In June of 2010 People Magazine they wrote the first  semi positive story about WLS and I begged everyone on the OH forums to write in so we would be mentioned and WE WERE!  You'll reognize a member's name in the picture!  They only do this on the stories that get the most email.  I just posted the following on every other place I could and I'm posting it here in hopes we can do it again.  Here's the post:

Hey guys I've been fading in and out a bit because I had some surgery but this is important so don't be surprised if you see it in more than one place. People Magazine has done a positive story about weight loss surgery regarding Carnie Wilson. Some of you guys have been tough on her but you don't realize there was no education on how to use our tool back then. I had my surgery one year after hers so I can relate. Because she went first she saved my life! We have a chance to make a difference in the history of People Magazine and hit them with enough email to bring WLS out of the closet. If we send enough email we will be mentioned in the mail bag section so I'm asking you to please send an email to editor@people.com and you can ask to be listed as anonymous if you want. Tell them how WLS saved your life, tell them how much you lost, tell them thank you for doing a positive story on WLS but tell them something to help remove the stigma that still exists at People Magazine and with many of their readers. Please pass this on to your friends and your friend's friends. Let's be a part of changing the stigma. 

ORIGINAL POST

 

Carnie Wilson is the reason I had weight loss surgery. Some of us affectionately call each other Carnie babies.  My surgery was about a year after hers.  In 2000 there was no aftercare and maybe a couple of places you could even discuss it online.  We forget how much ridicule Carnie had to endure going first and going so publicly.  The moment I heard about gastric bypass I made the first available appointment for a consultation.  I literally did fifteen minutes of research.

Now Carnie has decided to have a second surgery twelve years later and the comments under the online articles are so incredibly cruel. Not only from the "normies" (as I certainly expected) but also from the weight loss surgery community.  Revisions are very common so we should be accustomed to those. Many of us regain so we should be accustomed to that too.  At the very least if you don't have something kind to say... don't say it.  We have enough problem fighting the stigma of WLS without our own community helping.  Since I have been volunteering for many years I've noticed some particular circumstances that seem to cause regain.  In no particular order:

1. Having babies.  Almost every woman who has a baby after WLS fights regain.

2. Not being educated properly about the psychological aspects of our disease.

3. Being super morbidly obese before surgery.  It's just plain harder for those folks.

4. Being a woman. (Men have a far superior metabolism)

Carnie also has to do it in the public eye.  How well would you do if after your surgery paparazzi was there every time you left your house to record every pound regained or lost?  I would have crumbled. She went first so the process was a little easier for the rest of us and yet some of us pound her at the first opportunity.

She deserves to be happy with her decision.  I don't know anyone who is perfect enough to throw stones so let's give her another chance to be healthy and avoid diabetes.  I've never seen it in the "WLS life rules" that you don't get another chance.   I would really appreciate some support for her in the People magazine online article linked below. People Magazine has particularly not given us much of a chance because every time they publish the "Half Their Size" issue we are intentionally left out.  The cover says "no surgery, no gimmicks".  Aren't you happy to know we used a gimmick?

Thanks in advance for voicing your support.

Thanks in advance for not posting if you are against giving her support.

Online People Magazine article

We are so strong when we pull together and nothing would make me happier than People Magazine hearing us roar!

ORIGINAL POST

Please don't pinch me and wake me up!

Yesterday history was made when Dr. Oz did a positive show on gastric bypass surgery.  Lap banders he did a show for you a few months ago and I posted about that here.

Of course I expected the very vocal anti-surgery types but I was a little surprised at how many pro-surgery people picked it apart.  I had to remind myself that many post-ops are fairly new and don't remember the years of abuse we have suffered from other talk show hosts.  I've blogged many times about Oprah and even Dr. Phil who is kind of half and half on the subject (one of his nephews had the surgery).  I've blogged about People magazine that won't include us in "women half their size" because they say "no surgery, no gimmicks".  I've offered articles about great weight loss stories to many magazines but they don't want weight loss surgery content.  The list is endless.  The stigma is alive and well.

When I read the description of the show I thought it was a trick. It was called The most under performed surgery you should be getting. A Dr. Oz special report on how to lose weight instantly, prevent heart disease, cancer and even reverse diabetes overnight with a surgical procedure. After reading it about ten times and peeling myself off the floor I was jazzed.  Dr. Oz usually has a pro and con professional but this time he only had positive professionals.  The only post-ops were one woman who was four years out and had done well and another who was ten years out that hadn't.  The woman that hadn't done well had three children after surgery and said she gained with each pregnancy.  I'd say that's pretty common under any circumstances.  More power to post-op women after pregnancy who keep the weight off because I'm not sure how well I would have done.

Let's remember that just because he didn't cover other surgeries, cross addiction, and the many other possibilities that it's at least a beginning.  He did cover lifestyle changes and vitamins. Instead of complaining about the show why don't you write Dr. Oz and ask for specific subjects to be covered?  I'm very close to many people in AA and one of my favorite sayings about addicts is "you could ask one of us to a birthday party the wrong way".  That translates to no matter what is said someone will find fault in it.  This surgery basically cures diabetes and we will be paying for years treating the disease instead of stopping it or at least slowing it down.  We all know post-ops that have had various levels of complications but they are in the minority and most of the post-ops I talk to say they would do it all over again.  Having the surgery is a personal choice and I'm tired of being criticized for taking the easy way out.  I'm healthy for the first time in my life and it shouldn't matter how I did it as long as I didn't damage myself.

I can't convince you to like this show, the content, or Dr. Oz but I believe this is one great step for man and one great leap for mankind. (Thanks Neil Armstrong) 


You can view my original blog post here.

RESPECT...a very important word in life.

And here's a couple more...

Compassion, Empathy  

Don't we know what these words mean anymore? The fact that so many people simply fore go any hint of the golden rule just blows me away. So many dish it out but certainly don't want the same in return. Forums, boards, and blogs are sometimes a vast wasteland of disrespect and anonymous bullying.  

The squeaky wheel so often gets the grease because so many boards don't have a lot of structure. It sort of reminds me of the old West...Cowboys and Indians...before Marshall Dillon rode into town...... pretty much whatever you can get away with at the expense of other's feelings just so long as you bulldoze your point through because you have to prove how right you are and how wrong someone else is. It is not a place for the weak at heart....like me.

Yup, go ahead and call me a Pollyanna. I'm just plain worn out from toxic trauma drama on forums, boards, and blogs....well wherever it is.

I'd love for the moderators to put a little icon before each of the applicable threads that says TTD.  

As weight loss surgery people we are already very vulnerable and after a lifetime of negativity due to obesity, I don't understand why we must continue to pile more anxiety upon our already stressful lives. The other problem is that it starts (usually) with a post that isn't so bad but it's where it goes that gets dangerous. (sorry Dad for the language but this is a bland representation of reality)  

Example-

Alice: I like orange and I can't see why anyone would like red...I mean what are you thinking?

Betty: Well I like orange too but if you like red, you're nuts.

Cheryl: I like red, orange sucks and you can go to hell

Betty: Cheryl, you're a freakin' bitch!  

Dawn: Betty you're freakin' bitch because I've liked red longer than anyone so you don't know crap!
 
Alice: Don't call my friend Betty a bitch and your surgery type sucks too.  

Cheryl: You're fat and I'm at goal  

Betty: I can lose weight but you can't fix ugly

Truth be told we all have a right to like orange or red. We can agree to disagree. In the meantime a newbie comes to the board looking for some real support, something that might save their life. So....newbie goes away, newbie loses out on good info OR newbie joins in the fun and never figures out how to fight the demons that are the reason for their obesity because they are too busy picking the "right" side. If you HAVE to be right, you HAVE to make someone else wrong.  

The other mega fall out is just as potentially harmful. The veterans give up. Why would they want to stay? Their exit is a two fold tragedy. You lose some valuable experience and maybe I'm wrong but I'm thinking you might want someone to hang around that knows something. The other unfortunate part is the fact that veterans lose out on continued education and the all important accountability factor.

Stress causes us to trigger our food addiction (or other addictions) so what do we do?.....we jump right into ramping up the demons. Some people are perfectly unaffected and can play this game but so many are not. I have watched this first hand and I've seen several women sit and eat all day when the toxic trauma drama starts.

Are we our brother's keeper? Maybe...I mean...

I know I can't save the world but I can lead by example and do the best I can to keep my eye on the prize. Each time I take my eye off the prize, I am veering off course...and not walking toward the goal I want more than anything else....and when I participate I also help others veer off course too.

For me...the veterans are the parents in this community and when we fight it is just like the parents arguing in front of the kids. They are already coming in new and vulnerable and when we fight, we just screw them up a little more and feed the monster disease of obesity and addiction.

I'm saying the serenity prayer a little more every day.   If we really understood it, we'd get out of the business of stressing out and getting all pissed off over totally insignificant things that we cannot change. Life isn't fair but there's no use in wasting energy on things we can't change when we still have so much to do to work on ourselves. Since I am no where close to doing it all just right and until I figure out a way to do that, I don't see how I can spend time trying to tell others how to act. I certainly don't appreciate someone telling me how to act so I'm pretty sure no one else likes me to tell them they're doing it all wrong.

And then we have trolls....the ones that do it just to start a fight. We have aggressive trolls, passive/aggressive trolls, famous trolls and anonymous trolls. They start a fight for the fun of it and then everyone gets involved over an issue that was fake in the first place!!

I've been really active on the boards for almost 8 years. I have learned so much in those 8 years and the online support forums have figured out things that some of the bariatric programs haven't even begun to cover.... but for the life of me it is almost more than I can take sometimes when my WLS brothers and sisters start butting heads over things that don't matter.  

Call me a dreamer...but I still hold out some hope that it can happen one day...  

but until then I'll continue to do my best to offer support and help to those that want it and try my best to avoid the toxic trauma drama.  

So fight if you want...but for now I'll just continue to answer to Pollyanna, Goodie Two Shoes, Naive Girl, whatever....  
I'll be the one sitting in the corner singing Kum ba yah.

p.s. Here's the great recipe for life that I posted before.  

A GREAT RECIPE FOR LIFE...    

1.Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to the God of your understanding about what is going on in your life. 3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today. I am thankful for______________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished _________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.  
26. READ 7 AND 14 AGAIN!