ObesityHelp

 Wow, this surgery has been WAY harder than I ever imagined.  They weighed me right before surgery and I was at 269.  I remember waking up and being in a lot more pain than any other surgery I've had (although gallbladder was close, especially since with that one I vomited for 2 hours!).  They tried various pain meds until they found something that helped a bit.  I don't remember a lot, was kind of in and out the first day.  Thankfully no vomiting, just lots of pain.  The next day they took me down for a swallow test.  That was awful.  That stuff is so nasty to drink and having to stand there still and hold my breath...uggg.  But I survived and didn't throw up!

I was on oxygen and continued to be on it until Wednesday mid-day.  They had to adjust the pain meds a bit too, morphine didn't help at all and a lot of pain meds make me sick.  I can't remember what I ended up on, but it was ok.  Lots of headaches though.  Got to have jello and broth after the swallow study.....I chewed the jello even.  Didn't really want to eat, but forced myself to take in some.

I was suppose to go home Wednesday morning, but since I was still having trouble breathing and getting around, the doctor kept me another day and had PT come up to work with me on walking around and I kept on using that annoying breathing exercise thing.  Couldn't get the stupid thing to work right, but used it....  

Thursday I was discharged around 2pm or so.  Stopped at the pharmacy on the way back to my parents house for the liquid pain med and nausea med.  Of course they were not finished, then had trouble with my insurance....I was waiting in the car, so couldn't even help with the insurance mix up.

Anyway, it's now Saturday and I'm getting around so-so.  Still really sore, but having the most trouble with headaches and a sore stiff neck.  Can't sleep very well because I just don't sleep well on my back.  Uggg..  Going to try back on my bipap tonight  and maybe that will help.....I doubt it since I never really have been able to tell a difference, but you never know I guess.  Still worried about the amount of pressure into my new stomach, but hopefully I'm  healed up enough now not to cause any issue.  The doctor said to wait 4 or 5 days.  Normally they don't even stop people on cpap or bipap, but I often got so much air in my stomach during the night that I would wake up in a lot of pain.

Not liking this JP drain much, but hopefully the doctor will remove it on Wednesday.  I had a scare Thursday night with it!  Woke up early in the morning Friday and there was blood all over my nightgown and the bed.  I thought that I had pulled it out or something!  Went in to see the surgeon that afternoon so he could check and said it was ok, just keep an eye on it.  So that's what I'm doing.  Quite a bit of drainage around it, but not enough to soak through the dressing.

Getting in all the fluid and protein is hard, but I'm working at it.

I'm so scared!!!  My surgery is on Monday, but I'm already a stressed out mess.  My older son and I came up to Great Falls today where I will have my surgery (my parents live here).  I think being away from home and my husband and little one is making things harder.  Not as much to distract myself with.

I'm trying to do some deep breathing and relax, but my whole body is stiff and I keep grinding my teeth!!!  I hate it when I do that.

Anyway, going to get someone to take a picture of me tomorrow so I will be sure to have a "before" shot.  I forgot my tape measure, but I'm sure my Mom has one somewhere, so will have to borrow it.  I have not done any measurements other than weight, but I really want to be able to see that I'm actually losing, even if the scale is not moving as quickly as I would like.

Ok, it's after midnight and I better get to bed.

Tomorrow I start my pre-op diet for my gastric bypass on October 15, 2012.  It's been a long time coming.  I'm scared, excited, worried, curious....so many things.

Hoping this will change my life for the better!

It's been over a year since I saw the surgeon in Great Falls.  I was stupid and didn't find a way to pay for the supervised weightloss that the insurance required.  Now I've lost my chance to have my private insurance cover any of it.

We had awesome insurnace, why did the University have to mess with it?  Arrggg.....why is everything about money?

Anyway, I should qualify for Medicare to pay for my surgery, well 80% of it (after deductible and copays).  I just don't know where the rest of it will come from.  I just know I need to do something.

Went to the doctor yesterday and they weighed me.  I have gained 10 pounds since March!!  What the heck have I been eating???  I didn't think I was doing that bad.  I didn't think I had lost any, but I thought I would be around the same.

My knees are in pain all the time now, my feet hurt, my ankles hurt, my back and neck hurt.  I don't know how I don't have diabetes or high blood pressure yet.  I know the way I'm going, it's just a matter of time.

I wish they did weight loss surgery here, but no....they don't.  The closest hospital is 2 hours away, but they aren't a "Medicare Center of Excellence" so Medicare wouldn't pay for surgery there.  I'll have to go up to Great Falls.  At least my parents live there.

I feel so hopeless right now, like nothing is ever going to get any better.  My depression is worse, probably from the weight and the pain associated with it.  I hate me.  When I see myself in a picture or in a mirror or even a reflection in glass....I hate myself.  I was so thin growing up.  What happened?

Well, I'll call the other doctor in Great Falls tomorrow, maybe they will be more helpful with info about the financial side of things.

FINALLY got in to the nutritionist yesterday.  It went well.  Had trouble remembering what I normally eat, so I now have to keep a food journal.  I eat less when I do, but of course then am hungry and cranky the whole time.  She did say I can have as much in the way of fruit and veggies as I want.....so that is nice.  Will have to get back to Costco for some more raspberries!

Been trying to get into this adult wellness program that sounds like what insurance wants, but they won't pay for it!  And looks like it's $50-$60 for the first few visits.  My only other option is to see if I might have obesity hypoventilation syndrome.  If  I do, then I can get the same services under pulmonary rehab, which would be covered.  Don't know if I have that or not.  I'm out of breath a lot, but I just assumed it was because I'm overweight and that there was nothing that could be done about it other than losing weight.  When I'm sitting at the doctor's office my oxygen level is always really good (99 or 100), so not sure what it is when I'm walking around or doing something.

Anyway, at least I'm getting the nutritionist stuff done.  I go see her again the beginning of June.