- Name: Nikki A.
- Username: SGRhose1922
- Location: Ypsilanti, MI, USA
- Member Since: 4/26/2007
- BMI: 36.4
- Post Op
- Surgery Type: RNY (04/14/08)
- Surgeon: Kerry L. Kole, D.O.
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Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God....And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
21 Months Out-The Journey Continues on January 26, 2010 7:39 am
January 26, 2010
Greetings all! I haven't updated in a while, but I am doing well. The journey continues for me. It will soon be 2 years since I've had the surgery. It has been a tremendous blessing, but I do have a ways to go.
I thank God for allowing me to have this tool to help get me to a healthy weight. I feel so much better. My back no longer aches, my knees and ankles don't hurt anymore, and I can play with my 5 year old.
I still struggle at times to get all of my water in each day, and I have to really track my protein, and focus on taking my supplements daily. Also, exercise is something that I continually make a committment to do for myself. I put myself on the back burner for so many years, that I have not become a bit selfish when it comes to taking care of me.
I must say that there have been low moments where I have gotten frustrated about how slowly the weight has started to come off. However, as long as I am exercising and making wise food choices, the scale does eventually move and the inches melt away.
I've learned that the journey continues after the surgery. This is a lifestyle change. The surgery gives you the boost to make the change, but the long lasting changes must be a conscious choice that we must make daily.
I have never regretted having Gastric Bypass surgery once. It is the greatest gift that God has afforded me to have. If I had not had the surgery, I'd be well over 400 lbs by now. Are all of my food issues gone? No! I still have to make decisions not to eat due to emotions. I still have to do my best to stay away from cheetos. However, I am determined to never gain the weight back, so I am doing what I must do to stay healthy and live my best life.
My confidence level is higher than I ever remember it being. I am singing more, doing gigs, performing in plays, and doing what I love to do. I no longer feel like I am living under a rock. I'm so grateful that my heart overflows with gratitude.
God is good!
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15 Months Out on July 17, 2009 4:17 am
July 17, 2009
I have been awful about updating my blog. However, I am now 15 months out. This journey has been amazing and it continues to be a learning experience. I'm learning who I am without all of the layers of fat to protect me. I am learning how to deal with getting attention from various people regarding the weight loss as well as from men. It still makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I am embracing this change and learning to love the new me.
My workouts are now more consistent. I must admit I wasn't very good at sticking to a routine. I now see that it is very important and I'm focusing on that. My protein intake has gotten better, but this is something that I continue to work on daily. Also, taking my supplements is something that I am working on daily to stay with a routine.
There have been bumps in the road, but I am not giving up. I do get cravings when I'm going through hormonal issues and I just want to eat twizzlers, but I am even working on finding a better alternative. The bottom line is, I am not perfect. However, I know that this RNY is a gift from God and I don't want to take it lightly and regain all of the weight that I lost.
My focus is changing my entire lifestyle. It is a work in progress. My next goal is to be in onederland. Exercise will help me to get there.
Many Blessings to all of you on this journey.
Nikki
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9 Months out-Down 105.5 lbs on January 21, 2009 10:36 am
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Greetings all!
I just wanted to update that I am 9 months out and down 105.5 lbs. I am also finally happy to report that I am officially an active person now. I work out 5 days per week and I am doing weightlifting, toning, and cardio. It took me a while to stop making excuses, but I am here and I love how it feels to be active. It has helped me feel better about myself and the stall has been broken. The scale is moving again. If I could give any advice to someone who is thinking of having the surgery or who has had the surgery, it would be to work out as soon as you can. Don't make excuses like I did. It will benefit you to make this a habit as early as you can.
Best wishes to all of you out there. We're in this thing together. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one supplement at a time, one work out at a time....
Love,
Nikki | Leave a comment.
8 Months Out-Down 102 pounds on December 18, 2008 4:53 am
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I am 8 months out and down 102 pounds. I will post new pics soon. I am so grateful for all that God has done for me. I'm in awe when I think of how I had the surgery, had no complications, and I'm continuing to lose the weight. I'm working on making good choices of what I eat daily, and I am working on making a better committment to taking my supplements daily. Most importantly, I am really working on getting exercise to be a part of my daily routine. I still haven't made that a priority and I know that exercise MUST be a part of my routine. I am really going to resolve that I owe it to myself to be more active.
This is an awesome journey. I went from weighing 337 pounds to 235 pounds. I went from a tight size 30/32 to a size 18. I can run up and down my steps easily. I can chase my son around the house and play with him. I can wear high heels and not wobble in them. I can put on pantyhose and tights with ease. I can walk without pain in my lower back and knees. I can walk with my head up and not hang it in shame because I am so ashamed of how I look. I have a waist and I can see my collar bones. So many blessings....
Since I cannot eat anymore to deal with feelings, I've had to deal with issues that come my way. I am more vocal on things and don't just let things fester. I'm journaling my thoughts and I'm grateful that food is no longer my coping mechanism. I must note that this is a work in progress. After livinig a lifetime using food to cope, surgery doesn't magically make that go away. Losing weight is a blessing, but it does not mean that your life will be perfect. If you have issues with credit as an obese person, you will have issues as a small person until you pay the bills off. If your relationship is strained as an obese person, it will be strained when you lose weight unless the issues are discussed and dealt with. Poor self image and self esteem issues do not all go away with every pound you lose. It takes a minute for the mind to catch up with the body.
I am enjoying the journey and I am grateful for all things.I will post pics soon.
Love,
Nikki | Leave a comment.
6 Months Out on October 21, 2008 9:06 am
Hello All.
Well, I am now 6 months out. I feel great. I am still working on getting my exercise routine to be at least 5 times per week. I am not going to give up. I am going to keep pushing myself.
I'm down 90 pounds and I still can't believe it. Last night I was putting on my pajamas and saw my collar bone. I had to look twice, because I don't think I've ever seen my own collar bone. It was a "wow" moment for sure.
God is so good and I just thank him for the opportunity to have the surgery. It has been life changing for me. I am learning how to deal with my feelings as opposed to eating a box of twinkies or a whole box of fruity pebbles cereal. It is a process, but I am getting there.
I am looking forward to what the next 6 months will be like. I now can tolerate a wider variety of foods, but I am still making conscious efforts to make the right choices.
Until later, everyone be encouraged.
Love, Nikki
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My Story
Greetings! I've been overweight most of my life. After experiencing some devastating things in my childhood, I began to turn to food as my solace. Food became my friend that didn't talk back to me, and the "sneak-eating" began at the age of 9. By the time I was 12 years old and in the 6th grade, I was 212 lbs. Wow! It is hard to believe that after all of these years, I'm still battling the same food issues. I am now 35 years old and 327 pounds. I can't believe I just typed those numbers, but I have to face it in order to begin to heal and get my life back. I'm tired of feeling like I'm 50. I'm tired of being exhausted, my knee hurts, my joints hurt, my back hurts, I don't have the energy to play with my 3 year old son. Shopping isn't even fun anymore, because my lower back aches before I can even get going in the stores. Most of all, I know that I'm not living my life to the fullest due to the weight. It is a barrier for me. It is like having mud in my wings.
I am hopeful and have faith that God has brought me this far for a reason. This is my year to begin again. I accept it and receive it. This will be the year that I am victorious over being super morbidly obese. Let the journey begin.....
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