Well well, been a very long time, I lost 150 then gained 40 back, went from 378 to 227 back up to 260!! I am so mad at myself, sometimes i forget what i went through to get here, and i feel like a failure, i know i lost so much weight, but i did not do this to gain it all back..

I know i can walk 30 mins a day or more i know i can walk 2 miles on the treadmill, even run a little but, i love shopping for smaller clothes, i do NOT LIKE THE FACT I AM eating and doing whatever i want. I made a promise to myself to take care of myself, and i will...

I want a baby, and i want a husband .. how can i do that if i am not happy, when i do not work out i feel tired, lazy, depressed, and you know what, i know that i can do this.. i really do i need to lose 130 more, and i think if i just steped up the plate i can handle this..

I have to believe in myself, but food is so good, and i need to learn how to work out or something when i want to eat. i need good friends, just dont seem to have any, and i feel alone, honestly i feel alone... i just wish i could be 130, and be happy, i wonder if i will ever be 130, can i do it? how will i do it, how can i do this... i mean i know the biggest loser people can do it, why the hell cant i!!!

I have lost 8 of the 10 pounds i gained i didnt exercise on Monday but will be on tuesday!.. Been working hard to lose this weight lately..

I been doing the treadmill now, 10 walking, 10 running, WOW me running isnt that something,

I wanted to write how i feel, so i can read this and rememeber, ... when i think about all the people who have lost more then me, or just started, I think of me as a failure, but then again i lost 150 right? So i mean i am not that lonely girl i Use to be? Or am i.. I still have no social life, I wanna have friends i can hang out with, and a guy.. well its lonely not being with something you know...

I been doing better on protein, at least 50 or more a day when before i had like 13? ... I also LOVE water now.. if u knew me u would know why i am shocked i hated water, til like 2 weeks ago, now i drink nothing but water and feel better

At night i eat more then i do during the day!... which makes me mad. i wake up late so i dont do breafast, i need to sleep early and wake up early and i also found out i like working out earlier instead of night time, makes me feel better

well i am going to go on the tradmill! lol at night it makes me gain 2 pounds ugh

I forgot to do my measurments the first 2 months but I started lol :) so this month I lost 20 Inches! YAY! :) will def do this each month.... I started out weighting 376 and I am at 306 right now!!

 

 

Me and my son, 1 month out face pictures