Progress Update

Nov 19, 2011

So here I am, a month out.

I must say, I am not really terribly juiced about my RNY. It's kind of a let down actually.

I have lost about 20 lbs since surgery. I go up a pound and then lose 2lbs. I can't help still feeling like I will be that one person that this is just not going to work for. It has got me kind of down and miserable. With everything that has gone on in my life over the past month, I suppose I can attribute some of it to stress but I don't  know. I read people's blogs and how they just LOVE their RNY....well I hope I get to the point where I can say that too....sooner would be better....

Let me recap: My mother died 3 days after my surgery. I spent the night before she died at the hospital with her, standing by her bedside for over 6 hours....I was in pain and nearly dead on my feet but I don't regret it for a moment. Then, the week after, I was on my feet for hours upon hours at the wake then funeral, etc.
The week after that, we found out that my mother didn't have mortgage insurance; so either I had to assume the mortgage myself or my father would have to. Well I can't because of previous credit issues that still linger, and my father wouldn't.....so the only option was to sell.
My father was in charge of it now, and I wont go into my relationship with my father but it suffices to say it's "strained" at best. So I dealt with the real estate agent and listed the house at a very low but fair price. I would come out of it able to pay everything off, and with a small but helpful amount left over so that I really wouldn't have to worry about things for a little while. Maybe finally for once in my life I'd be able to get ahead of the game!!

Nope. My father, wanting to be rid of it as soon as possible, decided to lower the price by thirty grand!!!!! THIRTY!!!!!

So, obviously the house sold, but now every dime of my severance package that I got from my job that I invested in the house to pretty it up to sell, is gone. I have nothing.

I also wont go into my relationship with my brother and his wife, who live next door to my Dad, where I live an hour away (at that point I lived almost 2 hours away)....but I was told by my sister-in-law not to bother inviting my Dad to my house for Christmas as he would be with them Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Bay.

Oh. OK.

My mother was the glue that held my family together. I never got along with my Dad and my best guess at this point is that as soon as the papers are finalized from the house, it is unlikely I will ever see much of my Dad again. He wont have any need to talk to me.

Anyways, back to my surgery....

So the last 2 weeks have been consumed with packing, moving, unpacking, cleaning, painting, loading and unloading vehicles with boxes and bags and wondering where everything is. I haven't had any time at all to think about myself, my surgery, what stage I am at, what I am supposed to be eating, or anything. For the most part, I manage to get my protein in thanks to shakes, eggs and chicken. Other than that, I crave veggies and would kill for a salad!

I have discovered that I simply cannot tolerate bread and I have a tendency to eat too fast. Nothing tastes good and everything has a weird texture to me. I can't drink coffee anymore at all, not even decaf. Tea is OK but coffee makes me want to hurl. And I LOVE my Starbucks....I am very sad about this.

I go back to work tomorrow. Between vacation, taking time off because my mother was sick and surgery, I basically haven't been at work full time since July 1. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to it.

I weigh myself pretty much every day. I am not really losing very much. It bothers me, and it doesn't. It bothers me because I should be losing, but then I guess it doesn't because I just figure I should have known better than to think this would work. I mean, who was I kidding?

I am fat. Looks like I will always be.
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About Me
Ottawa,
Location
26.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
10/20/2011
Surgery Date
Dec 02, 2010
Member Since

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