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Goals

To run a 5K

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Get a surgery date

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Learn to ride a motorcycle

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go horseback riding

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go skiing

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Sirene's Journey

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Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I was always a bit heavy, even when I was a kid. I had a round face and kids would tease me and call me names. So even though, looking back and seeing that I was definitely overweight but nowhere near what I *thought* I looked like, I always felt ashamed and embarrassed of being me. As I got older, the weight kept piling on and I tried everything. Every diet and every program and every method. My self esteem was so low that I imagined people laughing at me all the time. I was going to the gym 5 days a week, cardio training as well as working with weights. Everytime I stepped into the gym, I had to talk myself into staying rather than putting my tail between my legs and running for the hills. I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me....
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Sirene's Blog
Sirene's Blog

Thursday already???
posted on 3/17/11 8:36 am
How did we get to Thursday already???
I feel like I just had my last weigh-in yesterday!! I feel like I havent even prepared for this week yet and here it is, already over!!
It has been a very busy March Break week here; one child off to New Brunswick to visit family; one child back to North Bay as his break was LAST week; one child in Toronto for fashiony type stuff, again; and one child in daycamp going tubing when there is virtually no snow! I dropped her off at camp this morning and she was off chatting to the staff worker...totally oblivious to the fact that my heart was breaking. She just looked at me and waved as if to say....uhh...what?? Go already!
*sniff*

Its funny how my 2 youngest ones are the most outgoing. Jeremy is in Toronto, with 4 auditions in 2 days, plus he could have stayed Saturday to shoot a video and done another audition....all for Toronto Fashion Week. He is working on Sunday for a design house here in Ottawa for Ottawa Fashion Week and was just asked to do a TV slot to model swimsuits. He has to go back to Toronto next week and hopefully the Footlocker ads will come out soon. Also, then I have to start preparing for the Gala in May. He needs a new suit and I need to find a dress!!

I am supposed to be going shopping in the US in April where I was going to look for a dress, but I need my passport. To get my passport, I had to get my new driver's license first, which had expired on my birthday and I completely forgot! So did my health card, which I had to get renewed as well in order to do pre-surgery blood work!

Did you ever see the Sesame Street skit where Ernie puts the sugar into the cookie jar? He took the sugar out and put it in something else, and had to take that out first and put it in something else, etc etc. Sometimes, my life feels like Ernie's sugar bowl. In order to do this, I have do get this done first...and in order to do that, I will have to make sure this is done first....my life sometimes feels like I am a full time runner-arounder!!

My job gets in the way of all the stuff I have to do!! I envy stay-at-home moms for that sometimes. Although, if I had a job where I was actually important enough for people to expect me to DO anything...I would be in trouble! :)

So, needless to say, I really don't feel prepared for this week's weigh in. I know I say that every week but its really really true this time!

if I review my week....I cant even remember when the last time I tracked my food.....so I have no idea if I met my daily goals or not. I made cookies on the weekend and although usually oatmeal raisin cookies don't really tempt me, as they are really not may favourite, this week, they were just singing to me from that container on the counter!  But I guess other than that, and maybe yesterday's all-snack-on-the-go-instead-of-even-one-decent-meal day....I guess I did alright.

I think it was the banana bread. My Honey makes my lunch usually and he felt bad because I had no more low fat muffins so he gave me banana bread.
I know I should have looked at it and said...oh no I cant eat that as it has too much fat and too much sugar in it...
But did I???

NO!!

Right after the gym, I find it VERY hard to avoid carbs! If they are there, I am eating them!!

And water....I dont think I drank all my water ANY day over the past week.

So...lessons learned??

Take some time on Saturday and PLAN!!!! PLAN meals and snacks for the week. I already do it for suppertime meals so I need to make sure I do it for lunch and snacks too. Life is bound to get hectic every once in a while....having 5 kids tends to make mine get that way more often than not, so I should be prepared by now!! lol

Real life got int he way of my perceived success this week. Whether it will show on the scale or not is another story, but I think even if it does show a loss....I think I still learned that I cannot let LIFE get in the way or be an excuse to make poor choices. A rice crispy square for supper is NOT appropriate!! Even if it *was* paired with a sugar-free skinny latte!!!

Wish me luck!!


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