Thoughts and perspective...

Dec 29, 2009

Now keeping in mind that I'm almost 6 years post-op now, I look at things differently than those who are pre-op and who are a year or less post-op and still losing constantly with no problems (the "honeymoon" phase), and therefore the things I say might be perceived as rude, but I don't really care too much at this point.  Sorry, but I don't.   I'm really not out on a mission to offend people tonight or to make excuses for myself, I just want to get a point across.

I've had 2 babies (both of my children) post-op.  When I got pregnant the first time, I had to throw out eating like a post-op and I had to eat whatever I could to get in enough calories to nourish that baby.  I had people look at me and roll their eyes.  I did what I had to for my daughter and I gained almost 30 lbs for it.  In turn, I DID lose that 30 lbs and then some, but I am also left with some bad eating habits.  I won't lie for a moment that I don't have the greatest eating habits.  I'm very lucky that I can't eat much or I would be up a creek.  My eating habits do stem a lot from 2 post-op pregnancies where I ate to let those babies thrive and yes, it's hard to break those habits once they start up again.  I had very rough pregnancies, I am now a year into menopause at the age of 31, and I fight every single day to maintain below my initial goal weight of 155 lbs (currently I am at 137 lbs).  I was down to 131 lbs and even below that for a while.  I gained back some weight after my hysterectomy and all the sudden, I feel that I am being seen as a "failure" by different people.  Trust me, I am NOT a failure.  I am not a failure in the eyes of my surgeon, in the eyes of my true friends and family, and most importantly, I am not a failure in the eyes of myself.  I am proud of my accomplishments.  If I stay within a healthy BMI, then who are you to look down on me.  Actually, who are we to judge each other anyways.  We are all here for the same reason :  We all want to lose weight and get our lives back.  I know I got mine back and then some!  I might not always have the best eating habits,  I might still have a few health problems, but I'm 200% better off now than I was this time 6 years ago.

I've stayed around this board for the better part of 6 years now and I've seen a lot of people come and go.  I've seen a lot of people maintain for 5, 10, even 15 years, but I've also seen a lot of people have regain (significant regain) and either accept it for what it is, lose via exercise and diet, or have a revision (usually out of pocket cost).   I saw one person say the other day that when you get close to goal, you don't come around so much anymore.  I think when you're at goal (or close to it) and trying to maintain is when you truly need support the most.  The farther you get out from your WLS, the harder it is to maintain your "perfect" eating habits from being a new post-op and the easier it is to slide back into old habits.   I think the farther out you are, the more you do need the accountability, friendship, and support of your fellow post-ops.  You don't need the rudeness, drama, and backstabbing from the new post-ops who think they are invincible and that it can never happen to them, that they will never gain back weight because they won't do the "wrong things". 

I am almost sad sometimes now when I come to this board and it use to be a place where I came for friendship, support, and comfort from people who were the same as me... WLS patients (or people seeking WLS).  Now it doesn't seem as supportive.  Well, here's to a new year and hopefully a new perspective on things, as well!

Since New Years Resolutions seem to backfire, I am not making any this year hehe.  I am going with the flow and letting things happen as they will.  Hopefully 2010 will be a great year for all of us!
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Ramblings... and some new pics!

Dec 11, 2009

So I finally got around to posting new pics on the profile here for the first time in over a year.  I think I posted maybe 10 or so.  Leave love hehe...

On another note, yay, I'm in menopause! (HEAVY on the sarcasm!)  I am in early menopause, thanks to my hysto, but the doctor is certain I was in it prior to the hysto so I guess it's not fair to blame it on the surgery.  It's not the most fun thing, but we're getting as much of a grip on it as we can, but not much we can do except let it happen now.

Also, I've been seeing an allergist now as the asthma/allergies have grown increasingly worse.  The suggestion now is the EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program) and see about a possible relocation to a more humid environment (the dry, dusty environment of Oklahoma is a KILLER and I have had bad asthma/allergies since birth anyways) with the facilities to accomodate my needs.  I need 2-3 allergy shots a week and will be having to travel 55 miles one way to get those (ugh).  They are doing a TON of construction in the area I live in.  The list goes on and on.  Lots of things are factoring in on making it worse instead of better.  My tonsils and adenoids (especially my adenoids) need to come out, but I refuse any more surgeries until I've had at least 6 mos to recover from the hysto. 

On yet another note, the weight is settling back out again (no more gain, about 2-4 lbs loss, at this point) and my self confidence is back where it was and FINALLY I'm doing good with that.  I still have good firm abs for having a baby post-TT (the only way they would be tighter is if I just had the TT again).  I feel good!  I am happy the holidays are here and I love shopping for gifts for all the family and friends! 

Now, if we can just get out of Altus hehehehe..
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About Me
Cibolo, TX
Location
21.2
BMI
RNY
Surgery
08/03/2004
Surgery Date
Jun 21, 2004
Member Since

Before & After
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July 2004
275lbs
May 2008
137lbs

Friends 291

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