Down 65 for the past month :0

Mar 03, 2011

Woo, I think I've hit a self-imposed wall.

Since I've had a month of going up and down 3-4lbs past the -65 mark.. I've had time to analyze myself and my mental ability to keep losing weight.  I'm avoiding it.

I'm not avoiding looking forward to being thinner, I'm still enjoying my hipbones and new bruisable parts and wider smile.

I just keep giving myself a break. Constantly. My hurting hip doesn't help, it's been 'out' of alignment (or re-aligning itself) for maybe 5 weeks now. It doesn't hurt like before, and I can pop it now but the muscles on my lower back side are what seem to be wondering what's going on with it. I keep meaning to see a chiropractor since my massage therapist friend already tried to fix it and says I need one. Poo. 
I let myself eat whatever I crave sometimes then go back on protein/veggie meals for a few days. I have had cookies. I had cheesecake for my birthday. I even have eggnoodle pasta. The most I've gained back is 6lbs in a week, and that could be hydration since nothing fit differently. I dunno. I'm still feeling like a dumbass.

Anyhoo! 
It's like I know I'm on the cusp of being cute and slightly flooby (new word! loose flab) to getting all raisin-like and floopity. I don't want to build up more muscle it makes me look manly. Also I'm on the cusp of being bugged by my mom because the change in looks will bother her. That I thought I was ready to handle. Oh well.

My thighs are driving me insane. My thighs have thighs. At least I can tuck my panni into something but my thighs! Ugh! It's like something explodied down there. I'm hoping they are shrinking but just slowly and I'm not noticing. D:

My arms have wings and will get worse, I know this. I am using weights and such but the more muscle definition I get the more scared I get lol!

Okay anyway. I haven't gone back over 200 and I'm damn proud of that. I'm wearing size 12 panfs and I look awesome in em. I have two garbage bags full of old clothes sized 16 to 22.

I have a pair of pants i waited 8 years to wear that look awesome on me.
Yay!!



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About Me
Kelowna BC, XX
Location
30.2
BMI
VSG
Surgery
08/02/2010
Surgery Date
Feb 25, 2008
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