Yesterday was 2 months since my surgery.  So far I have lost more than half of my goal loss.  I still have 68 pounds to go.  I am so happy.  I am off diabetes meds and off my high blood pressure meds too!  I have the same energy I had at 16 and my knees don't constantly hurt now.  I even sleep better.  I am working out at least 4 (usually more) times weekly.  My daily calorie average is about 800.  I am trying to get better on that as that is the minimum they set for me as they said I am losing too fast and not taking in enough calories. 
Spring is here and with all this new energy I can't wait to get planting :)))  I am so thankful for this new lease on life!

Hello.  A lot has happened since the last time I wrote.  Today is the first day since surgery that I feel like I have a great amount of energy.  I know it's still very early and I don't want to overdo it.  I am still sore.  I feel happier than I've felt in a long time though.  When I stepped on the scale this morning I was very pleased.  I've lost 27 pounds in just 11 short days.  I know that I'm newly out and this rate of loss will not stay, but still I have an ear-to-ear smile :)))) 
I am still on the pureed foods.  I drink one protein shake made of 10 oz. water, 2 scoops Max protein power and 1/4 cup egg beaters (296 calories/56 gm protein) and I drink it over the course of a day.  I usually eat 1-2 TBSP food 3-4 times daily.  I know I should be eating more often as per my dr's instructions (5-6 meals daily), but food just isn't appealing right now.  I have kinda cheated.  I drank about 4 TBSP dill pickle juice on 2 occasions now.  I know I shouldn't have, but I have only been craving 1 food since the surgery and that's dill pickles.  My 1 month appt is scheduled for March 7th.  I have been journaling everything I do (my food, my protein shakes, my pills, etc) each day as per my Dr's instructions. 
I can't wait for Spring when the weather is nice and I've dropped some weight and have energy and I can work in the garden.  I love to garden.  The past few years I have been forced to slow down though because of my weight.  This year I hope to do it big lol :)

Ugh, here I sit at 10 pm knowing I will be leaving for surgery at 4 am and I know there's no way I am sleeping tonight.  I keep thinking about all the what ifs.  What if I die?  What if I have horrible complications?  What if I am miserible not being able to eat the things I have turned to for comfort for years?  What if I fail?  My mind will not shut up.  I know I am not the first and won't be the last person to go through this, but it's very nerve-racking. 
Today my youngest son (12 years old) came home and told me "Mom, my teacher said that your surgery is a major surgery and it's dangerous."  What the heck is that woman thinking telling my child this?  I mean he knows about the surgery and what to expect, but I didn't want him to have those details.  That makes me so mad! 
I have been praying a lot about this, but it doesn't stop my worrying and I didn't want my kids worrying more than they need to.  I think I eased him mind some after we talked about it some more.  I sure hope so!

Oh, I can't put into words the mix of emotions I am having right now.  Today was my preop appt.  It went well and Dr. Mikami was very patient and kind answering all my questions.  He made me feel much better about the surgery.  I am still nervous, but I feel that I will be in very capable hands and I have been praying about this often as well.  My date is February 8th (2 weeks from tomorrow).  I am happy/excited/scared/nervous, oh my!  I will try and update as soon as possible after the surgery.  The next 2 weeks will probably be sooooo slow.................

1-4-2011
Great news!  Yesterday I got the call I've been waiting for :)  I now have my pre op appt 1-24-2011.  I hope that surgery won't be far behind.  I have been busy today making a list of concerns and questions for the doc.  I want to make sure I have everything ready (vitamins, food, etc) for when I come home from surgery also.  I have been making extra food for the family and freezing so hopefully I won't have to cook much until I feel better.  My hubby has been acting stragely since I got the call yesterday.  He doesn't seem happy or excited at all.  I know it must be that he's nervous about the surgery I guess.  I asked him if that was it and he said he's not acting strangely, but it seems like it to me.  Maybe because I am so excited I expect him to be also, I don't know.  I am just a bundle of nerves right now. 
I know Dr. Mikami doesn't require a liver shrink diet, but I did get some Slim-Fast the other day to try and lose a few pounds before the surgery to hopefully make the surgery and recovery go a little better, but I haven't started it yet and have been pigging out on foods I know I won't have again or see much of after the surgery.  I know that's bad, but it's kinda like I am saying goodbye to some old friends. 
I haven't really told a lot of people that I'm doing the surgery because the reactions I have got have been lukewarm at best.  Everyone says "Have you tried everything else?"  "Are you sure it's a good idea?", "You don't seem that heavy to me" (that last one makes me puke because I know they're lying....I mean seriously, I do have mirrors in my house".  I don't have much support.  My best friend is also obese but she seems against the surgery.  My Mom and Dad aren't here anymore.  My husband says he wants me to be healthy so if this surgery will make me healthier then he wants me to have it but he insists that he's more attracted to larger women (even though he dated thinner women before me and I weighed 130 pounds when we started dating).  I just wish 1 person in my life was supportive.  Because of my hubby's doubts I think my kids have doubts too.  Ha, my kids asked me "How will you still have muscles when you're skinnier?"  Hopefully the next time I post I will have a surgery date.  Prayers are much appreciated :)