ObesityHelp

It's definitely a bit of a roller coaster. Both good and bad days. I did get a lot of rest in my 2wks off from work - lots of naps, but i also worked out daily... no matter what i made sure i did something.

As of yesterday I have lost a total of 26lbs since surgery. 26lbs in 14days is not bad at all. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I have been weighing myself daily - which i know some do not recommend doing, but want to in the beginning so i get an idea of the fluctuations and what is affecting the weight... i'm making short notes on every day's activity and if i'm on my period or not - this will help me to mentally tell myself - no, you did not just gain 2lbs, you're actually about to start you're period, you're a woman - it's part of the package. hahah.

those tics up do mess with you though - frustrating. but i know i need to keep looking at the bigger picture. 26lbs in 14days - HOT DAMN!!!

it's getting a little easier to watch rest of family eat, but i do find myself getting irritable when i start to smell the smells of someone cooking and realize there's no way in hell i could eat what they're making. it's just mind hunger - i do miss being able to just stuff the food in my mouth as fast as possible. i know that sounds gross, but its true --- not that i particularly like the fact that's what i miss, but i do find that's what is hardest right now. that and not being able to drink while eating - damn that's hard.

i went to KFC yesterday and ordered a small mashed potato, i never realized how small a SMALL was... and get this - i could only eat HALF OF IT!!! half for afternoon snack, and then i ate the other half for dinner with a tiny bit of spaghetti sauce and literally the TIP of a piece of fried boneless/skinless chicken my mom had made - i then mashed that into oblivion and ate -- it was DELISH!!! hahaha

so yes, things are going good - healthwise - i'm GREAT.
mentally - it's a bit of a struggle, still coming to terms with it all
working out daily is starting to become a habit... i like it - husband has been walking with me and that has been nice. we also started walking through the hills and around the lake at my mom's home and it's absolutely beautiful walk and a bit strenuous at times with the hills... so it makes for a nice workout. i like it - i think i like it better than the flat park that i was walking three times around for 45min... this walk at her place is actually invigorating - there's no one there walking, except maybe a dog owner here and there... and the lake shines and glistens through the trees from the sun with backdrop of mountain... all in GEORGIA!!!!  LOVE IT!!!

working on getting in 64oz of water this week - have been closer to 50oz past 2wks... time to step it up.

my son is back, and i already see a difference with me and him, i'm more active now and more involved... i missed him and i am glad he's back!!!!

oh, i also started back to work yesterday - that wasn't too bad. i had a lunch packed and a thermos that held 2 serving of protein shake, so i hit that up on way home and drank one on way in... at work i had fage, egg drop soup and cottage cheese in lunch box.... only ate the egg drop soup... and was satisfied. would have ate either the fage or cottage cheese as afternoon snack, but dumb me did not put an iceblock in lunch box so they were kinda warm... ewwww - so i trashed those and just stop at KFC on way home and had the HALF OF SMALL mached potatoes - hit the spot. next time, put an ice block in bag... drink more water.

a little worried about upcoming travel, may have to be out of town for a week... a week's worth of meetings, trainings, catered business lunches and client dinners - ACK!!! what do i do!??!?!?!?

It's been 1 week and i can honestly say it has not been bad at all. I've had no horror stories, no side effects and oh, i lost 20lbs in the first week!!!

since first day home from hospital i've been walking 1-2miles per day -- my goal is to walk 45min per day until doc clears me for full exercises.


i still have not found a protein powder i like, i tasted one today i had to dump down the drain after the first sip.


i'm feeling VERY GOOD - i've been taking pics in a bathing suit... goal is to take same angle pics in that bathing suit every sunday evening - i noticed a difference in the first week comparison, kinda scary what it could be in 2, 4, 6months!!!


i did finally come clean with my brother and sister-in-law about the surgery, they seemed surprised but supportive. I did not tell them, but being smaller than others in my family for once is like a little competitive game i've got going in my head. I have officially passed my brother , who is 2.8yrs my younger but he's 6'4", so he never "looks" fat... he's just a big guy... for once i weigh less than him, next is to have a lower BMI than him - LOL. i look forward to the day i weigh less than my husband!!! 


Hormones would probably be my only vice right now, i've been on my period, a heavy one in comparison to few months prior to surgery - and husband and i have been arguing a bit, which we haven't done in a while. but he went for walk with me today and that felt good; hopefully they stay to the wayside for a while - we've been through too much for hormones to flair back up and bite us. he's been very supportive though.

I miss my son, he's at his grandparents for the week so that i can rest and heal before starting back to work next week (2wks off) and my husband doesn't go insane... man i miss that little turdhead!!!  AMAZING how quiet it is around here without him...

i have to be at the hospital at 6am. bags are packed. i put on bathing suit and took before pics - front back and side. i'm not ready to post them yet - there are many people i have not told about this surgery - and at this point i'm not so sure i will tell them... we'll see - what happens, happens.

i had a wonderful weekend with my husband and son. just had a good time together and did not worry about the hard core weekend chores, just did a quick pickup so that we have more time to just chill out together.

my husband seems a bit nervous, he seems a little excited though. i hope he realizes through all of this, how much his support and love have meant. he's my rock, i love him more than words can say. we were meant for each other ... and i plan to spend the rest of my life enjoying it with him by my side.

when facing a surgery like this, we all of course reflect - there are risks to this surgery. death being one. i've spent the weekend looking at my son and tearing up. i know in my heart of hearts i'll be okay - if for some reason i'm not - i have faith and trust in my husband that he will raise a fine young man that remembers the person his mommy was. However, i will put up a fight like always - so my husband will just have to put up with my input on raising our son together. -grin-

i'm very nervous, very excited - i'm ready. my last meal was popcorn and diet coke at the movies, i think nerves have already got me, because i haven't felt like eating anything much today... i've taken my ambien, so that way i get a good nights sleep (doc said it was okay) ...

my husband has taken off from work the next three days - to be by my side and to take care of our son. my mom is here spending the night, to take my son to daycare and then she'll be over at the hospital too (his daycare doesn't open until 6:30 and i've got to be at hospital by 6). her support through all of this has been unlike any other ... as always, she's 100% supportive and has been by my side during every appointment leading up to today.

look out boys (my husband and son) ... you think we were on the go before!??!  hahahaha - on your mark, get set .... HERE WE GO!!!!!

i got my paperwork yesterday. i joked that they should send a shovel along with the paperwork as they included a copy of the letter Dr Williams sent to my insurance company... i'm one foot in the grave!!!  Not totally, but close, i think it was a bit of a wakeup call though.

My insurance was denied, as i knew it would be - we are on my husband's insurance and they have an actual exclusion that specifically refers to RNY/WLS... so my husband agreed  we could self pay. We'll be doing so for the next 4yrs to pay it off... but i am definitely ready for this. i think he knows how much it means to me. i am blessed to have him in my life. i'm doing my best to keep nerves in check and not let them get dumped on to him... not fair to him.

they said it's advised to lose weight prior to surgery and to definitely not gain weight. No real restrictions (liquid diets and such) except for nothing after midnight before surgery and to NOT gorge on last meal either. Also said that i should not take any anti-inflamatories week prior to surgery - no more advil... it's a long relationship that will be hard to break.

Wouldn't you know, late last night i would have loved to take some - my lower back was really sore (i have degenerative disc disease) - advil usually helps... instead i fell asleep on the heating pad (lucky for me my husband comes to bed after me so hopefully he's checking to make sure i'm no a rabbit-flam-bet (sp?) by morning.

I decided today to drop any and all sweet drinks - i'm not a big soda fan, but i do live in georgia and have become a fan of sweet tea - extra lemon. So as of today - no more. no sugar in coffee either. Figured it would help ensure i do NOT gain prior to surgery, possibly lose a bit, and after surgery its not allowed anyway - so why wait??

I go for preOp tomorrow. my only conern at this point is the fact that my iron is almost always low. i forgot to mention this prior, until i saw a recent post from someone else about it - that their surgery was rescheduled due to low iron.. i took multi vitamin and will take again this eve - why didn't i think of this earlier??  i hope all is fine. A little nervous about tomorow - but yesterday's post did allow me to release fears and let in the good vibes.

It has reminded me of when i was doing yoga heavily - we had a small group that met on saturday mornings in a gym off of Peachtree street. cars whizzing by - and the most awesome yoga instructor that would lead us through the best visualizations - i was reminded of her techniques and have been using them as i lay or sit quietly or think to myself and nerves start going.... light coming in through head and spreading down through body to tips of toes and around and creating a huge ball of energy, calm energy within... nice.

stay with it K, stay with it.

my husband is not going to inlaws and they are not coming here. i just think the stress of it all would be too much the weekend before. i asked husband if we could jsut have a nice family weekend. just the three of us. i think we're going to take our son to the zoo on saturday - we mentioned it to him - he's very excited. instead of "good night moon" book last night, we read "good night gorilla". i love that little terd-head. my little bubba.