The Game

Sep 23, 2010

Here are the rules.  If you think about the game, you lose.  That's it.  That's the game.  It's stupid, but lots of kids are playing it.  You can't win the game.  You only lose.   

That's how it is with my scale.  I haven't lost much if anything in about two or three weeks.  I refuse to dwell on it because I know I've traveled and I'm exercising and this is how the whole thing works.  Nothing happens, then you lose five pounds overnight. 

But, in those moments when my mind is in "random" mode, "You're not losing weight," pops up on my mental screen.  Ack!  I lose.  I lose because I am not losing.  Ironic, I think.  It's a minor annoyance, but all my positive thinking and affirmations aren't keeping that from going away.  Nevertheless, I press on.  I exercise.  I follow my eating plan.  I persevere.

Here's to your journey, your persevering, and your friendship.  I am grateful you.  Blessings.
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2.175 Miles

Sep 21, 2010

That's how far I walked tonight, non-stop.    I'm very happy. 

I got my haircut today, the oh so short (for me), please God don't let anymore hair fall out, style so popular among we WLS participants.  My stylist thinks it's doing really well and even though I notice it thinning out, it isn't apparent to everyone.  I figure if I can get through the next month or two, I'll be fine.   So, I'm going to quit worrying so much.

Today was a good day.  I hope yours was, too!  God bless.
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Conference Confession

Sep 18, 2010

I was at a conference from Tuesday through Friday.  I was very worried about overeating and not maintaining my numbers, buit I did okay.  I did not exercise enough, but I did exercise some.  There was some built in exercise with walking to the conference rooms and such, but I had planned to walk more than I did.Food:  I took enough food with me so that I could literally eat in my room the entire time.  I didn't.  I ate two times.  I found a lunch pack tuna thing that I really enjoyed.  I also found some smoked oysters that were yummy (I like canned oysters so no big surprise).  I had trail mix, protein bars, snack sized NSA fruit cocktail and a new discovery of Genisoy crisps.  They are made of soy and are lower in carbs, higher in protein, but taste kind of like rice cakes.My big cheat:  the hotel I stayed at gave us a warm chocolate chip cookie.  I ate it... I only ate a little bit at a time, but I did finish the whole thing eventually.  NSV: I went swimming in the pool of this very posh hotel with some of the ladies that serve on the same board as I do.  I don't like to allow people to do me favors, but one of the women offered to let me borrow one of her swim suits and I took her up on the offer.  It fit just fine.  I covered up with a t-shirt anyway, but I was appropriate.  Best of all, I enjoyed the company and the conversation as I got to know these lovely ladies better.  In the past, I would have holed up in my room and missed this opportunity for fear of being seen in a swim suit.So, I was neither saint nor sinner.  I enjoyed two really wonderful meals out, most of the others were my food.  I exercised some, but should have done more.  It was a nice balance.  In the future, I hope to be more faithful to my exercise routine.I wish all my friends and readers all the best with your weight loss/maintenance.  God bless.
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Conference Confession

Sep 18, 2010

I was at a conference from Tuesday through Friday.  I was very worried about overeating and not maintaining my numbers, buit I did okay.  I did not exercise enough, but I did exercise some.  There was some built in exercise with walking to the conference rooms and such, but I had planned to walk more than I did.

Food:  I took enough food with me so that I could literally eat in my room the entire time.  I didn't.  I ate two times.  I found a lunch pack tuna thing that I really enjoyed.  I also found some smoked oysters that were yummy (I like canned oysters so no big surprise).  I had trail mix, protein bars, snack sized NSA fruit cocktail and a new discovery of Genisoy crisps.  They are made of soy and are lower in carbs, higher in protein, but taste kind of like rice cakes.

My big cheat:  the hotel I stayed at gave us a warm chocolate chip cookie.  I ate it... I only ate a little bit at a time, but I did finish the whole thing eventually. 

NSV: I went swimming in the pool of this very posh hotel with some of the ladies that serve on the same board as I do.  I don't like to allow people to do me favors, but one of the women offered to let me borrow one of her swim suits and I took her up on the offer.  It fit just fine.  I covered up with a t-shirt anyway, but I was appropriate.  Best of all, I enjoyed the company and the conversation as I got to know these lovely ladies better.  In the past, I would have holed up in my room and missed this opportunity for fear of being seen in a swim suit.

So, I was neither saint nor sinner.  I enjoyed two really wonderful meals out, most of the others were my food.  I exercised some, but should have done more.  It was a nice balance.  In the future, I hope to be more faithful to my exercise routine.

I wish all my friends and readers all the best with your weight loss/maintenance.  God bless.
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Playing with the Numbers

Sep 13, 2010

My goals are 1300 calories, 60 grams protein, and 130 grams of carbs.  I am happy to up my carbs, but it is hard to get everything to come out even!  If I get all my carbs in, I usually end up around 1400 calories.  Today, I had two meals that were pretty high calorie, oops... I got my carbs and protein in, but almost had 1800 calories.  Yikes!!!  I can't believe I did that.

I have to be out of town for a conference, which I am happy about.  I'm worried that I'm off to a bad start, and I haven't left yet.  It's harder to keep portions under control, harder to track the numbers, etc.  I am making a declaration here and now that I will make my food choices a priority.  I'll let you know how I did.

God bless kind readers.  I am so grateful for you.  You keep me accountable.
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Redoubling My Efforts

Sep 11, 2010

Today I felt fat for the first time in a long time.  It is time to redouble my efforts and remember what I was doing right.

An odd week, last week was spent with lots of traveling, uncertain foods and bad weather for walking.  The scale going up a pound and a halfwasn't as discouraging as the bloated feeling I got from not exercising like I wanted. 

I have know that I am still big.  But, I felt smaller, so much smaller, that it wasn't bothering me.  But, today I was feeling that "I want to be invisible" feeling again.  I countered it by going out into the public and chatting with strangers at a bazaar my town had.  It helped get my mind off of it and I felt my power again.  I also recited my affirmations that remind me of who I am.  I still feel a little shaky, but it will pass.  I am SO not going back to that "less than" existence. 

In the meantime, I am grateful for my friends here who even off-line keep me accountable.  I am thankful for those of you who read my blog and encourage me!  God bless.
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Out of the Pool

Sep 04, 2010

My exercise routine is changing as my pool is cold now.    I hope to swim a few times a week at the local Recreation Center, but mostly I'm a landlubber exerciser now.  I have new strength exercises from my exercise phys.  Boy, does she have high hopes for me.    Fortunately, she's starting me slow and easy and I'll ramp things up as I get stronger.  For aerobic exercise, I'm walking again.  It felt really good to walk a mile in 30 minutes last night.  My husband went with me for part of the walk and that was nice.  I woke up sore yesterday after doing those strength exercises.  But, that's okay.  I used to wake up that way because of the weight alone.  I love this transformation.  I love feeling stronger and being able to move like I want.  I love how my energy levels are rising and my fatigue is lowered. 

My life is full of great opportunities right now.  So many doors are opening, physically and otherwise.  I'm loving my life.

God bless all of you on your journey.  May you know joy and peace and continue in your weight loss/maintenance! 

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So Different for Me

Sep 02, 2010

1200 calories, 130 grams of carbs... who knew this would be harder to achieve than eating 60 grams of protein?  I'm near the end of the day and I'm 300 calories and about 50 grams of carbs short of that goal.  I suppose I'll learn how to balance this out.  

My brain functioning correctly is really motivating me!  I had a flat tire yesterday, called the dealership and worked out the details of getting my car in, etc.  I drive to the shop, walk in and talk to the person behind the counter about the phone call.  When he looked confused, I realized that I had gone to the wrong shop.    On a lower self-esteem day, I would have stayed at the first shop because I was embarrassed.  Instead, I apologized and walked out. Really, the brain fog has to go.  I've missed appointments, forgotten to follow up on things, not mailed bills... It's time to figure this out!

Thanks for reading my blog.  I appreciate the blog.  God bless you as you pursue your goals! 
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Never Been Told This Before...

Sep 01, 2010

"You need more calories and carbs in your diet" 

Woo HOO!  I was so worried that I was screwing my diet up.  I found out that I need to get 1200 calories a day and 130 grams of carbs per day.  I have only been getting 60-70.  Apparently, too few carbs affects your brain function, which would explain a lot.  I have been pretty ditzy lately.  (Insert your favorite blonde joke here.) 

Oh, I'm so happy!  I lost 20 pounds of fat and gained 2 pounds of muscle, a nice trade, I think.

Another cool thing is that I can have a small square of dark chocolate every day.  The catch is that it has to have 70% cocoa for me to have it.  But, I get to have chocolate every day.  I feel so blessed.

By the way, I had my 3 month post-surgery appointment today.  I got good feedback, kudos and warm feelings.

I went to the consignment store to get some clothes, which would be infinitely easier if my bottom matched my top, but I am a pear shaped person.  I'm a 1X (18-20) on top and a 3X (24-26) on bottom.  It felt SO good to buy smaller clothes.  This particular shop is only for plus sizes.  My upper half is almost too small to shop there.  I love my life today.

I hope that today brings wonderful wow moments to you!!  God bless...

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About Me
35.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
06/07/2010
Surgery Date
May 28, 2010
Member Since

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