Hi, my name is Amy. I started out pre-op at 311+ pds. ( I got weighed 3 weeks before my surgery and I ate like a pig the last week before I had to start shakes), thus the 311+, in the end it was probably more like 315 but my scale only went to 286 at the time! Thank God I'm 5'10". My surgery was on October 5, 2005. I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy, I felt that it was a little less risky and little less $ too.  A better option for me and I have a feeling that it's going to work!  Today is Saturday, January 28, 2006, I am 226 pds. today! I went from a size 28 to a 16-18! I feel and look 100X better than I did less than 4 months ago. I still have about 80 lbs. to go but I know I can do it. I am a mother of 3 children, a 17 year old, a 15 year old, and an 8 year old. My husband and my children have been very supportive. After our insurance company denied us after 4 appeals he told me to go ahead and take the $ from the equity line in our home! I love him for that! I will post my middle of the road picture on as soon as I can and then hopefully in a few more months I'll post my after photo. I love this web site and thank all of you for your support, it's great! AMY
2-23-06
I finally posted some before (NOT Very clear) and now photos of me, I know I'm not exactly at 100 yet but I figure that by the time they post them I will be, I only have a pound to go!


2-23-06

Well, I am about a pound away from the big official 100 lbs., I want to get there so bad. I know I will get there by my 5 month anniversary, which is on March 5th. If I keep losing I might just get to my next goal by my 5 month anniversary which is to NO LONGER be OBESE, at 208 I will be only over weight, huge moment!!! Then the next goal will be when I NO LONGER have a "2" in front of my weight for the first time since.......... FOREVER!!!!! I really think it may be since middle school. Gosh, I've been fat for so long. Last night my kids were taking photos of me and I actually started to cry when I saw the pictures because I don't recognize that person in them, when I look in the mirror I STILL see the old ME. It sounds so strange but I think that if you look at the same thing over and over for 30 years you tend to believe that this is the only YOU there is! As I get down past the 200 lb. mark I will be in territory that I have NEVER been at as an adult, in some ways I am scared. I am getting positive attention that I NEVER got as a FAT person, only stares or whispers behind my back! Something New to get used to. I have a strange obsticle to overcome and if anyone else has ever had this problem please let me know: At 19 years of age, I had everything: NEW SPORTS CAR, RECENT MAJOR WEIGHT LOSS, TAN, OWN APARTMENT, GOING TO COLLEGE, GOOD FRIENDS, BOYFRIENDS, GOOD PAYING JOB. One night I went to sleep and about an hour afterwards I woke up to a fist in my face and was raped by someone who apparently knew me. They never caught him! I am over the rape itself, it's been 20 years this year and I am a SURVIVOR! The problem is this: Now, I am getting to be a confident 39 year old that looks better, feels better, is financially secure, good kids, good husband, good life. Now, sometimes the thought creeps in that if I keep going (losing weight) and all is going SO GOOD AGAIN when is the horrible thing going to happen to me again! I guess it sounds like I'm 2 but it's something that I TRY not to think about but it does creep in every once in awhile and I get SCARED! I know it's a major thing to discuss but I am pretty open about everything, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed just SCARED sometimes! Well, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I should go get ready for work!

Thank you ALL for all of the GREAT encouragement!

2-26-06

Yesterday I finally reached my 100 lb. mark. My picture was acually taken at 99lbs. but I don't think the 1 pound would have made that much of a difference in the photo. I'm trying hard to take the whole approach of "ONE DAY AT A TIME". I am going to get an MRI on my upper back on Monday. My breasts are falling SOUTH really quick and because of thier size I will need to have a breast reduction this year. I am on steroids right now, it is making me a little cranky , NOT hungry at all. I have force myself to eat.
I am having the MRI to establish back problems so that MAYBE the insurance will cover THIS surgery as they wouldn't cover the VSG surgery.

Thank you ALL for all the support, I feel so lucky to have found this web site, us sleeve buddies have to stick together!

3-3-06

Today my BMI is now just overweight, I am no longer OBESE, this is BIG. I am 2 days away from my 5 month anniversary, March 5,2006. I am exeeding all of my goals. I pray that my progress continues even if it's slow, at least it's progress! I am getting more and more confident. The results came back from the MRI and I need to have a needle injection out patient surgical procedure done in my back to eleveate the pain. None of the medicines seem to agree with my stomach. It's like getting an epidural, I've had one of those when having babies but it still freaks me out because of the whole spine thing! I better go off to work now.

3-14-06

Well, today I went shopping after my horrible and VERY painful back injections of steroids. Shopping always cheers me up these days! Today I went into the juniors department and picked out a size 13 juniors peasant skirt.........it FIT!!! If it wasn't for these child birthing hips of mine ( 3 kids later) I might have even gotten into an 11...........too cool! I am still 1.4 pounds away from my 199, that is going to be a banner day, I may even fly a flag outside my house telling the whole fricking neighborhood.........I NO LONGER HAVE A 2 BEFORE MY WEIGHT!!!! Of course everyone in the neighborhood would think I was CRAZY!!!!

3-16-06

Oh my Gosh, so close but yet so far!!! I am at 200.2 this morning!
I'm praying that tomorrow will be the day. Thank God for working at Curves, I think it has really helped to keep the weight coming off! I will write more tomorrow if I can and hopefully I will be in ONEDERLAND!!!!


3-17-06

Happy St. Patricks day to MEEEEEEEEEE!!! I am an OFFICIAL member of "ONE"derland Today!!!! Today my scale said 199.4, I started to cry. I have not seen a "1" in front of my weight since I was in middle school, 12 years old, 27 years ago! Wow, I am so pleased with my progress. People are still asking me if I am done yet, I just answer them, " Nope, I have about 40 more pounds to go, if I wanted to be an overweight person when I finished I wouldn't have speant $18,000.00 on this surgery, I want to be NORMAL!" In my world that means a size 8-9. At 5'10" tall I can honestly say that I will probably get there at 160 lbs., That is less than 40 lbs. from now, that is soooooooooooo do-able, I can't wait! I'm thinking.......... 3-4 months from now in the begining of Summer, I may be able to go to the New Water Park with my kids!!!
I'm finally starting to feel really good about who I am becoming, outgoing, fun, funny, kind, generous person who is enjoying life instead of watching it pass her by. I NEVER want to be that other person again and pray every day that that won't happen, I'm not going to let it.

3-25-06

Today I am looking at actually hitting the 180's by the next week or two, I can't believe it! I am 194 this morning and I love seeing the #'S KEEP GOING DOWN! I am trying to get more protien in these days in hope that the hair loss will stop! I'm getting a little concerned. I know that I probably won't go bald but I am concerned when I take a shower and the drainer is full of hair in the end.

4-2-06

Well, the 180's look like I might see them sooner than the 5th! Today I weighed 190.8. I am so excited and pleased with the continuing progress. Every day I drop a little or a whole pound! Never in my wildest drems did I think that I would hit 120 pounds in 6 months! I have an appointment with Dr. Rosenthal's office on Friday and I am going to get all dressed up in my new clothes. I'm so glad that I have a chance to get checked out and hopefuly they will use me and others to help get this surgery to be covered by the insurance companies like the RNY is now. April 5th is my 6 month anniversary and I feel that I am right where I am supposed to be!!!

4-5-06

Today I hit my goal of the 180's. 189.4, over 120 pounds down from my last weigh in! This is my 6 month anniversary date too, I love this surgery!

I decided to try my anniversary ring on that I bought a few months back, it's a size 7 1/2, oh my God it FIT!!! It is a little snug on my finger but it fits, I thought I was going to have to take it to a jeweler to get it sized up even after I reached my goal weight.

This is a GOOD DAY!

4-8-05

I hit a little plateau there for a few days but after going to the bathroom a FEW TIMES, I think it was all the fiber stuff I ate, I am going back down again. I am a daily weigher so I know what affects me and what doesn't.

4-9-06

Things are slowing down quite a bit, I would really LOVE to get rid of the last 30 pounds, my goal is 155- 160. Everyone that I know keeps telling me to stop and that I look fine now and that if I lose anymore I will be too thin. I just want to have a "NORMAL BMI" for the first time in my life since about 7th grade. I thought I would write down some things I would like to do still and things that I have accomplished thus far:


Things I HAVE accomplished in the past 6 months:

1) crossing my legs
2) having more energy
3) working out at least 3 x a week
4) taking a cake decorating class, all 3 of them including fondant
5) starting my own little bussiness
6) losing 120 pounds in 6 months!!!!
7) being a better Mother
8) going to the dog beach
9) getting my size 7 1/2 10 year anniversary ring on my finger
10) getting into a size 12 jeans, never thought that day would come!
11) going out more often
12) doing more for ME instead of everyone else all the time
13) sitting in a chair without feeling like I'm going to bust it
14) fitting in a booth with much room to spare
15) fitting in a movie theater seat without feeling uncomforatable
16) telling people/my family that I once weigheed 310 pounds
17) getting under the weight that I was when I was raped
18) wearing in fashion clothes and having fun sharing clothes with my daughter.
19) knowing when I'm FULL
20) feeling good about me for the first time in 20 years!


Things I still want to do:

DONE! 1) get a breastLIFT/ reduction due to pain! NO MORE PAIN!
DONE! 2) have a picture taken of me and be proud of what I see!
done!!! 3) get my arms done so I can wear a sleeveless shirt
4) go to the beach in the day and not be ashamed
DONE!! 5) go to the water parks with my kids
DONE! 6) ride on scary rides without being scared that my obese body will break it or won't fit in the seat
7) JOG
8) ski
DONE! 9)ecome a substitute teacher, maybe eventually a certified teacher
DONE! 10)get plastic surgery on my arms, legs, tummy and done in that order!
DONE!! 10) roller blade
11) Ice skate
DONE!12) get my thighs and butt done so I can where shorts in public without feeling uncomfortable.
Working on this one "ONE DAY AT A TIME!" 13) Keep this weight OFF FOREVER!!!
will add more later when I think of them

4-15-06

Well, I was on a week long plateau, hopefully todays 1.2 pounds is a good sign. I would really like to be at my goal in the first year, maybe sooner! I have 26 pounds to go, if it keeps coming off, I am happy, I do not feel deprived at all anymore just happy to fit in those size 12 jeans!

4-22-06

O.k, today I sat in a movie theater with my arms crossed in front of me and did not touch either arm rest! This may not seem like much but this is coming from a person who had to use both arm rests and then some and I used to SQUEEZE into the seat and be uncomfortable the whole time. I now have 22 pounds to go till I reach my goal! I weigh I 182 today and I seem to be over the plateau but it's coming off slower now. I still can't eat much, it's weird, I just had 3 shrimp and I'm full. That's the same amount I was eating when I was 3-4 weeks out! People have been asking me how I'm going to stop losing weight, the answer to that is........I don't know really, I'm hoping that if I up my calories with good food and cut back on my exercise to only 3X a week I can stop. I guess I think about it a little but right now I just want to get to my goal and then I'll consider stoppping.

4-23-06

Today is 181. That was my goal abut 3 years ago when I started Atkins, never got there then but I'm here NOW and what a feeling! only 10 MORE POUNDS TO GO TILL I AM "NORMAL BMI"!!!!!

4-25-06

180 today. Got a terrible headache, think it's hormones. Making an appointment with the O.B. to get it checked.

4-26-06

Hit the 179 today! NEVER, did I think that I would get here so fast! I can't believe I have only 8 more pounds till I am a "NORMAL" BMI. I guess I sound a little obsessed with this "NORMAL" thing but I can not imagine ME being a "NORMAL" anything! All my life I have always been the "BIG" girl or the "FAT" one. To actually be a "NORMAL" person or the first time in my adult life will be pretty darn COOL!

4-29-06
I am at 178 today. I have 7 more pounds to go. The count down, I wonder how long this will take?! I bought a bathing suit yesterday, it took me 2 hours to pick it out. I also chose to subtitute teach at Cierra's high school. She isn't real happy about it but I have to get a day in some where and it is going to be there I guess. I am accomplishing many of the goals on my list, this substitute thing is going to be a big one once I do it because I never thought that I could so when I do I will have accomplished a goal that I thought I NEVER would have done when I was fat!~

4-30-06
I am 177 today. We worked out in the yard yesterday and I worked at Curves and then came home and cleaned and did laundry too. I wore my new bathing suit while we did yard work with my bottom cover up and actually felt o.k.

5-1-06

I found out today that I only have to lose 2 more pounds to get to a normal BMI! I am 5'10" tall and I need to get to 174 to get to a "NORMAL" BMI. I thought I had about 4 more pounds to lose, so this is really good news. My goal is to get there by my May 7th, that will be the 20 years from the day that I was raped, it will be symbolic of going back to being "NORMAL" again for the first time. It may sound wierd to some people but it was a LIFE ALTERING night for me and I am ready to start to move forward with my life again, I wish it wouldn't have taken me 20 years to figure out that I have given him WAY TOO much control, not just with the weight but holding me back from being who I REALLY want to be or who I REALLY SHOULD HAVE become. One night that changed the course of my ENTIRE LIFE!!! NO MORE!!! I am getting stronger by the day, I can feel it. I KNOW that I can accomplish BIG things in the rest of this life that I have and theres plenty of it left, so there, he didn't WIN anything, I did!!!! 2 More pounds, I can do this! I rode 6 miles on the bike tonight and did a workout at curves today, hope it helps get me there.

5-5-06
Wow, 7 months and another goal hit, unreal! I love this surgery!!! I am NO LONGER OBESE, NO LONGER FAT. I am NOW "NORMAL", for the first time in FOREVER.......30 years probably I have a normal BMI.

5-28-05
It has been over 3 weeks since I've lost any real weight. I've dropped about 2 pounds. I don't care too much because I know with the upcoming plastics that I will surely drop another 5-10 pounds in fat and skin! I am trying to up my calories and eat more fruits and veggies and whole grains. I want to make sure that I can maintain, and I think I can. Somedays it's really hard to get even 800 calories in. I don't think that I've EVER gone over 1000 calories in one day, I'm lucky if i hit 800. My next appointment is on Tuesday the 31st of May for all the pre-op stuff, I hope he has the portfolio ready so that I can look at all the before and after photos. I am excited and nervous, It is only about 2 1/2 weeks away!! I will be getting my BOOBS, ARMS, and STOMACH all done at once, I hope I am doing the right thing. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see, right now I am seeing a whole lotta wrinkles, I look like my grandma not like a 39 year old woman!

6-3-06
Today I am in the 160's!!! I stepped on that scale and it said 169, wow!!! I am really excited. I never would have thought I would see it, I have been stuck in the 170's for about a month so this is nice to finally be in the 160's in June. I would like to see 165 by my birthday next week. I don't know if i can lose 4 pounds in 1 week but I'm going to try and bike ride every night and not eat after 7 p.m., it seems to work for me if I don't eat late at night. I began yesterday taking the pre-surgery vitamins for the plastic surgeries, it is now less than 2 weeks away. I'm still scared some but feeling very anxiuos too, I've decided to keep busy getting my house in order and we are going to go to Disney the weekend before so that will take my mind off of it. I want to do something fun with my daughter before my surgery so that she doesn't feel that she didn't do anything fun all summer. I will be laid up for about 2-3 weeks and then healing more for the next 3-4 weeks. I fear that I might take longer to heal because of having so many at once, I hope that is not the case but if it is I will feel good about taking the little one SOMEWHERE for a mini-vacation. The other 2 will be gone with their Dad to North Carolina for a week and then cheerleading camp and also Ohio, they will be VERY busy, it's the younger one that I worry about not doing enough. She is going to camp for a week too. I'm rambling.....better go get my stuff done that needs to be taken care of.
6-12-06
Went to Disney, lost 3 lbs., I am now 162!!! ALL that Walking must have been good for me! Will talk all about Disney later.
6-19-06
Today is my surgery date for my arms boobs and belly. I weighed in at 161.5. We left the house at 5 a.m., I arrived at around 7: a.m., after the Dr. saw me and marked what he was going to do in what looked like permenant marker and I meant the anesthesia guy, by 9 a.m. I was being wheeled in to the surgery room, the last thing I remember was the anesthsia guy saying are you ready for the happy juice, and I said yep and that was it. 10 hours later I was done. He thought that it was going to be 6 hours, he speant 5 hours on the boobs alone! 7 lbs. of skin removed! I love him and think he is a wonderful Dr., If these turn out as good as I think that they are going to I am going to be so pleased!!! My arms are so thin and the stomach is flat and the girls are SO perky and cute! This is NOT an easy procedure and without my kids and Hubby and friends I could not have done this! It does hurt and it is hard to get around for awhile too. Today is my 4th day after surgery and I am getting up and down on my own. Still coughing some. Can't laugh, cough, or cry without major pain. The arms are VERY TIGHT and healing so nice. The boobs are looking good and I have nipple sensation which is great!! Major bruise under right side and by the armpit area where he had to do some liposuction, that was the bigger boob as I'm sure you can see in the before photo.. The stomach is still VERY swollen and scares me more than anything because I always loved the fact that I had this tiny waist and now look like I've put on 20 pounds around my middle area. Before I went in I measured my waist and I couldn't believe that it was 29 inches, I hope I can get that back again sooon!

6-29-06
Today I am 10 days out from my surgery. I weigh 159, first time I stepped on a scale in 10 days and I still am swollen. They said 2-3 weeks till you see all the weight from the surgery actually show on the scale, I figure if I weighed 161 going in I should weigh 154 now since he took off 7 lbs. of skin, right?!! Yesterday was my dr. appointment and he was so please with my progress. He took out all the tubes and gave me my compression garments for my stomach. I went to Super walmart and got a new sports bra and then I ordered one of the full body stockings off the internet, it will be here tomorrow and will cover my arms boobs and belly. This should be interesting. I am still VERY happy with the outcome so far and I feel pretty darn good. I drove today and went over to Curves to say hello. Everyone said I looked great! I miss work and can't wait to get back to my old schedule. I am calling tommorrow to set a date for the butt and thighs. He said he can do them together, I am hoping I can get them done during the Thanksgiving break when school is out and the in-laws are in town to help with Shelby. I NEVER thought I would be alright with getting the bottom half done but I SO BADLY want to get this over with and move on with the rest of my life! COMPLETED!!


7-2-06

I weighed in at 159 still this morning. It's alright if this is where I stay forever. But, it's very weird that someone removes 7 lbs. of skin and you only lose 2.5 lbs. but if that how it works, I'm not arguing, I feel good! The scars are looking so good. I took a shower yesterday and let my body dry, keeping the compression garment off until I was completely dry and then I noticed that the glue was starting to come off so I started to peel it away slowly, making sure that I was careful. I can't believe how great it looks! I am going to take another shower today and keep rubbing the scars like the Dr. told me and I'm going to start applying the vitamin E and scar cream as soon as possible.

8-1-06
After one day/night of working on the floor at Macaroni Grill I found out that I am UNABLE to do it right now ( the lifting, carrying, and more lifting!) , I guess it's too soon after my plastic surgery. I am known to push myself too soon but when I came home after working for 10 hours (1/2 was training) I KNEW that I was not going to be able to do this right now......... stomach/arm incission pain big time . I called them and told them and they understood, so did my Hubby thank God. I will just have to curb my spending a little and after my 2nd round of plastics,( I changed the date to September 22nd so that I could go back to work (somewhere?) a little sooner). I figured that I could substitute teach on my days off from Curves until the other surgery and then by the time our seasonal farmers market opens back up in the end of October I will be well enough to start making and selling all of my goods, this year will be EVEN BETTER than last year,(last year was my first year) word is out that my stuff is good, I am getting calls on my cell phone to deliver, I love that! I can't wait till we move to North Carolina and I can open my little shop up! Nan, I am going to work on a carrot cake this weekend, maybe with a healthier cream cheese frosting? Are you alright with that? Thank you ALL for letting me vent! Kinda feeling funky today about the whole job thing?!!


8-7-06 MY 1ST WATER PARK ADVENTURE!
Well, we left the house at around 6:00 a.m., ate breakfast on the go, got to the park at 9 a.m., it opened at 9:30. We were one of the first 20 people in the gate! It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, kids didn't fight with eat other (17,14, 8........most of the time it's pretty crazy, LOL!). We had to leave the camera in the locker for fear that it might get wet......sorry NO PICS!!?? The first 10 slides we had no wait in line at all! The first slide that we went to looked like a demon drop and then in the end you skid across the water on the board, still need to be careful of the body, especially the stomach area............. well, Shelby and I opted out for that one and hoped for the best on the rest of them. We went on EVERY SINGLE RIDE after that! UP 3,5, and 7 flights of steps without getting winded, all morning and into the afternoon! I went down on some of the slides with my kids, some of them alone, some of them racing my kids down side by side, some on the same tube with the whole family. We had a blast!!! I felt like a KID again! Some of them went SO fast and twisted and turned and it was all with water so NO real hard impact or jolting! I felt so normal, not the "BIG MOMMA" who sits on the bench and watches her kids have all this fun, I was HAVING ALL THE FUN! I got to enjoy my kids and hubby and they got to enjoy me too! THIS is why I had this surgery~!! Thank you all for your support here, I am crying happy tears now because I had such a wonderful day! I wish I could have taken ALL of you with me, I truly do!

P.S. I thought my computer was broke and I wouldn't be able to tell all of you thank you and how great my day was. My wonderful Son fixed it!! Just one more thing to be thankful for today!


8-12-06

Today i am 1/2 of the weight that I started out at. I am 155 today! I am so happy to see those #'s. I NEVER could have imagined that I would ever lose half of me. I am so happy. I have 3 healthy children, a wonderful husband, a nice home, and I feel good about the direction that my life is going in. After the next round of plastics which are in 6 more weeks ( September 22nd) I plan on going back to work FULL-time or getting another part-time position somewhere like a health food store or something. We have a new Wild Oats health food store opening up about 10 miles from here. I don't know if I want to go into a large health food store like that or maybe a smaller one? I have been experimenting with recipes for sugar-free muffins and other things too. I am happy with some of the results, some are not too good.

8-22-06

I am 153.5 today. I have officially lost all the weight from my first round of plastic surgery. The next round is on the 22nd of September and before that we are going on a cruise to Mexico and other islands from the 10th to the 17th. I am excited and a little scared to go because it's hurricane season. The sugar-free muffins are wonderful! I have found some great recipes and now all I have to do is get the O.K. to do them at the farmer's market that starts up in the end of October. I am still working at Curves and trying to really build up my muscles before my leg/butt surgeries. I have 3 weeks to get in shape and I will workout on the cruise as well. I really like to exercise now that I can get around better. I really like bike riding around the neighborhood with my Hubby and Daughter. I try to do that about 4-5 X a week and usually on Sunday I take a break from it all and cook and clean and piddle around the house. I really love to go out now but i still like being home too! I think I will always be a home body at heart but I like to go out and do fun stuff now too!


9-4-06

I haven't been great keeping up here with my updates but I weigh 151 this morning and I am a little concerned, I lost 2- 4 pounds this week, it all depends on which day you weigh? I am trying to maintain and I am trying to eat more and I am still exercising too. I am wondering if my metabolism has jump started big time and maybe I can even get off the thyroid meds!? I don't know but it is worrying me a little because at my height 5'10", I can't get much smaller or I will start to look sick and too thin.
We are going on a cruise next week. i won't be able to weigh myself for a whole 7 days. Dan and I are going alone and the 2 older kids are staying with their Dad and Shelby with friends. We have some people staying at the house to watch the dogs and house. I hope everyone is alright and that there isn't any problems while we are gone. I would be so thrilled if we came back and all was well! After we return, I will have 4 days to get everything ready for my surgery and then I will be getting the bottom half done. Then I will be a completed project! I hope that I recover as well from this one as I did from the first 3 surgeries. I start taking the pre-op vitamins this week and will be taking them while on the cruise too. Not a big deal, I'm fine with it! I just have to be sure and remember the ones at night because we get busy having fun and I might forget. Alright, well, I better get busy packing!

9-22-06
Cierra (my 17 yr. old) and I left forthe hospital in Weston for the 2nd and FINAL round of plastics to be completed. I drove up and she will stay with me and then drive home. Everyone on the VSG site has been so supportive, I LOVE THEM ALL!!!! I also thank God that I have a support network and I am finding myself needing them less and less (that is a great thing)! I am finding that I can help others now instead of NEEDING the help myself. This is a wonderful thing!

9-23-06
Surgery went well, I am home. Cierra did great and really showed me that she is growing up, that makes me happy and sad at the same time. She will always be my BABY. When they swtched my room to a private one I walked across and Cierra and the Nurse were helping me and I tried so hard not to pass out and keep walking........made it all the way to the edge of the bed and then BAM, I was out! Cierra helped me and the Nurse got pissy with me like I could control it or something! The nurses and help at Cleveland Clinic leave something to be desired! I am not as happy with what I see right now as I was with the upper half. I hope that as time goes by and I am able to wear the compression garmets that this will change. I have a small leak up by my left knee area in the incission, doesn't seem to want to stop, I will call tomorrow if it doesnt slow down. It is hard to get around but easier than the last time. Harder to SLEEP this time but easier to get around. Being able to use my arms for support is a wonderful thing. I can't seem to get comfortable on my stomach at all.

9-25-06
The leaking has slowed down but not stopped. I am pleased with my progress of recovery but still not sure about the results yet. It is 3:30 a.m., I am still having trouble sleeping and I may go wash my hair and empty my tubes.

9-30-06

I am feeling better. Still getting dizzy, can't wait to get the drainage tubes out, I think that will help with the dizziness. I am now officially off the pain meds. The last time I took them was last night. I do not like how they make me feel. I am still getting a lot of fluid out of the drainage tubes. I am hoping that getting off of the pain meds will help and I will heal up really quick in the next 4 days. I want the tubes out so bad on Tuesday. My apointment is at 3:00 and I think I will have Cierra go with me instead of having Dan get off work early, I think it does her more good to go and see what I'm going through. She asked me to put her on a diet and she is really sticking to it. She is working out at the wellness center and hanging with the boys is a bonus there too. I have been writing down the wonderful, isightful things that I have learned in the past year in a book. I am going to tranfer them to this soon. October 5th is my 1 year anniversary and I can't wait to be able to actually say that I made it through EVERYTHING in 1 year and I feel GREAT! This has been the MOST interesting, insightful journey of my life. I can't wait to be done with all the pain and MOVE ON with the future. I will be updating everyday, it is theraputic and I am bored, LOL!!

10-3-06

Alright, well, I thought this one would be a breeze like the first round! Wrong!! Since the surgery I have been feeling really dizzy if I stand for more than 10-15 minutes.............I thought this would pass after the first week or so because I was losing a lot of blood. The bags are filling up and have way more fluid than the first round. I can't sleep on my front, my back or my side...............????? how do I sleep, I am back in the recliner with my back arched and I sleep for about 2 hours and then have to get up because I am in pain. Today was my checkup with the Dr. and when I went to go watch my little girl get on the bus I about passed out , I also have 2 gaping wounds between the thighs ewwww, so I called him (he is 1 1/2 hours away) to ask him what to do and should I come in right now. He said I need to go to the E.R., and probably need a blood transfussion. I decided to go to the walk-in-clinic and that was a GREAT decission because they had everything right there and ran my blood counts, took my temperature and blood pressure. the blood counts were low but not low enough to HAVE TO HAVE a blood transfussion, thank God. So after this I went straight to Weston to see the plastic surgeon and he looked at my wounds and the tubes and the #'s and he is happy. I wish I was as happy with the results. He says to achieve the results that I want we must go in again and lift up the 2 sides, this will cost me!!! I don't think I'm ready for this, it will need to wait at least 6 months to a year. I need to let my body heal and regain ALL my strength before undergoing another surgery. My family also is not ready for this.

10-5-06 A YEAR OF LEARNING AND GROWING:

Today is my one year anniversary from the time I got my VSG surgery. I have had some extra time on my hands so I decided to start thinking of things that I've learned in the past year and how my life has changed SO VERY MUCH!

1) This being called a "tool" is a MAJOR understatement. The "tool" will work for you but YOU have to make it work. This is not a quick fix to all your problems. Spending that first year working on emotional issues as well as losing the weight is VERY important.

2) EVERYDAY is an adventure on this journey. Some days are good, some days are bad. This is not easy but it is WORTH IT! Having the wonderful network of people on the VSG message board has gotten me through some rough times and some GREAT times but just being able to talk to other people who understand what you are going through is so VERY important. Even if I just go on and read and reply it is theraputic.

3) I don't like being dependant on anyone. I LOVE my independance and never want to give that up. I am a control freak. When you have ANY surgery it requires you to be dependant on others to help you, this is VERY hard for me because I am the one that does for others and I have a hard time excepting help from people. I can live with ALL the pain from all the surgeries that I have had in the past year but the lack of independance bothers me more than anything! I miss driving, shopping, and doing for others.

4) I went into this VSG surgery KNOWING and WANTING it to be a "life changing procedure". I NEVER felt that it was a quick fix or that this would not be FOREVER. Look ahead, make this work and think of it as a lifestyle change FOREVER. Any other diet that I would go on I would always think that once I got to my goal weight ( that NEVER happened), I would start to eat what "normal people" eat. I am not "NORMAL" I will never be "NORMAL". I am ME and this is what works for me. I can not go back to eating fast-food, white sugar, white flour, white bread and other full sugar foods. My body does not react well to these and that is alright because I am prepared to spend the rest of my life eating the way that I am.

5) Our bodies are machines- To run properly they must be fed the right foods for YOUR particular body. One person may need more carbs, one preson may need more protein. The VSG has taught me how to listen to my body and hear what it is asking for. I have to have a large amount of protein to keep going everyday. Now that I'm on maintainance i eat the protein first still but then I add the good carbs in there and I have been able to maintain for about 4 months now. This works for ME. Someone else it may not. We are all so different.

6) It took me having an $18,000.00 surgery to be able to "hear" my body and what it needs. I am o.k. with this and I am worth every penny that I have spent on myself. I deserve to be happy and healthy and feel good about myself when I look in the mirror.

7) In the beginning it was 90% the surgery and 10% me. Now, after just one year it is about 70% me and 30% the surgery. I KNOW that in the next year I will still have to continue to be strong and most likely by the end of this next year it will be 90% me and 10% the surgery.

8) MY BODY is about 3-4 days behind. If I exercise today and eat good and want to lose weight, it may not show on the scales for 3-4 days. This is just my body. I found this out through being a DAILY weigher and sometimes it would take 3-4 days to show on the scales when I did a massive work-out.

9)I like what I see in the mirror, I like who I have grown to be, I am happy with my size 6 body. I will never be a size 2-4 and I am NOT a petite person. I really do have a medium/large framed body, I am 5'10" and weigh 145 lbs. and with a BMI of 20, I am quite pleased with this! When I started this whole proccess I was over 310 pounds and my BMI was 44.4. I NEVER want to be "THAT PERSON" again!

10) I LOVE shopping but I have to be careful not to exchange my food addiction for a shopping addiction. We will go broke, LOL! I still love to hunt for bargains and now it is almost overwhelming how many choices are out there. I am spending SO much less because I feel that now I am in charge and can be picky about what I do or do not buy. I am in control now where as before I had to take what was there in the VERY few shops that I had to choose from and sometimes pay retail becuase I didn't have a choice.

11) I've always LOVED cooking. It is my passion, I am good at it. I STILL love cooking, it is my passion and God gave me a gift. Now, I can cook healthy, good food and still get excited about it and not feel guilty for loving it. It still excites me to spend the entire weekend cooking and creating and being with my family. I am excited about the market opening VERY soon, 3 more weeks. I will one day own a little restaurant someday so I can share my gift and sell sugar-free and healthy food that tastes good too. Even if this doesn't happen for 4 years it will be worth the wait.

12) I have to continue to remind myself that I am NO LONGER OBESE. My head still hasn't fully caught up with the changes that have occured in me in the past year so sometimes when I look in the mirror I still see that "FAT" girl staring back at me.

13) I have to remind myself to keep my head held up, posture straight up instead of slumped over as if I'm still carrying the large breasts and the 310+ body weighing me down.

14) I am a better Wife, Mother, and Friend because of feeling better about who I am now. My family and friends can see the positive changes in me.

15) I DO NOT NEED NEGATIVITY in my world even if it is my own Mom and Grandmother. Even though these people are family (blood relatives), it doesn't mean that I have to have a relationship with them if it makes me feel like crap when I am around them.

16) I have lost over half of what I was and grown emotionally and spirtually 10X over through this journey.

17) I am ready to begin my wonderful new life now!

18) Being a good role model for my children IS IMPORTANT!

Things that comfort me besides food now:

1) spending time with my kids and hubby!
2) laughing and hanging out with my friends!
3) riding bikes with my hubby and daughter!
4) petting my dog and playing with him!
5) Having great conversations with my daughters and son.
6) Working at Curves......being able to work with friends and exercise too!
7) My new little sugar-free market stand. A new venture.
8) Shopping for size 6s!!
9)Crafts and other projects.
10) Very little television but the shows that I do watch now are ONLY the "favorite" shows! Greys Anatomy for sure!
11) reading
12) laying in the sun
13) getting my nails done
14) taking care of ME so I can take care of others better!
15) doing for others
16) talking on the phone to my best friend Jen.
17) reading, learning, posting and helping others on the VSG board!

10-25-06

Well, it's going to be 5 weeks since the last round of plastics. I am feeling stronger every day now. Last Monday, October 16th?, I got the last of my drainage tubes taken out and he told me to finish on the antibiotics and yelled at me for losing too much weight (theres a first!!). As soon as he took those last drainage tubes out I could tell I was going to be alright. My body apparently does not like to have foreign objects in it. The same thing happened the last time too, as soon as he took out the drainage tubes I felt SO much better. I went back to work on Thursday of last week. I finished up all the antibiotics and the left leg has stopped hurting ALL the time. If I stand on it too much it hurts but I take rests at work, the girls are SO wonderful to me and so are ALL the memebers too!!! Eventuallly I think I will be pleased with the results for the most part. They don't look like my arms but my legs had much more cellulite than the arms had so I need to happy with it and move on! I will be starting the farmers market in the first week of November and I can't wait to see the response to my new sugar free stuff! Nan, if you thought those muffins were good you should taste some of the other things I have come up with................s-f strawberry cheese pie,s-f pumkin roll, s-f coconut cake, s-f lemon/lime cake, WOWOWOWOW!!! O.k , so I have a few little wow's I need to throw in too.......................I weighed myself today on a public scale in the grocery store for the first time in my life!!! I also bought some workout pants that are a 0-2 XS. I am not a 0-2 XS but these just happened to fit me and be on sale so I bought them for work and I think I'll just keep the ole tag on them and show the whole world, LOL!!! Thank you EVERYONE again for your kind words and prayers, you all are AWESOME!!! This was a tough time but with wonderful friends and my family I can get through anything!! AMY