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Goals

To run a 5K
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Get a surgery date
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Learn to ride a motorcycle
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go horseback riding
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go skiing
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Sirene's Journey

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Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I was always a bit heavy, even when I was a kid. I had a round face and kids would tease me and call me names. So even though, looking back and seeing that I was definitely overweight but nowhere near what I *thought* I looked like, I always felt ashamed and embarrassed of being me. As I got older, the weight kept piling on and I tried everything. Every diet and every program and every method. My self esteem was so low that I imagined people laughing at me all the time. I was going to the gym 5 days a week, cardio training as well as working with weights. Everytime I stepped into the gym, I had to talk myself into staying rather than putting my tail between my legs and running for the hills. I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me....
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Sirene's Blog
Sirene's Blog

I give up on personal trainers!!
posted 12/21/12 4:31 am

The trainer at the gym turned out to be true to form and gave me the low-down on a really great program that would "meet all my fitness goals" within one year. He spelled it all out in great detail and it sounded very achievable!!

Then the price tag.

3 sessions a week for 52 weeks at $ 62 a session is just a little over $ 10 grand.

Ouch!!

I smiled because it was pretty much the exact same spiel I got pre-surgery from another trainer at the same chain (different location).

I told him there was no way I could afford that and he did his best to try to make it sound like I wasn't going to be paying 10 grand but in the end, it still ends up costing 10 grand. Easy payment plan or not...who has $ 1000 for a down payment the week before Christmas?? Or ANY time for that matter??? And really?? How is $ 200 bi-weekly 'affordable'?? That's more than a lot of car payments!!

Aside from the old saying that "you can't put a price on your health".....I think I was more hurt because after all the time I spent with this guy and he really seemed like he was listening to what I had to say, to what my goals were, etc. I just feel like I wasted so many hours of my life going through the whole process with him. It was very disappointing. Almost like dating!! As my good friend Maggie would say....what a waste of mascara!

Not only that, but he said that I could cut out the body pump and yoga classes and definitely cut out the running because cardio isn't what I need now....WTF??.....and just focus on weight training with a trainer.

But I LIKE the classes!! I LOVE running!! Why would anyone suggest that I cut these out ??

I was very discouraged and felt so disappointed and frustrated when I got home yesterday...what did I do???

Yep. Ate a chocolate.

Oh and it wasn't any old chocolate either. It was an Extra Dark Lindor chocolate.

And then ate another.

Guess how I felt about THAT??

Yep. Guilty and even more horrible.

Ahhh....good times. I remember when this type of behaviour was an everyday thing and probably several times a day. And also when I couldn't recognize it for what it was and stop it or even acknowledge it. Vicious circle that would spiral into a binge....yep. Good times.

I put the chocolates away and grabbed a piece of cheese. Then I started making supper and had a nice piece of chicken.

I still felt horrible so I grabbed the hot water bottle and went to snuggle with it on the couch and ended up going to bed early. First day of TOM too so maybe that had something to do with my emotions getting the better of me??

I woke up this morning and promised myself that I would just put yesterday in the past and start fresh with today. It certainly helps that I woke up to a whole world freshly covered in a (really thick!!) blanket of snow. Everything looks fresh and clean and pure today.

As Anne Shirley said....today is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet.

Now, to plan my menu while browsing the flyers and have some lovely quinoa with pecans and raisins for breakfast.  Then maybe a little 5k on the treadmill?? Sounds like a good way to start a new day

 

 

 

 




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