ObesityHelp

I showed up 5 minutes late b/c I had my friend drive me and he's on that "other" time.  I'm officially down20 pounds.  My folks scale said differently, but I'll go by my surgeon's scale.  Grrrrr, I thought it would be more, but oh well, I"m comfortably getting into clothes that were skin tight last year.  I believe I've lost more inches than pounds.  The funny thing about it is I'm under my high school weight, but I wear a larger size.  Classy was more solid with muscles back then though.  I played sports and was pretty active before I discovered grown folks stuff.

Anywho, I saw the nurse who asked a few questions about how I'm getting along.  The NUT told me to eat more often and  the dr. checked my incisions and gave me a note to go back to work.  I was outta there in 20 minutes!  OH, I finally got one of those hugs everyone said the surgeon gives out.  They didn't tell me when to come back, but did say I can have Wendy's chili in the blender and strained.  Yeah right!  I was on the first thing smokin' to Wendy's.  I got a small chili and ate the whole thing.  No blender.  No strainer.  

I really hadn't been eating today.  I had a protein shake for breakfast.  1 1/2 imitation crab meat leg for lunch, and a 12 oz. bottle of Propel.  I really needed real food.  Again....I'm still on full liquids!  

I almost swung by my usual happy hour spot, but didn't.  It's too soon to put myself in the way of all that temptation....but I surely miss all of them.  They call and send cards, but there's nothing like the comraderie. 

I had my first WOW moment.  I bought this dress in 2002 and I use it to judge my weight gain.  For the past 2 summers it has been quite snug and I would have to pull and tug to get it over my hips.  I tried it on today and it fell over my hips with no coaxing!  It looks like it did when I bought it....cute with room to expand.  I decided to wear it to my pedicure appointment today.  

Now let's talk about my compliance.  I suck!  Today I cleaned my room, and carried a basket of laundry downstairs to my laundry room.  I'm not supposed to lift anything over 5 lbs., but I live alone and I can't have just ANYONE handling my skivies and fine washables.  I drove myself around in 90 degree weather even though I haven't been cleared to drive yet.  I had 16 oz. of soy milk with a scoop of EAS Vanilla protein powder for breakfast (that is the only protein powder I can tolerate right now), half of a 12 oz. bottle of Propel for lunch, and an imitation crab meat leg with a pinch of smoked salmon for dinner. I'm still on full liquids y'all!  

I take my vitamins, gall bladder, and stomach acid medicine religiously. I'm off the pain meds and nausea medicine.  All that percocet left over...that may be a nice treat come PMS time.   I ALWAYS get 64 oz of water.  I don't know if I mentioned it, but my mom and I use these disposable plastic cups, I know it's not environmentally friendly, but who cares when you can't bend over to load the dishwasher?  Anywho, I had been counting these cups as 8 oz. when they are actually 16 oz.  HA!  I've been getting at least 86 oz. of liquids per day.  It's no wonder I can't eat!  

A lot of people have PM'ed me about Splenda.  Everyone is different, but when I ADD Splenda to my tea or smoothies I get gas, so I stopped.  My Angel and surgeon's office said sometimes artificial sweetners bother pouches....what am I supposed to do with the 3 economy sized bags I have?  Note to Pre-ops:  Really, don't buy all that stuff in advance!  I have cases and cases of stuff I can't eat.  I'm tired of broth and creamed soups, and all of my protein powders.  I've decided to donate that stuff to the food pantry.  I'm going to keep the protein b/c I may start liking it again later.  

I haven't weighed myself in a few days.  I"m not going to either, not until I return to the gym.  Of course I'll be weighed tomorrow at my 2-week checkup, I can hardly wait.

Yep, it's Memorial Day.  I smelled peoples' grills all weekend and I survived.  OK, true, I did drink all of the pot liquor from my mom's greens, a little smoked meat, a little fried corn, oh, and a little corn bread.  Never more than a teaspoon of each.  I was stuffed!  But food never tasted sooooooo good.  I never liked cornbread pre-op, but now that I haven't eaten, I can taste the butter and all the other undertones in real food that I couldn't when i could gobble it down like an animal.  When you know you don't have much room for food, you really do savor each tiny morsel.  

Don't get me wrong, I respect my body and I'm not making it a habit of eating solid food when my surgeon says stay on full liquids.  I chew until it is liquid, or I chew and spit (especially a pinch of meat).  I don't do it everyday...besides, everyone else is doing it.  It's not habit...it's just recreational.  Only on occasion, I promise!

I finally had a solid BM after eating real food yesterday. So that's 13 days post op and finally a solid BM.  Sorry guys, I do this for the pre-ops.  The gas is gone for the most part.  Meaning, I can pass gas instead of have it pushing my organs around and pressing on my distended belly.  I had to stop eating so much Splenda (tip from my Angel, Trini-Peach) and it worked like a charm.  My incisions scabs are falling off and they're not as tender as they were before.  I have more energy everyday and I'm certain I'll be ready to go back to work next week. 

I've been such a prince, not a princess, but the Heir Apparent.  So ungrateful.  My mom took a week off work, paid for a hotel room, waited on me hand and foot, filled her home with tons of groceries I could eat and even sent them home with me and bought me more groceries for the puree stage...and I had the nerve to complain?  That's why I don't have any kids.  How ungrateful could I be?  I'm on a new diet, not her.  She can have all the doughnuts, fast food, and soul food she wants.  She's already gone out of her way to take care of me.  Not only the past 2 weeks, but for as long as I can remember.  She's a remarkable woman.  I'm truly blessed to have her in my life.  

I'm back at home now and I'm happy to be here.  I'm going to have to get used to living alone again.  It was kind of nice to have people around all day.  Maybe I should consider getting married and get it over with.  Whoops, I don't discuss my love life in depth on my blog....but that's just something to think about. 

Is it the 25th already?  Ten days out and I don't have to have my afternoon nap!  Yipeeeee!  Today is the very first day I haven't collapsed after lunch (if that's what we're calling 3 tablespoons of plain yogurt mixed with 2 tablespoons of SF jello and a half scoop of vanilla protein powder these days).  It's a shame what I've been reduced to.  I told you, I create some of the most heinous "full liquid" mixtures you'll never know about.  

By the way, there's a new porn star in town.  Her name is Rachel Ray.  I watched the Food Channel for like 7 hours straight yesterday and can barely wait for 30 Minute Meals to come on again today.  I love the way she tosses salad with her EVOO and GB...LOL!  I guess this is what prison is like.  Iron Chef, Ace of Cakes, The Food Network Challenge...I'm on it!  

I'm still staying with my folks, but I'm going home on Memorial Day.  I'm kind of scared, but I know I have to go back to the Real World sooner or later.  They just sneaked out to dinner, they don't think I know they're going to Red Lobster, but I heard them "whispering" about it.  I don't give a rat's ass!  I can't digest Cheddar Bay Biscuits ANY DAYUM WAY!  Now what?  I really hate the way my mother has bought so much junk food as of late.  She even bought a dozen doughnuts yesterday...I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but doughnuts are my cryptonite.  I never bought them pre-op, except for the Last Suppers, because I would have eaten 6 in the car on the way home and finished off the rest before night's end.  The paranoid me thinks she's trying to sabotage me.  I opened the box several times and took giant whiffs of them.  Then I put one in my mouth, chewed it, and spit it out.  That is playing with fire.  It almost seems bulimic to me.  It's good I'm leaving this toxic environment.  She told me yesterday that the Full Liquid Stage is our (WLS patient's) punishment for not being able to practice self-restraint in the past when it came to food.  I told her it's a privilege and lots of people out there would like to be in my shoes.  She didn't believe that crap and neither do I.  I just keep looking at the Before & After pics and reading profiles for inspiration.  

Oh?  Is it 5 o'clock already?  Time to Pour and Create another fabulous meal and choke down some more pills.  Smell you later.

I don't know if this is Wednesday or Thursday let alone the date.  The fatigue is indescribable.  I wake up tired in the mornings then I get these spurts of energy where I think I can conquer the world.  So I get dressed and slip on my shoes, ready for a shopping excursion with my mom.  Then I realize I need a nap and back to bed I go.    I often wonder if I'm going to be able to go back to work so soon.  Maybe I should have made preparations so that I could go back to work in 6 weeks instead of 3.  I'll only have to work 6 hours per day when I go back, so that should help a little.  
It's getting harder to get all of my liquids in.  I always get at least 48 oz. and usually get 64 oz. on a good day.  I abhor eating.  I only do it because I have to.  Can you believe I just said that?  I can't.  
I'm sick of the same 'ol same mushy, sweet, disguisting concoctions.  The smell of my protein powders make me want to yack.  I'm afraid to pass gas because I don't know if it's only gas.  I'm down 24 pounds from my starting weight (before the 2 week liquid diet) and I can truly say I believe I shyted all of those pounds away.  I'm really starting to regret having WLS.  Maybe I should have had the band....then again, I would have been on the first thing smokin' to McDonald's if I did.  My Angel, Trini-Peach, says "this too shall pass", I have to believe her, she looks great.  I'm going to lurk on BAF and get back to you later.