A topic other than Cancer....

Aug 29, 2011

People are going to think I am such an anxious type person when they read these posts....but really, I only write when I need to vent or work something out in my head. I am really a pretty easy going person.

Maybe you read about my mom being diagnosed with cancer....but I am not ready to talk about it. I dont think I could handle the string of "thank you for your thoughts" notes I would have to write back to people telling me how sorry they are. It might sound viscious but I dont want people to say they are sorry. Nobody knows my mom, who she is or what she is like. It just seems like something people say when they don't know what to say. Its ok because I dont know what to say either...so lets just skip the whole thing.

I am sure this feeling will pass but its almost like I just want to keep it to myself for now. Maybe if I ignore it for a while then it will go away or fix itself on its own.

I realize this is called denial....and I also realze that its a stage I have to go through. So this is me, going through it.

What I am really writing to wonder about is how will this WLS thing possibly work???

I read blogs of other folks and see the advice given-which dont get me wrong, is great advice-but I dont know that it applies to me.

Number one advice to get ready for surgery is to cut stuff out of your diet now. Such as?
Cut out pop: I dont drink it now so I dont have to cut it out
Stop smoking: I dont smoke
Cut your carbs: I only eat starchy carbs once a day and I try to never eat a carb without a protein
Exercise more: I go to the gym 5 days a week and usually go for an hour walk on my lunch, plus aquafit classes 2x a week. (ok that one is only when I am at work and I am on holidays at the moment but that is my *normal* routine)
Drink water: I drink upwards of 3L a day
Cut out deep fried greasy foods: I never eat that crap. I have never had a funnel cake that I see people talking about- I dont even know what it is. I rarely eat fries and then usually give most away to my Honey. And yes I live in Canada and even on the border to Quebec but no, I have never in my life, eaten a poutine

So how did I get fat??? portion size I guess?? Maybe too many sweets??? I do have a sweet tooth but I rarely have desserts at home. Admittedly I have been baking a lot lately with the peaches in season. (peach pie!) but its not like I eat more than a slice. Its gone before I would get a second piece anyways!!! I have 5 kids, remember?? 3 of them are teenage boys! There is no such thing as leftovers in this house.

So, in order to be successful after surgery, I think it would be helpful to figure out exactly what got me here in the first place. I do have PCOS, but that cant be all of it. There has to be more

My diet is pretty good. I dont say its perfect by any means. I do slip up but I am pretty good about not having trigger foods around me. Chocolate chip cookies are simply not allowed because I *WILL* eat them. But in all honesty, I havent had a chocolate chip cookie in.....as a matter of fact I have no idea when the last time I had one was.

So over the next month, I really need to focus on this issue if I am to be really ready to rock my WLS later this fall. Sometimes I just get scared that I will be that 1 person in a million that the surgery just doesnt work for. Especially after reading about how hard some people found it to make changes to their diets......when I have already made those changes. Then I start to think maybe there is something ultimately wrong with me and its just not going to take...yanno??
3 comments

Dating after WLS???

Aug 21, 2011

I try not to talk too much about surgery to my Honey because...well because I dont want to drive him crazy with my obsession:) I come here instead  ;)

I was reading a blog about someone going to a restaurant and their significant other not sharing a plate with them. At first I thought, "how insensitive!". I should have been a Gemini though because I am always of 2 minds about everything. My second thought was...ok well maybe they didnt want to have to order something different to acccommodate the person, or maybe they didnt want them to eat something they shouldnt....ok, not so bad after all.

I brought this scenario up to my Honey and as I mentioned, I rarely do....so his answer was very surprising.

He said (paraphrased):
You know Babygirl, this is going to be hard on you in a lot of ways but dont forget its going to be hard on me too. I love our date nights where we go out to dinner, just the 2 of us and we wont be able to do that for a long time. I am not going to sit there and watch you eat one meatball while I scarf down something I know you like, but can't have! I will feel so guilty! So ya, I am going to miss you.

Awww....*sniff*

We discussed how I will eventually be able to get in more than a half cup of soup and life will return to a "new" normal after a while but he certainly had a point. And I totally missed it.

I was so focused on myself, it never occured to me to think about how it would affect him. I mean, I did in some ways....we discussed the whole cooking thing since he is the one primarily responsible for feeding the hoarde......he has been researching new ways of fat-free cooking and searching out sugar-free recipes for me.....but aside from that, I guess I never really thought about it.

Does that make me a bad person?

I always said that if anything were to happen to put me in a situation where I was single again, I would stay that way because there was no way in HELL I was ever going to date again!! I just dont have the energy, patience, or motivation to go through that kind of torture. But now....here I am!!! This is almost the same thing!! Trying to come up with new ideas for dating my own Honey that do not involve going out to dinner!!

Any suggestions??
(keep in mind that my Honey is a very large man so anything exercise that is more than a moonlit walk along the canal is out of the question - or ice skating; he loves that. Actually he doesnt mind a bike ride either....) We actually went to make beer one time as our "date" . That was kind of fun.

So ya.....here I am, nearly 40 and trying to figure out what to do on a date. I never thought I would be in this position again!! LOL!!! Very interesting side effect of WLS!!!
16 comments

Meet the surgeon!!

Aug 19, 2011

I have a date to meet the surgeon!!!

September 29 at 3pm :)

I am so excited!!!! That's the last step before actually getting my surgery date!! It wont be long now!

I feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment.....kinda like I should be preparing but really.....what is there for me to do exactly???

Anyone have any tips of things they wished maybe they had done prior to surgery that would have helped them out afterwards??
18 comments

I'm back!

Aug 16, 2011

It's been such a long time since I posted .

I have been so discouraged with the process that I decided to just stay away from anything that had to do with surgery and just try to put it completely out of my head. The waiting was literally driving me insane.

So I go a call 2 weeks ago from the nurse at the Weight Management Clinic and of course, my phone was off so I only got the message after.My heart was racing and I was actually so flustered I had to sit down for a minute just to calm myself down enough to manage to call her back. I got her voicemail and had to wait THE WHOLE WEEKEND until Monday!!!!

My honey and I were at the cottage when she called and it was only after I booked my final appointment with her that I could finally relax and enjoy my holiday!! I have my surgery class on Sept 14!! I am very excited again!!! The process is moving!!

I try to be patient but when it feels like the process is at a standstill, thats when I find it difficult to cope. I am much calmer now knowing that I have not been forgotten and I am indeed moving forward.

I am on holidays and have found it a bit diifcult to eat as I would normally. There is a lot more stuff around than I am used to at work. The fridge is right there! And the kids are home so there is more junk food too.....not that they eat a lof of it to begin with but the occasional bag of chips is within reach.....AND THE BAKING!!!! Zucchini bead is the current trend but soon it will be peach pie as peaches are coming into season. Before that it was strawberry everything or raspberry everything and rhubard crisp....not to mention that because I dont go into town for work eveyday, I am not going to the gym either. Granted I have been swimming and walking and hiking but not nearly enough in my opinion.

I am amazed that I have only gained 4 lbs. I guess maybe the constant movement of just being at home is better than sitting at my desk for 8 hours straight...

So now I am re-motivated and back on the site and thinking...OMG I dont know anything!! I am not prepared!!!

I think I am going to start a recipe binder and start making myself a little book of things that I will be able to eat immediately after. My Honey will be home with me anyways so I am not worried about having to cook....but I guess my number one biggest fear is the tendency to grab something when I am hungry rather than planning it out. I plan out everything for when I am at work, but I find I dont do that when I am at home. I will work on that between now and when I go back to work.

It's good to be back here. I forgot how supportive everyone really is and I guess I just got lost in my own frustrations.
4 comments

About Me
Ottawa,
Location
26.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
10/20/2011
Surgery Date
Dec 02, 2010
Member Since

Friends 203

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