- Username: Suite1
- Location: Dayton, OH, USA
- Member Since: 7/2/2010
- BMI: 21.6
- Post Op
- Surgery Type: RNY (09/14/10)
- Surgeon: John Maguire
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Surgeon TestimonialJohn MaguireA friend who is an OR nurse told me that Dr Maguire is "old school" - meaning very methodical and very patient focused. He's introverted but very professional. He patiently answers all of my questions, stops what he's doing and looks right at me.
His practice is amazing. I'm a big fan of business systems and processes in action and I LOVE to watch the way things work in his office. His staff is amazing, all so warm & friendly. Seems like they become instant friends the first time you talk to them.
I was surprised that he stopped by at least twice a day when I was in the hospital to check on me. And he would spend as much time as I needed. I haven't had my first follow up visit yet, but I expect nothing less than the caring professionalism I've witnessed every step of the way so far.
Everything about his practice is very structured. Forms, paperwork, the "big binder" - all very easy to understand, all walk you step by step through the process. Again, business systems at their finest.
I'd recommend him to anyone, as I understand it, he is one of the best in the country. He is the first surgeon my family doctor recommends. Sure he's introverted, but as my husband says "who wants Johnny Carson for a surgeon?". I wanted and found a skilled surgeon with lots of experience in Dr Maguire.
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So far, so good. on September 28, 2010 9:16 pm
Things have been going so well so far. I don't see Dr Maguire until a week from today (he's out of town this week) but I started soft foods on Sunday. I've had no problems, other than getting everything in (protein, water & vitamins). I haven't been sleeping well and suspect it's our mattress. I get into bed and my back starts to ache (although it's fine all day) and I cannot find a comfortable position. If I do, it seems like I've got 5-10 minutes before I have to shift again. So I'll sleep in one of the guest rooms (we're empty nesters so we have several these days) and if I sleep well, we're going mattress shopping tomorrow!
Because of the lack of sleep, my schedule is very erratic. And I have a tendency to "wake up" by checking my email from my phone while in bed, so sometimes I get distracted and I may not have breakfast until noon! I'm working on it though and today I was able to get in 74g of protein and if I finish this glass before I crash, I'll be over 90 oz of water. I just popped my last multivitamin so I think I got all of it in today. It sure takes a lot of practice and focus!
Hubby has been walking with me most evenings. It actually works out best when we go out immediately after eating, it makes the 30 minutes without drinking anything go by that much faster! Every night we go a little farther. Tonight my feet were bugging me a bit - the first time since surgery - so I'm hoping this isn't a set back. Either way, we've super chlorinated the pool and will add PhosFree tomorrow so it'll be super clean. The heater is back on and I should be back in it on Thursday to swim laps or work with my beloved foam water dumbbells.
Mostly, I'm just so pleased, blessed and stunned by how easy it's been so far. I've not had a problem with nausea most of my life, so I didn't expect it now, and haven't had any. If I eat or drink too much or too fast, I get a strong hiccup and feel lots of gurgling and that's my clue to slow way down or stop. No pain, no real discomfort, but I'm also learning to avoid that hiccup in the first place.
Now I'm not saying this has been totally smooth sailing. I've had my days where I'm frustrated, fed up and about to become a headline - but it subsides pretty quickly. I remind myself that #1 this is a journey and I don't have to have everything figured out now; and #2 that I've stripped away a lot of my coping mechanisms (food, alcohol, Advil, caffeine, sugar) and I've got to fill that void with something more productive. First up is a presentation I'm giving on Oct 8th at the Regional Neighborhood Networking Conference. That involves a lot of Powerpoint work which is a creative outlet for me. Once that is out of the way, I'm going to pull out my old embroidery machine and reteach myself how to do it and start making holiday hand towels for the house and for gifts. I also want to improve my photography skills.
So, like I said...so far, so good. Doc said I'd have an easy recovery because it was an easy surgery for him to perform. He wasn't kidding! Oh, I forgot the two week stats - down 14# since surgery, 31.5# total, BMI has gone from 41.3 to 36.7 and I'm one pound away from losing 25% of my excess body weight. 
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Obsession! on September 22, 2010 8:27 pm
Surgery was a week ago yesterday (9/14/10) and I promised myself I would wait and only weigh myself on Tuesdays, once a week. Every day it was a challenge not to step on the scale, until Tuesday the 21st came. Then I was afraid to. What if I had gained a lot with the fluids & gas at the hospital? What if I didn't lose much? Anything? I stepped on, staring at the ceiling, because I was too nervous to look. We've got one that checks your percentage of body fat too, so it always takes a few seconds for everything to register.
I looked down and saw 254. That means I've lost 9.5# since the morning of surgery and 26# total since I made the decision and started working with the Nut. I was ecstatic - couldn't wait to text, email, Facebook the news. I was so excited I was sending text messages to people's email address and confusing everyone - because NONE of us knew you could do that. Then I thought, what if next week isn't just as good? And the next morning I thought again about stepping on it before next week.
Later I was on the Roux En Y forum here and thought about all the frustration when people hit stalls. The joy when the numbers go down, the frustration or anger when it stays the same, or worse...goes up. I think about how many of us are just so fearful that we will be the one who isn't successful. That this will be just like every other diet or "change in lifestyle" we've tried before only to regain all the weight and then some. How much fear there is that the lack of movement on the scale means we're done losing weight forever and now we fear regain...especially because yo yo dieters aren't known for their maintenance skills.
Some people have shared that they weigh every day, but only record the weekly number. That seemed like a good compromise at first, but now I suspect it's a rationalization. Why are we drawn to the scale? Because of the instant feedback. If it's down, we're thrilled and we get addicted to those endorphins. If it's up, we think like a gambler, the next time I'll hit, the next time it will be lower.
So I was in the bathroom, staring at the scale and thought I don't want to let my sense of self worth be determined by the numbers on a scale. Yet I also want a benchmark for my progress. So where is the fine line? I don't trust the size of my clothing to be accurate. Before this, I was wearing size 22 jeans, yet I could wear size 18 capris. Today I put on a pair of 16s. They fit better in the hips & thighs but are still a little snug in the waist. There's no uniformity in clothing sizes, so that's not a good benchmark if you ask me.
I always keep my measurements and check those once a month. They always help when the scale doesn't move but clothes do fit better. Then I see women here saying they've hit their goal, but still aren't happy with the excess skin or something else is still flabby.
I think about how the only time in my adult life I was at goal was 20 years ago. I kept trying on size 12s until my mother forced me to try on a pair of 10s (she took me clothes shopping for my birthday). No where in my personal reality did the possibility exist that I could ever wear a size 10. Then my sister started letting me wear some of her clothes (in exchange for dry cleaning) and I discovered I could wear a 9. Seriously? Single digits? Me?!?
You have to understand that from kindergarten through 8th grade, I was always THE TALLEST person in my class, not just the tallest girl. That somehow translated in my young mind to always being the biggest - and I didn't really have a weight problem then. Every time I had to buy a larger size, I assumed it was because I was getting fatter - possibly because I had a sister always telling me I was fat, and a brother telling her to knock it off, she'll give me a complex. It never dawned on me and no one ever told me it was just because I was simply GROWING. Trust me, I made a point of drilling that point into my daughter's head because she's also tall.
OK, I digress... My point is that in my mind, I've always seen a "size 12" when I look in the mirror. Even now. I look at the photos in my profile and think "that's not what I see when I look in the mirror". So when I was a size 9, I thought I was a 12. As a 2-3X, sometimes size 22, I thought I looked like a 12 - so I'm not sure I can trust "how do you feel when you look in the mirror" as an adequate bench mark either because I've been clearly fooling myself for a while now.
When I went from a size 18 to size 20, I rationalized in my mind that I'm the only one that knows what size I wear, so what's the big deal? That, unfortunately, only made it easier to forgive myself when I went from a 20 to 22. So that didn't work.
What is it about the number? I'm 5'9" - according to the BMI calculator, that means a "healthy range" for me is 126-168#. My doctor says a healthy weight for me is 156, but my personal goal is 150. So I think "168: Whew, that takes away some of the pressure" and then my brain switches to "OK, I know 126 would be way too thin, but I know I was down to 147 years ago and really thought I could still lose another 5-10#, so why not 137?". See what I'm talking about - I feel like I'm neurotic! BUT, I also know (or at least strongly suspect) that if you are reading this, you are more than likely nodding your head in agreement.
After years of yo-yo dieting, after a lifetime of pretty much knowing what I weighed at every major event in my life, and now that I'm at the beginning of this experience and hoping & praying that I don't screw this one up too - when will I be happy? 165? 156? 147?
Maybe I'll be happy when I can simply shop in any clothing store I like - although that's doubtful since I wear Talls. Or maybe when I fit comfortably again in my husband's arms? Or when I can be confident that I can sit in a kayak without sinking it or having it stick to my butt when I stand up? When I'm able to put my foot up on the chair I'm sitting in and paint my toe nails and STILL be able to breathe normally? Or when I'm comfortable in a coach seat in a plane - although I'm not sure anyone ever really is unless they are a normal sized 5 year old.
I know I need some sort of tangible, objective, statistical benchmark to gage my progress, but I fear that I may never be happy with the body I have. What happens if I'm 150, wearing a size 10 (or smaller) but still don't like what I see in the mirror or photographs? Will I need a boob job (or lift) to feel better? A tummy tuck? My arms or neck or butt or thighs done? I know logically, rationally and intellectually, I know in my HEAD that my body image is not the key to my happiness....that losing weight won't make me happy. That's why I've been working so hard to address so many emotional reasons for why I got here in the first place. Happiness is a state of mind, or a place in the heart, and that is the real goal here. If I just happen to be a size 10 or less, then that's the icing on the cake.
Now, remind me of this post when I freak out down the line because the scale isn't moving!!! But seriously, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Especially if you've been able to conquer this obsession!
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Home Sweet Home! on September 17, 2010 3:56 pm
I'm home! Surgery went much better than I expected. Doc told me I have "good anatomy" and when I asked what meant he said that I didn't have the fat build up around my organs that is typical with most obese people. As a result he said it made for a very easy and textbook surgery for him and will make for an easier recovery for me.
I haven't had any problem with nausea (other than spelling it). My BP is already back down to the levels I prefer. Mostly it just hurts to bend or twist and I still can't sleep on my side, which is a challenge. And I've noticed if I sit for too long, I get more gas build up so I try to walk a little bit here and there and it helps.
Knowing they pumped me full of fluids and gas, I'm going to stick with my pre-op plan to only weigh myself once a week - on Tuesdays to coincide with the surgery - and measure once a month.
Anyway, it's good to be home. My biggest challenge now will be boredom and cabin fever. Dave & I are used to eating out most nights and we haven't done that now for more than two weeks. I miss the socialization and running into people we know. But then, it'll be fun down the line when I run into people and the weight has come off.
Disclaimer: I'm noticing the impact of the pain killer on my communication skills, especially written. So if a sentence makes no sense to you, please know it sounded perfectly logical in my brain!!! Please be patient.
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Hungry, hungry hippo... on September 3, 2010 8:16 pm
I started my pre-op diet on Monday, technically a day early. I felt very self conscious in the grocery store - the crazy fat lady with a full cart of Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones and other diet meals, low fat jello & pudding, popsicles. People would look at my cart, look at me and look back at the cart. Probably a good does of paranoia and self consciousness on my part, but they had to be thinking "whoa, is someone shopping hungry today?". I don't like grocery shopping so I tried to get everything I could for the next two weeks. Some of it was for this past Wednesday's full liquid diet in preparation for my endoscopy on Thursday.
That came back showing a hiatal hernia which they said would not affect the surgery and would be "taken care of with surgery". I don't know if that means they'll work on it during the surgery, or if just the weight loss from surgery would eliminate it. It's right at the opening of my stomach. Either way, doesn't sound like anything to lose sleep over.
I got pretty hungry Wed doing liquids only, but managed fine. Yesterday after the procedure, I didn't have much of an appetite and didn't get in everything. I think I missed an instant breakfast drink and the optional veggies. Today is a different story. I've been hungry all day, even lightheaded and a bit of a headache. It's interesting to learn the difference between real hunger and emotional hunger. When I smelled the pizza in the parking lot behind the Oregon Express tonight, I almost got emotional!!! LOL.
At first I thought I was eating about 500-600 calories a day, but I realized the shakes have more calories than I thought, so it's closer to 900-950 if I don't eat the veggies. Given we used to eat out virtually every night of the week and often times for lunch as well, I don't think I fully appreciated how large the portions truly were. I went into this saying I would only weigh myself once a week, but have been very curious this week. I appear to be dropping a half pound a day. That's kinda fun. But I am going to go back to Sunday or Monday mornings only so it feels like more progress.
Things were going fast until this point, primarily because I had one appt a week and that provided mini milestones for me. With the last appt out of the way, I'm now just waiting for Sept 14th to come. Once I start digging into my pre-surgery personal to do list of things to do around the house, I think the next 10 days or so might go faster than it feels like right now.
Patience was never my strong suit!
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