ObesityHelp

My story can't be all that different from many of the stories on these sites.  No one ever starts out life wishing to be overweight.  In fact I didn't even join those ranks until after my first son was born.  Sure I had a few love handles that were controled through good clothing choices, bad behavior and weight loss fads, but I was not an over-weight kid.  In fact I was a very popular, athletic person up through high school.  I knew I was not slim like a lot of the truely beautiful girls that ruled the school, but I held my own.  College was where it started to creep on.  Instead of embracing a more healthful lifestyle, I simply yo-yo'd.  My first kid left me feeling really big (size 14 - when a 14 really was a 14!), but someone made a pretty cutting remark about my gut at work and I decided right then and there to make the fool pay for that. Lost about 35 lbs (the flu helped) and then flaunted my new found body around work.  Yes that guy realized he had been a fool (LOL)!  The flu can only work for so long.  My first son made me a single mom by the way and after a while the stress of working two jobs took over and weight crept back on.  Met my husband somewhere in there - and I should tell you that he is a great guy - just sad and disappointed that I have allowed myself to become this large.  We married in less than four months, and even though I had lost a lot of weight while dating (bike rides, walks, healthy eating) I was never sure if I was really attractive.  As  married lady I managed to gain 3 more sons and about 45 more pounds.  Then came the old yo-yo dieting - lose 25 - find 35 - lose 15 - find 25 - you get the picture.  My kids are all grown now - all have married except the baby and he is doing that this summer.  My weight has caused some minor health issuse - very sore feet, knee pain, some elevated blood pressure at times, but nothing major.  I have sleep apnea, but I had that as a skinny little kid.  I started to look at WLS about 3 years ago.  My girlfriend and I whispered in the back of the church one day that we were looking into this and finally I had a friend who had the same thoughts as I.  Kaiser approved me, but denied her - we both cried.  For over 2 and 1/2 years I played games with myself about the surgery - I put it off for various reasons.  Mostly because I had not fully come to terms with the risks to my health if I did not have this surgery and I felt like such a failure at dieting.  "If you really want to lose the weight - then you will just eat right and it will go away" - that is the quote I played in my head for years.  Well it has not gone away - I am out of control with food and I am tired of being tired.  Lost my Kaiser coverage (best thing that happened to me) and got a new health plan through my husbands work.  Low and behold I qualified within 4 weeks for surgery and I will be having it on Jan. 9, 2007.  The process took from start to date of surgery only 6 weeks.  I believe that I am suppose to do this and that is why all the roadblocks (myself included in that statement) have been removed.  At 52 years old I am finally going to take control of my eating (with the help of WLS) and use this window of opportunity to get myself back to where I know I should be in regards to excersise, eating right and loving myself.  See you all on the otherside of tomorrow.  One final thing - I know that there are risks with this surgery (as with all surgery) and that not everyone will agree with my decision to do this, but I can't tell my story without saying that my faith is in Jesus Christ - and it is with His help that I will finally be free.  Pray on my friends - Pray on.