I guess sometimes this surgery can make you depressed, even with all the good. I am going through that right now. I am happy with the results it has given me, but I still feel empty at times, like I should have never had it in the first place. But I know I needed to do it to save my life, and to just get back to living a pain-free life. I guess you can say I am having some mixed emotions right now.

Ok, It's November 8th....and I am at 202 lbs.....you do the math. I have gained 19 lbs since I hit my peak over a year ago. The funny thing is that most people think I look better now than I did at 183, but I don't want to make the mistake and be at 325 again really soon.

I think life's issues have caused the gain, but if I control things now, I should be better.