I am so excited!!!  My support system is nervous and excited for me too because they know how much this means to me which is really awesome.  I also have a support system at work through my boss and a co-worker.  God is truly blessing me through this and I know I will be successful. I have no fears or anxiety about this whatsoever.  Some people have a fear of the unknown which is completely understandable.  I am simply focusing on the hear and now and doing what I know I need to do for my health.  I want to be around for not only myself but for my family and my soon to be born nephew who is arriving in June.  I will only be 2 months out of surgery when he arrives but it will be so worth it and I will already be losing weight and already be a healthier aunt for him.

Some people are afraid they will die during surgery.  Again, God has me in His hands.  I don't fear that either.  I have a good surgeon and am just not worried about that.  I have researched this and have done my homework as well.  If my surgeon or the hospital had a poor reputation then I wouldn't be going there. 

My only concern, I guess, would be after the surgery and helping my roommate around the house.  We have animals and they will need feeding, some medicating, etc.  I want to be able to help her with some of that as well and not just rest most of the time although I know I need to do that too.

I will do what the doctors tell me I can and can't do physically as well as what I should and shouldn't eat.  This is going to be a life changing adventure and I am keeping my eye on the prize which is a new and healthier me!

So far my triglycerides are 211, my overall cholesterol is just over 200, my Vitamin D is 12, my wbc is slight elevated (not surprised), I have a hiatel hernia (small), GERD and I have sleep apnea.  My knees are hurting more and more and my back hurts more.  All of this and I haven't gained any more weight AT ALL.  It could be partly psychological, sure, but my knees have been hurting for quite a while.  That's NOT IN MY HEAD.  I'm still exercising when I'm not in pain.

This weight is pissing me off now.  My emotions have been really all over the place for the last two weeks.  I've been wondering if I should even do the surgery so I can just emotionally hide behind my weight and now I'm pissed off because I'm tired of hurting, being tired and feeling crappy all the time.  I just want to be healthy and feel good again!! 

I'm going to the Duke seminar tomorrow night from 6-8.  It's fortunately being held in Raleigh so getting off of work at 5 and getting to the meeting on time will be easy (I hope).  I'm excited to learn more information from the experts!!  I've talked to lots of people who have had the surgery already and all but 1 said they would do it again.  I think that's pretty good odds.  It sounds like it's a matter of following the rules and guidelines your doctor and dietian give you.  What's the point of going throught he surgery if you're not going to make the lifestyle change? 

I'm looking forward to hearing all the information they have to give me.

She's all for me going forward!  YAY!  We talked about whether I had done my research (which I've done TONS), the various types of surgery, pros and cons, etc.  Going to a free seminar next week at Duke to hear what they have to say.