Fought weight all my life. The only way I ever lost any weight was through starving. I've done 90% of the diets in existence and come from a family that is extremely heavy. Had back surgery 2 years ago (two ruptured discs - don't know how). I have terrible back and neck pain, was just diagnosed with high blood pressure, and have had sleep apnea for years. I was finally put on a CPAP for sleep apnea a few months ago. Since losing my mother a few months ago, my depression is beyond comprehension. If someone told me I might die in surgery, right now I wouldn't care. I cannot deal with living the rest of my life feeling like this or looking this way. I was in beauty pageants in college but I'm invisible now. I am qualified to do just about any job from accounting to computer graphics, art, music, photography but I can't put myself through looking for another job knowing what my weight will do to my chances no matter how experienced or good I am. The surgery would give me a chance to get a better job and feel good about myself for the first time in years. I am so capable but not like this. I just had my first consultation. Waiting to see if my insurance plan has a morbid obesity clause... the only thing to stop me cold unless I change jobs for a different insurance company. Praying to God I don't get denied.