secretly loathed being that way. Oh How I longed to be one of the 'in-control' healthy, beautiful people you see at Whole Foods ... for years and years I wanted to be one of the beautiful ones, able to inspire people to a healthy lifestyle with just a glance at me. Seeing the way I carried myself would be an inspiration to anyone to step away from the 'dark side', I'd imagine ... Now I have my chance! The chance I prayed for, the chance to manage my health, instead of my unhealthy lifestyle, and depression managing me.
Again, i prayed for this! And God granted me this opportunity in many ways!! So, now I get to work it, and live it! Because I signed up for it! And I'm gonna be just fine! No more fear of success! I'm gonna make it after all!