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Goals

go kayaking

20 People
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weigh less than my husband

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371 People
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Weigh Under 300 pounds

185 People
 in progress, 
355 People
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Get a surgery date

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Weigh less than 200 pounds!

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24 People
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Hi I am a newbie!

My name is Sheila, I am 35 years old, married, 347 lbs, I have struggled with  my weight my entire life. At one point in my early 20s I lost over 100lbs all on my own by eating healthy and working out, however after I met my husband when i was 31 I somehow slipped out of my decade long healthy pattern and ballooned to 347; and now after dozens of failed weight loss attemps I have decided to finally get the gastric  bypass surgery I had always tried to avoid. I'm still a bit apprehensive and I am praying everything comes out OK and I can go back to being that beautiful, energetic, healthy girl that I adored.
I have a 12 1/2 year old son that i need to set an example for, its difficult for me to try and teach him a healthy lifestyle if I am not doing it myself. I can feel all the weight how it's affecting my health overall and I want to be a great mom that can do many healthy activities with him for years to come and live to see all the milestones yet to come in his life.

I hope to find new friends on here and share my fears and learn from their experiences and trials.

                    
Sheila2813's Blog
Sheila2813's Blog


37 Days to Go......
on January 8, 2012 2:23 pm

I'm 37 days away from my surgery, working hard to try and catch up and leave everything ready for when I take my 2 weeks off. I'm an Accountant for a roofing contractor so the beginning of the year is busy time for me. Went to my post op appointment on Thursday, I was very happy to finally meet the dr and staff, I was overall happy with everything. They took the liberty and made all my pre-op appts for me.

HOWEVER, the first test I needed to have done was an Upper GI, the appointment was set for yesterday, Sat, 1/7 and I was disappointment with the center I was sent to, it was in a very grimy, sad looking building, with an inadequate staff and tons of people. I was not that bothered by that until after I was called inside the xray tech advised me that they would not be able to do the test because their equipment was not made to use on persons over 300lbs. You can imagine my shock, how could my surgeons office make such a stupid mistake and send me to a center that could not tailor to larger persons when this is what they do! I was embarrassed and upset at the waste of time.

My surgeons office was closed because it was a Saturday, so I sent an email to the advocate assigned to me and copied the doctor. I really hope this was just a fluke and they could take care of this. I want to get the best pre op care possible, I'm so paranoid it's the only thing that will make me feel a bit more secure on surgery day to know that at least everything that could be tested for before had was done. 

Tomorrow I'm starting on a low carb diet to help me lose as much weight as possible before my surgery, I will be on this diet for 3 weeks before I have to start the 2 week pre-op diet assigned by my dr. We will see how it goes.

I think for me the dieting and all the preparation I have to go through will not bother me as much as the fear of the surgery and any complications after surgery, but that is the one thing out of my hands and I must leave that to fate.

 

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And on the first day.....
on December 31, 2011 7:05 am
I'm one week a way from my consultation appointment (thur, jan 5) and I'm already feeling anxious. You should all know that I'm an extreme paranoid, everything worries me and I somehow always think the worst out of health situations. That is one of my concerns for after I have my surgery is if every little symptom I feel is going to make me think its something life threatening.

I was never like that before but approximately 7 years ago I lost a few persons that were very close to me back to back including my brother and a best friend, they all passed away at a young age and I think that traumatized me in a way to make me feel that life is extremely fragile (which it is) but maybe more so in my head.

So now I'm ready to get the weight loss process started but the idea of the surgery and complications has me a little frazzled. BUT on the other hand I am trying to keep myself leveled by thinking of how healthy I'm going to feel again, how I might possibly find myself again, I can go shopping with my girlfriends again and even look pretty AND SEXY again. It's so hard to look back and see the way I let myself go and how I lost the person I used to be. Although I always had a weight problem, when I was able to take a hold and work out and be healthy, I loved myself and never had self esteem issues, which I think is difficult for most women to say even skinny ones! lol

I can't wait to run around with my son and make him exercises (he's lazy lol), do outdoor activities with my husband. We used to always go kayaking and the last time we went (close to a year ago) they wouldn't let us rent a tandem kayak because I was too heavy and gave me one made to ride by 2 persons to use just by myself. I was with my best friend and my husband and of course was humiliated!! In my true 'Sheila' fashion I made jokes and shrugged it off but we have never gone kayaking again. So I have made a promise to myself that as soon as I lose enough weight I will be going to rent a one person kayak and taking a damn picture to post!! lol

For those of you that have been brave enough to friend me on this site you will see plenty of posts from me, I think writing down (typing), speaking about things that bother or scare you is important because it takes their power away some. When we leave thoughts in our heads to ourselves they can consume us and give the illusion of being worse than what they really are. I was happy to find this website where I can share my fears and know that I am not alone.

I'll keep you all (or myself) ongoingly posted and let's see what happens. I'm looking forward to 2012 and hope it's the year where I get my life back.

- Sheila

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My Story

My story is like many of yours, I was an overweight kid always. I am one out of 5 siblings. Funny enough ALL my siblings have always been skinny, including my 2 sisters that "suffered" from being too thin when we were kids. Mind you, they ate more than I did. No, no I do not have a thyroid problem, after many visits to doctors over the years it comes down to basically a slower metabolism than them.

I've always been a happy person, even when i was overweight in my teens, it bothered me at times but not too much. I think now that I'm in my 30's and it's affecting my health and after I was already almost skinny for about a decade it REALLY bothers me.

I had my son Jordan when I was 22, his father and I were not together for long after, we separated when Jordan was 1-1/2 and it was just him and I for a long time and I LOVED it. I think it made us very close and we bonded in a special way. My issues with my weight also scare me because I want to set a good example for him, his father also has weight issues. Thankfully we both work hard to try and keep Jordan eating healthy and active but I believe the best way to teach is by example.

I met my husband Albert in 2008 and we quickly became a family, before him I never had the desire to live with anyone I liked my little world with just Jordan and me, but as I got a little older and met Al (who is great) I knew it was time to settle down. I have an amazing and supportive husband and can't imagine having married anyone else.

However right after I met him is when I lost control of my weight and I feel bad that he was only able to see that old me for a brief period before I began gaining weight and losing myself. I hope to have that girl that he met back soon. I currently work for a roofing contractor here in Miami, Florida where I was born and raised. I'm the accounting manager and have been with them for 3 years.

That's just a little about me and my life.....