All my life i have been the big girl- and after a while i got used to it. Sadly, like most cases go- it started at a young age. My mother was never around, and when she was- so as to get me to leave her alone she would give me a cookie or ice cream and sit me in front of the t.v i learned t an early age that food was a comfort.  As i got older, and life took a turn for the worse, i found solace in a bag of chips, on the ends of forks and spoons. Soon, I was glad to hide behind it, and use my weight as an excuse.  Kids made fun of me, but i ignored it, and turned to what i knew made me happy.

But lately life had been changing- and for the better. I just finished my first year of college- which in itself is a dream come true. I have a great internship lined up for this summer- and hopefully next summer as well, and I also have an energetic little brother at home- who i can't keep up with. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!!! But I'm not. I lie to myself to make it seem as if I am.  But my weight is ballooning out of control. I am told I'm beautiful- but i don't feel like it at all. I am to young to be so burnt out, tired, winded, and mad.  I feel, and this is going to sound cocky, that i have to much to give, to teach, and to be a part.

To top it off, it is affecting my academics because most mornings last year- my back hurt to much to get up and go walking around campus.  I am depressed, and I have just been diagnosed with sleep apnea.

I am at a stand still. I am currently very interested in the LAP BAND procedure, but there is one thing keeping me from pursuing it, and that is my insurance. I am currently 19 years old, and a ward of the state. I do not have any other insurance besides the HFS medical card (formally known as Public Aid), nor do I have any financial assistance besides what i make during my breaks, and part time jobs while in college.  But i need this now, I can feel myself getting worse, more tired, and more short of breath every time i move. Help me!