Well as you can tell I'm back from vacation.  I had a great time and wish I was still there.  The whole trip was perfect up until I was coming back and AA bump me off my flight.  I had to pay an extra $1,000 dollars just to get a flight back home two days later first class.  I was so upset about that but then I remember that I promise myself and my grandmother that I will not allow anyone or anything stress me anymore.  It seem like all I do lately is get upset and stress out over everything.  I let people and things get to me and when I went to visit her grave I made a vow not to do it anymore.  I realize that the same people who stress me out and hurt me are the same people who are not losing any sleep when the night come.  They wake up every morning with not a care in the world and NEVER have nothing to complain about.  While me on the other hand is so stress that sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.  Well no more of that.  As my late grandmother would say " What will be, Will be.  I know alot of you read my blogs and know alot of things that goes on in my life.  I hope that reading my blogs help atleast one person out there.  Now lets talk about my weight loss journey.  Well when I went to Barbados I ate anything that I wanted to eat kinda.  In the morning I still had my shake for breakfast.  I was lucky to find the slim fast shake in the supermarket even though they cost an arm and a leg.  For lunch I usually treated myself to a nice restaurant and for dinner I usually went out with my cousin to eat and drink.  I went on the scale when I got back and I gained a couple of pounds  but as you all already know that does not bother me one bit.  Now that I'm back I have been going back to my routine and working out again.  I get up in the morning and go to the gym .  I want to be half my size by next summer.  Hopefully I can accomplish that.  Well that's it for now.  I'm not sure when i will go for a third fill but hopefully it will be no time soon.  Well until I post again take care. 

V

OMG.....................  Where do I start.  

So as most of you know I got my pre op testing done April 1st for the SECOND time.  So I called my coordinator yesterday to see if she got the blood work and she never answered the phone.  So I assume she didn't come to work and decided I would try her first thing this morning.  I leave my house and go to the bus stop and pulled out my phone to dial her number.  On the second ring she pick up the phone and I said hello Nilsa, its such and such calling.  Im calling to see if you got my blood work and to make sure you have everything you need this time around.  She then proceeds to tell me that she was out yesturday and she is very busy.  She have blah blah email and voicmails.  She told me to hold on let her check to see if she got my paper work.  She comes back and told me she don't have anything and that I meaning ME could call pre op to ask them to fax it to her cause she dont have it.  (Excuse me)  So then she tries to rush me off the phone and I was piss at this point.  I told her LOOK im not trying to go thru what I went thru last time.  Last time you sent my stuff in late and I didn't get to have surgery.  I told her im not going thru it again and that if I have a problem this time then someone else is going to have a problem.  Then she said that sounds like a threat.  I told her no its not a threat, im simply telling you that im not going to wait for you to mess up and screw me again.  Then she tell me to call the nurse and try to get the paper work to her.  At this time Im fuming and I made a U turn back to my house.  I drop my bag and picked up the phone.  I called the nurse and then nurse told me she sent everything to my coordinator already.  I asked her kindly if she can send it again.  She said give her 10 min and she will send it.  I hung up the phone but I was still upset and wanted more to be done.  I was sick and tired of doing this woman's job so my sister got out of her bed when she heard my voice and saw my face.  My sister is about to be a certified nurse and she asked me if that woman work for the hospital or the division and I told her.  She then advise me to call the office back and ask for the OFFICE MANAGER.  Guess what?  I did just that.  I was put on hold and then she came on and I told everything.  She was so nice and apologized and told me she will handle this.  She said she will call me back before the day was out.  By the time I left the house and got to the train station she told me she got everything and my blood work is good.  She said tomorrow I will get a call telling me what time to come in Monday for surgery.  She also said she will have a long conversation with the coordinator and have a staff meeting.  So to end this off with a good note im good to go for Monday.  Im sorry I had to do what I did but COME THE F#$K ON!!!!.  I AM DETERMINE TO HAVE THIS SURGERY AND MOVE ON WITH MY NEW LIFE. 

It’s true when they say the devil is always working.  Well a week has pass since being on this liquid diet.  It’s hard but im maintaining I guess.  I’ve been drinking a shake in the morning, soup for lunch, another shake around 4pm and then when I get home I drink more soup and then around 8 or 9 another shake.  The soup is really good because my mom made is.  It’s basically chicken soup from scratch with veggies in it.  She makes the soup and then take out all the chicken, so basically its chicken broth with veggies in it West Indian style.  I will admit its times when I really get upset and just want to eat but im trying.  I’ve been eating now and later candy to keep taste in my mouth.  I know im probably not suppose to eat candy but to hell with that.  Everywhere I go my stomach growls and make all types of funny noises.  

Well I went to go get my esophogram done the other day and everything went well.  They made me take everything off from my waist up and lay on top of a table.  Then they made me drink this nasty milky substance slow while this thing above me scans my body like an x-ray.  It took about 2 min and then it was over.  Since U was already at the hospital I decided to stop down stairs by the office to talk to the coordinator.  A few days ago my PCP receptionist called and told me my doctor will be out of the office on emergency.  At this time I start to panic because my pre op testing is on the 25th and the results have to be sent to my PCP for review.  She then has to send a medical release form to the coordinator in order for me to be schedule for surgery for sure.  If the doctor isn’t in the office then who will give me my release papers?  I told this to the coordinator and she gets on the phone and call my PCP receptionist and told her I need this stuff done in order to go thru with surgery.  So now both of them are back and forth on the phone and finally the receptionist said a stand in will be available to do it for me.  So the coordinator fax the paper work to her and now all I have to do is wait and see what happens.  Then after that was done, I ask the coordinator if my insurance claim was submitted yet and she told me no.  WTF!!! I have one week left until surgery and they still have not submitted my paper work into the insurance.  I mean come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  What the hell are you doing?  She told me that after she finishes eating she will do it.  After you finish eats?   I swear the health industry suck and all the people in it.  Now I just have to wait and see what happens.  On Monday I go for the pre op testing and then the next day the results will be fax to the PCP office.  So you know what that means right?  I will be in that office comes Tuesday to make sure they fill that info out and send it to the coordinator.  Then on Monday im going to call the coordinator and make sure she submitted my insurance claim..  If she didn’t then she is going to have a big ass problem.  

Well that’s it for now.  I will keep you posted on my journey.  I have come this far and will be damn if I let anyone mess this up for me.  Pray for me OH.  Later.

Well I went back to the doctor today and I meet my surgeon for the first time.  Dr. Kurian is such a nice and funny lady.  Her first impression of me was that I have a big beautiful smile with such adorable dimples.  The nurse took my weight and she said I am 355, which means I lost 8 pounds from the last time I was in the office which was the 14th.  She asked me a couple of general questions and then we went into her office.  She sat us down and had me sign a release form and then she asked us if we had any questions.  I told her no and my mom told her no.  She was shock to hear that because she said usually people have tons of questions to ask her.  She asked my mom if she sure she didn’t have any questions because this is the first time I will be under the knife.  I told her that I had done so much research that I pretty much knew everything I needed to know.  After that I went into the coordinator office and she gave me a surgery date.  I will be having surgery on March 3 2008.  Yippy....   I was happy but not that excited because right now I’m sick.  My sister gave me a 24 hour virus that is going around.  All day I have been puking and crying because of so much pain.  Well my next step is to do my pre op testing which I have to do 10 days before surgery and I have to start my liquid diet on Feb 18th.  That was perfect for me because I plan on going to Bermuda that weekend just to get my mind ready for my new life.  My sister and I will be going and I can’t wait.  Well I will keep you posted on how things go.  I was told my paper work will be submitted to the insurance the first week of Feb.  So when I find out if I got approved or not I will post another blog.  Pray and wish me luck. 

Happy New Years Everyone

Well this is my first post for the year and im going to make it a good one.  Well my New Years was very nice.  I made Pecan pie during the day and then got dress and went to church for 8:30.  When I got to CCC the church was pack.  It was so pack I had to stand up which I didn't mind, I was just so happy to be there.  The choir started to sing my favorite song and I just started moving my feet.  It seems like everytime I go to church I cry.  I just start thinking about my Grandma and the tears just start to flow.  I miss her so much and im always thinking about her.  She was a faithful church woman, so I guess every time I go to church it reminds of her and I all emotional.  Keno use to always say why you being so emotional but like i always tell him, im a woman and sometimes I deserve to be emotional.  When im in church Its like my grandma is right there with me.  I lost her last year in sept and it was such a shock to me and my whole family.  I  miss her so much and sometimes I cant help but break down and cry.  Not only am I doing this surgery for myself but im also doing it for her.  She use to always call me her "Big Sweets" and she always accepted me for who I am.  Besides my mom that woman she was a big role model to me.  She is the reason for who I am today and I will never forget her.  NEVER!!!!

Well moving along, My birthday is on Tue Jan 8th.  I will be turning 29 years old.  Man im getting old and Fab!!!!!!!!! lol.  Usually im out of the country for my birthday but this year im just keeping it local.  I decided im going to hang out with my friends and party.  I was going to do it this Sat but it seems like some of my friends are busy so im moving it to next Sat.  Hopefully everyone will make it.  I have one friend who seems to be still bitter about me not going with her to a party a couple of weeks ago.  I sent her an invite and she didn't respond.  I cant believe that she is still mad over this party I didn't go to.   I was going to go with her but I had to finish up my paper for school.  My cousin birthday celebration was that same weekend and I didn't get a chance to go with her also cause I was to busy doing my paper.  Plus the weather was bad that weekend also.  Hopefully she gets over it soon, but if not oh well.  That is her problem not mines.  I have alot of things going on in my life and I don't have time to be bitter or hold grudges anymore.  Life is short and I need to start enjoying it.  Need to get my life together and make the best of it.  Mish this post is for you, Im sorry I didn't go with you to the party but I didn't finish that paper until 5 that morning.  I had to send it to my Prof that weekend in order for her to change my grade.  Sorry. 

Anyway I will post again soon after I meet with the doctor which is on the 14th.  Wish me luck.

Well i saw the psychologist yesterday and she approved me to go onto the next step.  She told me that I am a good candidate for the surgery and she think that I will be just fine after surgery.  She was a lil concerned about why I was sad but I reminded her that my grandmother had just passed and it still had me down a lil.  So you know as soon as I got in here today I called to make my nutritional assessment and H&P appointment.  I called and they gave me a date of Jan 15 2008.  By then I should have all my medical records and my 6 months supervised diet done.  I am so excited and worried at the same time.  I have been having second thoughts of what type of surgery to go for.  I see so much sucess stories from people who has done the gastric.  I think my safe bet is the lapband.  I already called my mom and sis and ask them both if they can come with me to the appointment.  On the paper is states that you should bring a family member or close friend and why not have my two best friends there with me.  (mom and twin sister)   

I was talking to my friend (keno) just now and we were joking around like we always do and I jokingly mentioned to him how im going to be the ish when I loose this weight and he was like your the ish now.  He told me that I have a high confident level now and that when I loose the weight it will get bigger.  He said he hopes I don't change.  I told him I will be the same person not to worry but he thinks I will change because people change.  He told me that I wont have to worry about fitting into a airplane seat anymore or turning sideways to go thru a turnstile of lil stuff like that.  I started to think about what he was sayin and he might be right but I will still be Vonett.  I think that I will change a lil but I not into a whole different person.  He told me that he loves the fact that im so confident now with this weight but he can see sometimes it goes down and that's true.  Lately its been bothering me and I don't know why.  He has really been a good friend to me when he wants to be.  He is the only guy that I tell all my secrets to when it comes to my weight.  He don't judge me nor criticize me.  He is always there for me when it comes to things like this and that's why I love his non caring, irresponsible, cant commit ass for.  This one is for you keno, for accepting me just the way I am. 

Well this weekend I went and got my medical records from an old doctor I use to go to a long time ago.  When I got there I looked around and realize nothing changed.  When I told the receptionist what I needed she told me my records were locked up in storage.  I instantly got a headache but then she told me she will go look for them which brought a smile to my face.  After sitting for 20 min she found them and gave me a copy.  I was so happy because when I read the file is had all the information I needed, as well as the date requirement I needed.  I also went on Friday and requested my other records from another doctor I use to go to and they told me my files would be ready by next week.  So it seems like everything is going just as planned.  Today I have my appt with the Psychologist which has me a lil nervous.  I don't have a clue what this woman will ask me.  I hope its nothing that would harm me from getting my approval from her to move on to the next step of getting surgery.  I still cant believe that you have to go thru all of this just to have this type of surgery done.  But I guess in the long run it will be all worth it.  I went to church on Sunday and prayed everything with be ok.  That basically sums up my weekend.  Oh yea I saw the fight also which was very entertaining.  Hatton got knocked the fuck out. lol

Well today was an interesting day for me.  So I woke up this morning and decided to take the day off.  I figure I would call and go down to the doctors office and get my medical records.   So I called one place and they told me I can come in and sign a release form and they will give me a copy of my records.  So I drove down there and it took 5 min.  In 2 weeks I should receive my records.  Then i went home and called my other doctor I went to in 04 and a guy picked up.  I explain to him I needed a copy of my medical records.  After i told him why I need them, he told me I don't need to do WLS, all I need to do is get behind of a car and start running.  Now at this point im just heated but calm at the same time.  In my old days i would have cursed his ass out but the new me just ignored him and continue asking for my records.  At the end of the conversation he said to come in and he will give it to me.  i swear people are fucking idiots and world is filled with a bunch of dicks.

Well today I got my appt for psychological evaluation for next Wed.  This is going to cost me a whooping $275.00 dollars but its well worth it in my book.  I have been doing so much research on this surgery and im a lil worried.  I have BCBS IL and I was told my insurance cover the surgery but I have to submit alot of Bull Crap ( excuse my french) in order to be approved.  Well let the games begin.