APRIL 15, 2006

I received the phone call I have been waiting for. I finally have a consultation with the surgeon. I know that the process is just beginning but I have something to look forward to! I can't wait to get a date and take my before surgery picture. The road back to health is there...I am on the on ramp now but I am gaining speed.

APRIL 20, 2006

Went to my first consultation with the surgeon this morning. Everything looks good except my BMI dropped below 40 3 years ago when I was on Weight Watchers!!!

That really upset me....it is like someone took the wind right out of me.

Oh well, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

Talked with my mother today...asked if she would be available to come earlier than September. She said she could come in August but had plans in July.....oh well. There is a family graduation in June and I really want to be there for that. I don't think traveling across the country after major surgery is a good idea. My friends Carolyn and Vicki will be here for me if I want an earlier surgery date. If I get a date.

Mood matches the weather today.

May 14, 2006

Well, I am recovering from working the last 4 days. It is getting harder each day. Just a few short months ago I could work five days in a row and not have a problem at all...not anymore.

I wish I had family nearby I would have the surgery sooner. Still don't have a firm date for surgery. Please God don't let anything change...this really needs to happen for me.

June 19, 2006

Well, I am back from attending all the West Coast graduations I had planned. I saw my family and spent some time with them. It was great to get away and just relax.
I also got to eat some of the best Mexican food in the world! Something I won't be able to do after surgery.

Still haven't heard anything from the surgeon...other than a bill for my initial consultation that is.

They will just call me the first of August and schedule my pre-op tests...hmm, I know patience my child.

Also, told some people I work with about having surgery. Of course I knew there would be some backlash....one person said have you really ever tried to loose weight!!! This from someone who is supposed to be a health care professional....fool! The other person said....people who have that surgery either die or gain back all the weight...nice, such compassion. I have been trying to loose weight for 13 years! 13 years of ups and downs.....13 years of failure. And now, my knees hurt, my ankles hurt, I have hypertension, my legs and ankles are always swollen....I am 130 pounds overweight!!!

"No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper....it won't work" If you don't know...you had better ask somebody!

July 27, 2006


Just got off the phone with the surgeon's office! I am HOT!!! Everytime I talk with this office they ask me if I am a patient and if I have been scheduled for surgery. This should bother me...something isn't right. I have yet to receive any information about pre-op testing , when , where nothing!! I have yet to meet with a nutritionist!!! What is going on!

28 July 2006

Laura from my surgeon's office called with all my appointments. I am so happy. I had no idea what I was going to do...plane tickets have been purchased. I have notified my employer about FMLA....really glad that is over. Have faith in the Lord!

29 July 2006

Okay, slept like a baby last night...but, then I do every night....smile! Thank you God!
Okay today I start cleaning....and I have my work cut out for me. I plan to start in the kitchen and when I finally get the house clean I will start again cleaning the kitchen again. I plan to kill every bacteria, virus...you name it in this house. The kitchen and the bathrooms and my bedroom will be clean if no where else.

Making a list for what I need to do prior to surgery...I need to do a lot!!! I sent an email out to my friends telling them about my surgery and that I will be busy the next few weeks...don't tempt me with dinners, movies , glasses of wine...none of that. I need to get organized and clean.

Maybe I can unearth my digital camera while I am cleaning. Need to take some before pictures.
Have a blessed day!

5 August 2006

Okay, apparently the thermostat is stuck on HELL!!! I know August in the South is supposed to be hot but damn! this is ridiculous. It has been about 95 degrees here for 40 days. I walk to the mailbox and I am dripping wet when I come back inside.

WEll, yesterday was an interesting day. Took my dog to the vet because she was really lethargic...wouldn't eat or drink. Just wouldn't do anything...looked really out of it.

Dropped her off and went to water aerobic...well, by the time I got out the vet had called me 5 times! Hmmm, not good. She needed a blood transfusion and then needed to stay in doggie ICU. Thought she would get another unit of blood but she didn't...wish she had. I paid for the blood have no idea what they will do with it..

Well, on Monday I go in for my Nutritional Consult. I am sure we will talk about the preop two week diet. Not looking forward to that but know it is a done deal. I will start August 14th. Will order my vitamins as soon as I get the discount code and then it is just the small stuff like CLEANING THE HOUSE. And stocking the fridge and cupboards with post op stuff. I did purchase some samples from Unjury ( I think this will be my protein ), I also got some Whey Protein from Costco and some Profect also.Trying to stock water but we keep drinking it up...so HOT! Need to buy 4 flats at a time instead of 2..whew!

Getting excited and nervous. Haven't had to depend on anyone in a long time.

Oh well tomorrow is another busy day...clean, laundry and repair tub, finally! I am so sure my water bill is going to be outrageous!! Good thing I am on the budget plan!

18th August 2006

Okay, I have been on the required Pre-Op diet for 5 long days and it is a BITCH!!! I don't eat much or so I thought...whew this is bad!

Wednesday I went to Walmart to get a few items and came back to a dead battery..DAMN, DAMN and Double DAMN! Wow..I was in there for 30 minutes, how did this happen well off I went to Firestone...it was 6:30 and they closed at 7 PM, there was no way I was going to drive home tonight. I was wrong....battery dead, replace and charge card presented. Oh well!

18th August 2006

Woke up and was actually dizzy and my stomach was cramped and I was starving!! I really haven't felt hunger like this before....maybe this was head hunger..no idea but I drank my protein drink and ate a little peanut butter. Still didn't feel better....drank some water and then went back to sleep for 2 hours...woke up and actually felt human! Thank God.
Can't get sick now girlfriend...too close to the surgery day.

Took the dog to the vet again...wants her to come back next week.Hell no!!! They will milk you for everything. She will not be back until September....mid September at that. She looks good. Her blood level is improving...the vet needs to finance her new vehicle some other way.


I know it has only been 5 days...but I swear I think I have lost weight...hehe! Anyway, I have decided to not purchase a scale...don't want to learn to rely on it.

Well, I work three more days...three more days before my journey begins.

Well, I need a cleaning miracle....my house is awful. I want it spotless!!! The energy level isn't there for me to clean ....but I will.
Well, until next time...I have been ready a lot of profiles lately....hmm, some of them are scary. I think I need to stop. Until next time.

24 August 2006

Yesterday was my last day to work for about 6 weeks.

I have a friend at work that I did activities with like going to the movies, lunch and plays. Well for about 2 weeks this so called friend has been giving me the cold shoulder. She recently had to put her dog down she I thought she was grieving for her pet and really didn't try to crowd her. Told her that I was sorry about her dog and I knew how hard it was because I to had to put one of my dogs down.
She said yeah and that he was suffering so . I told her to call me if she needed anything. Well, the cold shoulder behavior continous to the point of avoidance.
She was the one who I talked with initially about wanting to have surgery. She knew the date on my surgery and that my last day at work was yesterday...she said nothing, no well wishes, no I am praying for you...nothing.
I have done absolutely nothing to this woman. Granted I have been busy trying to organize my house and get all my job duties done prior to leaving...but my phone numbers or email address hasn't changed. Tried to speak with her yesterday and only response I received were one word answers. Yes no....no idea.
Supposed to go to a play on Friday night, we usually do dinner prior to the play but she didn't ask about the play nor did she ask about dinner. I really have been looking forward to see this play and will definately go.

No idea what to do....but this too shall pass!

The Night Before the Big Event

Well, it is Sunday night and I am in the Mag Citrate waiting room. I thought it was all over but I feel another explosion coming on.

Didn't get everything done that I wanted to but that is okay...will finish up the bathroom, change my sheets and pack my bag then I am done.

The next message will be from the "Looser" me!


Thursday August 31, 2006

Home from hospital....thank you GOD! Surgery was a complete success now the rest is up to me....trying to get water and protein in. REally tired but then again I did just have surgery...hehe.

Sore and tired are my only complaints. Pain is getting better every day though!

6 September 2006

Today is a great day. The gas is getting better but still a constant in my life! Never thought I would have to deal with this much gas in my life...to bad I couldn't bottle the stuff.

Going to the support group meeting tomorrow, I feel it is an important thing to do. I want to give support for the new pre-ops .
And I want to see my friend Linda who has started her pre-op diet and will be having surgery on September 11th. She has been such a good friend to me...now it is my turn to be there for her.

Until next time. Healing and feeling good.

7 September 2006

WEll, today wasn't a great day! The gas and now mom is mopping with some really strong cleanser...whew, had to close the door. It was making my stomach boil....bad!!!

The one thing the surgery did was increase my sense of smell....whew. Somethings like perfume and cleanser double in smell to me. I could barely stand it when my nurse came to me in the hospital her perfume almost made me puck...I love perfume too....oh well.

Well, I got down that nasty Proteinex....nasty. I know I need it because I can't drink and entire shake..it is saving my life. The water I am working on daily.

Well until next time.

11 September 2006

Well it is the 5th Anniversary of a very tragic day. I turned on the television and there it was....I started to cry again. Turned the TV off....none of that.

I struggle everyday to get my protein and water in. It is truly hard!!! Before surgery I could down 16 ounces of water and think nothing of it...no more. Two ounces and I am full for an hour. And the protein.....nasty nasty. Protenex...has 25 grams of protein....the nastiest thickest stuff I have ever had....last night I almost threw it back up...I have got to get something else and soon. I enjoy Unjury..but once again the sheer volume of it and getting the multiple shakes and my water in is truly a struggle. All of this on top of not having an appetite at all...nothing! I know that it will pass soon....just praying I don't screw up before hand.

Until next time!

27 September 2006


Went to the gym today. Really enjoy working out and being on a "normal" schedule. But that is about to end...work will start again next week, Monday. I know I need to get back to my normal routine...but I don't want too....just whining!
Still trying to improve my fluid intake. Found a light breakfast drink...has 15 calories per serving. REally like it. Now if only I enjoyed drinking the no calorie drinks. WAter intake is improving...slowly.
I would really like to start loosing again...I am at a stall, wondering how long it will last. Hopefully with the start of work, things will improve.

Bless you all!

7 October 2006

It was a good week. Went back to work..last day was awful, had to let my backup take over around 4 AM. It was bad, just tired. Didn't really sleep well on Tuesday...but that will improve with time.

Went for my first meeting with the trainer....went well. I told her what I wanted her role to be...hehe, I never can give up control...a problem I have...smile. I will meet with her once a week for updates, advancements and challenges. Eventually I would like to attend one of the Gutbusters and Boot Camp classes....not now though.

Hope I am eating the right things...really not sure. That is one of the criticisms I have about the Bariatric Program....there isn't enough information. I get in my 60 grams or more of protein daily, working on my water...other than that...no idea what I need to do. I have started exercising at least 4 times a week....hopefully I will progress. My weight loss is slow but I am okay with that...maybe that will lessen the extra skin.

As usual I loose weight on top first....the bottom is slow to let go. People say...well that is good. But no it isn't!! I want to move down a pant size...not two shirt sizes! But I am grateful to be loosing weight and hopefully going toward a better, healthier lifestyle.

Blessings to all!!