make a big damn difference

I wouldn't make it as a famous person for two seconds.
 
Hollywood spin has always been cruel but I saw it at it's worst last night. Entertainment Tonight did a story about overweight stars. The story started with Mary Hart saying"Oprah chowing down on corn dogs" and a skinny blonde woman (like me except mean) said "Oprah clearly isn’t serious about her weight loss if she’s eating like this."   Corn dogs, as in plural.   They proceed to show Oprah eating "a" corn dog during her visit to the Texas State Fair in Dallas, Texas.  

It's a rule, when you go to the Texas State Fair you must eat a Fletcher's corn dog.

Hey folks....you can be shot for less than that in Texas. Oprah was here doing her show, hundreds of people at the fair showing her around and shoving food in her face because that's what people do at the fair.   Apparently "In Touch" magazine will be printing an equally cruel article this week so they jumped on the Oprah/corn dog picture right away....added the meany blonde who ruins it for all blondes and the "O" story continues.   I feel for Oprah.   She'll probably not be making any return trips back to the State Fair of Texas any time soon. They are probably making edits to the Oprah show at this very minute on any dialogue referring to corn dogs and I wouldn't blame them.   By the way...even though you won't catch me eating "things super bad for me" very often, I WILL be having a corn dog if I make it to the fair this year.  

Remember, it's the law.

WOW What a time we had in Dallas!! I spoke and I was so happy my husband and my dad and stepmom came too. Awesome new faces and even TWELVE members in attendance from the first OH Event in Arlington 2004. I so wish we had gotten a group picture of us...


Happy reunions getting to see long time friends that are rarely in Dallas. Bo is smiling huh?

And so many good talks and fun at the fashion show. (I let my freak flag fly in the floppy hat)












Thanks to someone else for the fashion show shot but unfortunately we didn't get everyone in.



And then the big event of the day was....Ramon asking Debra to marry him!

Like Bo said, you just never know what you're going to see at an Obesity Help event do you?

I hope to have the videos I did during my presentation up for viewing soon. One was a tribute to the many lives that Obesity Help has saved and the second one was a tribute to Kirk Thompson. (Crow)


We lost a beautiful man this year and it was important to pay homage to him and Bo's words could not have been better chosen.



If you'd like to see the entire album of pictures, you can view them here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/justyvonne/OHDallas09?feat=directlink

So thank you to everyone that participated and made this a time that shall never be forgotten.
Many blessings to the many that showed me so much love...it was so much appreciated.
Love and light, Yvonne

Today I heard Oprah and Dr. Oz are in the process of suing several companies who claimed they endorsed a particular product...one is called acai berry. After this product appeared on the show, the company went crazy selling the stuff, touting endorsement with pictures of both Oprah and Dr. Oz on the product. They finally said "not so fast". Lately it seems I can't go anywhere on the internet without beng assualted by acai berry ads. This is the phenomena of Oprah. Any time she endorses anything or even looks like she is, the product becomes an overnight success.
So let's assume Oprah were to have weight loss surgery. First of all she has to deal with the cameras on her 24/7.

Will she fail?
Or scarier, will she succeed?

If she succeeds, I can only imagine all the masses of uneducated people following suit....wanting surgery....thinking it is a magic pill. As much as Oprah does, if she were to have WLS she would cause thousands to suddenly seek it out. There are not enough docs or facilities available to handle all the people that would follow her. And then she would have to deal with the possible deaths that would could occur from sheer numbers of percentages. That would be more than she or the Oprah empire could handle.

Oprah is also human and surely she has fear just like the rest of us. Don't you believe that she is also feeling like she may fail yet again just like we all thought? And if she doesn't fail and actually makes it work, there will be a massive stampede. In a way Oprah is between a rock and a hard place. Even if she spent tons of time educating people about the process there would still be the irresponsible souls that would do it anyway. When they fail because of inadequate education, it would be Oprah's fault.

Wow, never have I been so grateful not to be in Oprah's place. Yep.... she has fame and fortune but not only does it not make you happy, sometimes it is the very reason you have backed yourself into a corner that you can't get out of.

Be careful what you ask for....
Be grateful for what you have....
And most importantly, no one has a perfect life because of being skinny or having tons of money.
And best of all...maybe...just maybe the acai berry will go away.

Special thanks to Ms. Fatty for interviewing me!
MsFatty.com Home / Around The Interwebs / Fireside Chat with The Bariatric Girl
    Fireside Chat with The Bariatric Girl
Remember, if you are severely obese, bariatric surgery remains a legitimate option for you in your weight loss journey.
I’ve posted here about my online pal, The Bariatric Girl. Today I’m going to post the little fireside chat we had about weight loss surgery recently. Enjoy!
 

1. Yvonne, you have been fighting obesity your entire life; tell us something about the transformation of your mind that happened during the transformation of your body?My mind lagged well behind my body and that still hasn’t gone away entirely. Old habits die hard and so did the memories of my body. The strange one was when I was in the grocery store and felt like people walking by were literally on top of me. I was so used to people going around me and since I don’t require as much room, they walk closer and it was almost claustrophobic at first but I’ve adjusted.
2. One thing that we’ve discussed via email is how our “no cheat rule” has contributed to success. A lot of people think that having the bariatric surgery is the “easy way out” in a sense, because you’ll never have to worry about wanting to cheat ; ie, no self control needed after you get the surgery, it just “happens.” Further reading into this topic though, and you will find that some people that have had the surgery actually cheat and get fat again. I’m sure having a tiny pouch that you can’t fit a lot of food into helps tremendously, but if some people are still getting fat, then it seems to me that yes, a transformation of mind in also necessary. Talk to us a little bit about why you feel a no cheat rule works for you and why some people gain back all that weight even after surgery.
ABSOLUTELY. We did not get brain surgery. We just got a smaller stomach but if we don’t change what we were doing before, you can go back to obesity or switch to something new to abuse or another method to self medicate. Now you’re pretty safe the first year because your metabolism is still being tricked so you can eat pretty much what you want and still lose weight. We call that the honeymoon period. Approximately after a year that’s over with so it’s just like being put magically into this thinner body but your metabolism has smartened up. You must start the lifestyle change immediately after surgery because if you wait until the honeymoon period is over, it is much MUCH more difficult because you’re days of losing no matter what are pretty much done. For me that was a good trade. Take me back to normal and I promise to eat right and get some exercise….like getting a do over. If you start right after surgery, you’ve had a year of forming good habits.
With certain kinds of weight loss surgery it is designed to make you ill if you eat certain things like too much sugar. The truth is you will lose your cravings if you stop eating something completely. The no cheat rule makes it black and white. I look at sugar as poison so it’s very simple. I tried to stop drinking Coke for years and the funny thing is…now I don’t even remember what a Coke tastes like. The reason some people gain weight back is because they didn’t deal with the issues in their head that causes them to use food to self medicate. There’s another group of people that gain back 20-40 pounds and end up being more miserable than when they weighed 300 pounds. You must fight to keep that goal weight when you reach it or a whole bunch of head games start telling you that you’ve failed again. It may seem impossible to most that a woman that has lost over 100 pounds can feel like a failure because she’s gained back 20 pounds but it happens every day. We must learn what really makes us happy in life and what we want will follow. FOLLOW YOUR BLISS! Don’t expect the bad or that’s what you’ll get.

  3. Let’s talk about shakes. I know that people that have had bariatric surgery often live on these things for the first few months. I haven’t had the surgery, but I enjoy the unrefined, low sugar shakes I prepare myself as meal replacements. Have any good suggestions or recipes for the kind of highly nutritious shakes bariatric people use?
I actually still drink a shake every morning. It’s super important to put something in your body for breakfast so you won’t throw your body into starvation mode. When you do eat, the body hangs on to those calories like crazy because after sleeping for 8 hours and then waiting hours to eat after waking makes your body think it’s starving. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. I actually drink MetRX extreme chocolate. I put a lot of ice in it and blend it so it comes out like a chocolate shake…at least as much as I can remember a chocolate shake. There is a great blog called “the world according to Eggface” that has some of the best recipes for weight loss people. Great recipes and a great blog!
4. Talk to us about exercise. I hate exercise. I have a rebounder and that’s the only thing I do; it is excellent. Do you love/hate exercise? What exercise has been the most entertaining for you? What is the most useful for health?
I always hated exercise but I am asked often if I “work out”. I found yoga. Many people automatically assume that yoga is only for people that can bend like a pretzel. For me yoga is like slow dancing by yourself but at the same time you are increasing your range of motion and burning calories. It is said that ten minutes of yoga is as good as an hour on the treadmill. There are great videos online for beginner yoga and there’s a great DVD called “Heavyweight Yoga” that you can get at www.heartfeltyoga.com. I think it’s super important that you find something you like and something that is easy to do. I can do yoga anywhere, anytime. If you absolutely cannot find an exercise you like, then dance! Walk your dog. It has been proven that exercise can be a huge benefit to people that are depressed. Whatever you do, it’s just really important not to “hate” it. If you believe it’s a drag, it will be!
5. What is a typical day of meals and drinks for you?
Well you might be surprised. I have completely changed the way I feel about food. I look at it as fuel. For me I had to not look at food as a sexual experience anymore. If every time we went to fill up with gas there was an ocean breeze (in Texas), dancing naked men (or women), hot music etc…. well you’d be wanting to go get gas again sooner than necessary. I eat as boring as possible because it works for me. I look forward to that shake in the morning and the rest of the day is mostly protein. I try to eat vegetables and fruit in the right amounts. The more water you can drink the better. I actually hate water so I have to put something in it to make it possible for me to drink. There are so many things on the market that you’ll find one you like if you keep looking. I know a lot of people don’t want to hear this answer about boring food but too much food and the wrong food is the substance that makes me an unhappy person. I will not go back to the obese person I was and food can no longer be the end all/be all for me. It is fuel and I cannot afford for it to be the thing I look to for self medication of my anxiety in life. Food is fuel now…no longer a drug.

  6. Do you have a favorite “appetite busting” food or drink?
I love these meat sticks called “Ostrim”. You can put them in your car or purse or pocket and it doesn’t matter what temperature they are. When you are out somewhere and you allowed yourself to get so hungry that you’ll eat anything you will certainly mess up. Ostrim meat sticks keep me from going through that drive through when I shouldn’t. They come in 4 flavors and taste great. Being prepared for what you’ll eat each day will keep you out of a lot of trouble in the long run.
  7. I gotta ask… when you were fat, did you have really wide feet and a hard time finding shoes to wear? If so, after you lost the weight, did your feet return to a normal width? This is a crisis issue with some fatties I know, including myself. When I got fat I could no longer wear pretty shoes.
I was asked this just the other day. I lost a shoe size but some have reported as much as a size and a half. And yes you can wear those pretty shoes again. I know when I was obese, it was so painful and I really didn’t feel like putting those pretty shoes on my big body. I’ve made up for a lot of lost time now.
  8. If someone is considering bariatric surgery, give us a spiel on your best advice for them.
My best advice would be to go online and research people that have succeeded and ask them how. Ask them what they did that make the difference between success and failure. You can find a ton of things for and against anything you research. Some people have lost loved ones due to surgery and they are just as upset as you would expect them to be. You will find blogs telling you that you are an idiot to consider it. For various reasons you will find blogs that say it’s the easy way out.
I also know people who have lost their lives because they were obese…one was a friend of mine. If you have tried and I mean sincerely tried and failed tons of diets, and if you are ready to sincerely put the effort into the lifestyle change, you could be a candidate. Even though it is difficult to believe, you also cannot buy into the belief that when you lose all the weight that your life will be perfect. You must be willing to educate yourself on what’s going on in your head and how you got obese in the first place. Choosing to have weight loss surgery is an extremely personal decision that no one should ever push on someone else. All I can do is live my life as an example and show others what a successful weight loss surgery journey looks like. You are the person that lives in your body so it’s your decision. Just like anything you do in your life that is a major undertaking, talk to those that have been in the trenches. My blog in particular will tell you a lot about what to expect.
9. In your layman’s opinion, what do you think is the best surgery, that is the safest and with the best outcomes?
The best surgery is the one you decide to have. It is important to go to a surgeon that offers all of them. Some want lapband because you can reverse it. Some want something else because they don’t want a foreign body inside them and have to go back for fills. Some don’t want their guts rearranged. That’s why it is so important to talk to your bariatric doctor because he or she is trained to ask those questions so that you can pick what is best for you.
I have known people that have succeeded and failed with every kind of surgery and even though you will see a lot of fighting online about which surgery is the best, that’s between you and your doctor and whether your insurance will cover it or not. Some people do not have insurance and self pay. The thing that is important is believing in the one you pick. Treat it as the miracle it is and show your surgery some respect. If you go in expecting failure, that’s what you’ll get. Don’t let naysayers rent space in your head. There’s always someone that will have something nasty or critical to say. Surround yourself with successful, happy people and you’ll find it easier to be that way.
  10. What do you look for in a doctor?
Experience and the way you feel when you talk to him/her. Get feedback from his other patients. I am a member of Obesity Help.com and each member has their doctor’s name under their user name. The doctor’s page has feedback from his patients. Check out how extensive the aftercare program is BUT it is far more important to go to a good doc first. A doc with good marketing could make his program look like a million dollars but that doesn’t tell you how good he is. The proof is talking to other patients and asking a lot of questions.   Read more: http://www.msfatty.com/2009/07/29/fireside-chat-with-the-bariatric-girl/#ixzz0MhLuxIEt  

I want to continue on to the next step after figuring out that what other people think of us is not our business. (see this post)


http://bariatricgirl.blogspot.com/2009/01/what-others-think-about-us-is-none-of.html


Talane Miedaner shares in her book "Coach yourself to Success" just how to protect yourself gracefully from unpleasant comments. It is a simple four step communication model that helps us build the boundaries that so many of us do not have. After we find out that it doesn't matter what others think of us, this is a system you can use when someone actually speaks to you in a manner they should not. I believe as weight loss surgery patients that we so often have blurred boundaries because instead of correcting the offending statements, we worry instead about why they don't like us.



Here is how to stop behavior in a graceful and effective manner.

1. Inform. "Do you realize that you are yelling? or, "Do you realize that comment hurt me?" or, "I didn't ask for your feedback." If they continue with the unwanted behavior, then take it up to step 2, but only after you've tried step 1.

2. Request. Ask them to stop. "I ask that you stop telling me now" or, "I ask that you only give me constructive feedback." If they still don't get it and the behavior continues, try step 3.

3. Demand or insist. "I insist that you stop yelling at me now." If they still persist, you take it to the next level.

4.Leave. (without any snappy comebacks or remarks). "I can't continue this conversation while you are yelling at me. I am going to leave the room." If you are in a relationship and the other person doesn't change his or her behavior after you've tried this model numerous times, you may need to leave the relationship and/or get a therapist. The people who REALLY love you will respect your boundaries.


The key to using these steps is to say them in a neutral tone of voice. Do not raise your voice up or down. Keep it calm and flat. You are informing the person...just like you would say "The sky is blue".

Let me repeat one of the sentences! The people that really love you will respect your boundaries. If they don't, then it is time to walk around them and continue on your quest for a better life...your ultimate goal.

It doesn't matter whether you've changed their thinking....it matters that you stop the behavior.

After years of being a total wuss I was surprised when I think back to how I applied this system in one area. Remember I am from the south where this happened a little more often. I particularly have a boundary regarding people using a certain derogatory word for a certain race. To me it is disgusting and cruel. Even though I let people walk all over me in every other area, I drew this line in the sand early on. Every one that knows me a little bit knows this about me and guess what? They never say it in front of me. I can't change how they think but I can change their behavior around me. The people that love me respect my boundaries.

Those of us that have not learned how to form these boundaries will possibly find this difficult to do but why would you allow someone to continue to speak to you in an inappropriate way? We have spent years as obese people taking the abuse leveled at us. It's time to stop the insanity.

Next time someone tells you that you took the easy way out, or you've lost TOO much weight, or you will fail, or whatever comments that we often hear....try it. If you don't respect yourself, how to expect others to respect you?

So here's to stopping the insanity! Remember to use the calm voice so that you can stop the critical voices that you've listened to for so long.