I am in my second week of post-op and I have definitely had my highs and lows. I am able to get around more and my incision is healed but I still have soreness.  Mentally, I have been completely fucked.  I suffer from extreme WANT-TO-EAT-THAT syndrome. I had been watching Food Network, Man vs. Food and Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and all those other shows that shows the American obsession with gluttony.  I am amazed at how much we Americans actually eat. I never thought about it before, because I WAS the gourmand. I was that person who would pig out at restaurants completing my very over-sized meal often only after I had an appetizer and a cocktail. I LOVED going out to eat, food was my preferred social outing. Anything I did whether it be with family or friends usually included choosing where to go to eat.  My favorite places to go where, The Cheesecake Factory, PF Changs, Coastal Flats and anywhere that had a fantastic, juicy steak!!!  Now, I am not saying I will never be able to go to those places ever again, I HOPE I will be able to, but I know that it will be a whole different experience.  Other than that--I have been feeling okay, I am sick of protein shakes and I hate all my vitamins, specifically my chewables.  I have a chewable multi-vitamin that is orange and at first it was good, but my tastes are definitely changing and sometimes I want to hurl.  I also had this chewable iron pill that was lemon-lime flavor...DISGUSTING.  Think about sucking on a lemon-lime candy and adding a penny into your mouth.  I quickly stopped taking those and was given the clearance to swallow a small iron tablet.  I also have these calcium chews that are chocolate flavored and lemon flavored. They are the size of a starburst candy and at first taste okay but then you keep chewing and then the grit hits.  UUUGGGHHHH!  So since I have to take in 1500mg of calcium a day I am looking for food and drinks that are fortified with it.  So, I go to my 3 week checkup next week and I will get weighed again.  I don't have a scale at home so I really have no idea how much I have lost so far, but I will say my clothes feel a little looser!!  My stomach has gotten a little smaller and my face seems a little thinner. Oh and my wedding ring is a little looser as well!  So thanks to everyone who is following my blog!!!  I will keep you posted as exciting things pop up!!! Peace out.

Today I went to my first social outing since the surgery.  Let me start off by saying--AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The neighbors of my in-laws threw a birthday party for their  son--these people are Iranian and know how to entertain, with lots of tasty food and beverage.  There were meatballs, chicken wings, cheese and crackers, Iranian potato salad, other salads, chips and salsa, guacamole, roast chicken breasts, garlic bread, pizza and not to mention MARGARITAS AND BEER---MY FAVORITES.  I came over with my cup of chicken broth and sipped on that while I watched everyone else around me helping themselves to all this food that I was salivating over!!!!! I was in a really great mood and I am feeling great and then I started to look around me--these people are eating and having a great time and not all of them were skinny.  There were a few that were overweight.  So I asked myself as I sat there, "Could I have been happy being overweight and being able to eat what I wanted for the rest of my life?"  So it really got to me and I had to leave the party for a while.  My husband knew the reason why I  had left but I told the others who asked where I was going that I needed to go to the bathroom.  I needed to escape.  I feel better now that I am away, but I know that I am not going to be able to avoid these situations in the future.  I even packed my dinner- 2T of cottage cheese and 2T of applesauce.  Hopefully in a few more weeks my meals will be second nature and all this head hunger will get better.  So to answer the question,  No.  I would not be happier overweight and just eating myself to death.  That's why I got the surgery.  I needed help and unlike the people at the party, I couldn't control myself.  But I also can't speak for anyone else--that is their lives and this is mine---so off I go to eat my quarter cup! I am going to eat the hell out that cottage cheese and applesauce!!! lol

Today is exactly one week since my surgery! As you can imagine this is definitely a "lifestyle change"! I have been following the meal plan that my Nutritionist laid out for me and let me just say this--------THIS IS NOT THE "EASY" WAY OUT!!!!  For overeaters, we might have one, maybe two, BIG meals a day.  I have to eat 3 quarter cup meals, PLUS two 8oz. protein shakes. PLUS take all my multivitamins, iron, mineral supplements AND be able to get in at least 64oz of liquids a day!!!  Okay hear me out--I am not complaining, I am just informing the naysayers out there that think gastric bypass surgery is a "quick fix"! It is so not my friend!  All this and only one week out!  ANYWHOOOO! I will give you a brief rundown on what I am eating: TYPICAL DAY: 8am- 8oz Protein shake 11am- 2T applesauce + 2T cottage cheese (thats breakfast) 2pm- 1/4 C blended bean soup and 2 crackers (lunch) 5pm- 12oz warm chicken broth plus a scoop of protein powder (my favorite so far) 6pm- 1 scrambled egg, 1tsp. shredded cheese, and 1T applesauce (dinner) 8:30pm- 8oz Protein shake Bed at 11pm All between meals I have to sip, sip, sip, water or crystal light or warm tea.Whatever I can tolerate. What I eat varies, but it has to be no more than 1/4 cup/4Tablespoons of soft, pureed foods for the first 8 weeks. Michael has been my "chef" caring for me and making sure I "get down all that protein shake"!  Ha Ha!  I haven't gotten sick or anything, I am walking around just fine and I feel great, just a little fatigue but hello? I had a major operation a week ago! I got my staples out this morning and got weighed---I lost 13lbs. in the first week!!!! I am officially 300lbs. today!  Achieving my first goal! I still can't believe I am telling people my weight, but you know, as Dr. Phil always states: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." (that was for you Michael teehee)  Hey People! It is what it is!!!! 

I got to the Hospital before 8am with a 10am surgery time.  I didn't actually get called back until about 10:15am because my doc was running behind schedule due to another RNY.  So just the waiting around was hard enough!  So I got called back and got prepped, my family came to give me a last kiss and I was given some meds, rolled to the OR and that was it!!!!  The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room.  I was in a little pain but I also felt drowsy and and really struggling to open my eyes, I think I was given meds and I went back to sleep!  I woke up in my room and a pain pump of Morphine was placed in my hand and was told to press it when I needed it.  The next few hours where a bit hazy, I remember my husband and kids coming to see me but I think I was pretty out of it as they didn't stay very long. My throat was rough and sore from the tube and I felt a little nauseous.  I have had three surgeries prior to this: 2 C-sections, and another uterine surgery (the incision was exactly in the same place as the c-sections)  The pain was comparable to those previous surgeries in my opinion.  I slept most of the day and I actually was given food as well!  On the tray there was some chicken broth, cranberry juice (diluted), and protein jello--They were all in miniature form!  in these little sauce cups!  I was actually afraid to try to eat or drink because I didn't know what to expect with my new pouch!  I got up to go to the bathroom and I actually felt a little more nauseous as I was attempting to walk, so the nurse handed me the kidney bowl and I just had a lot of saliva and "that feeling" like I was going to vomit, but I never did. I ended up walking about 15 feet and had to turn around because I was really dizzy (from anesthesia) but was told that was a good start anyway!  Any amount of walking you do after surgery is great, at least you are moving and not just lying in bed. So I had a couple more visitors and I was brought dinner which was the same stuff and I picked at that and enjoyed pushing my pain pump every so often, and for the most part felt good!  I admit I had thoughts of "what have I done", "couldn't I have lost weight on my own instead of choosing this drastic of a choice?' When you are alone in your room, and you start to think about how hard its going to be it can really fuck with your mind, pardon my french.  I settled down and went to sleep thinking "okay Stacy, you did it and now tomorrow is another day"!   And my journey had officially begun..................