Change your "food Talk":

< "Food Takl isn't conscious. It is not rational. It was 'taped' long before your logical thinking processes were even developed, and it has been reinforced ever since." (p.100)
No wonder over coming eating habits has been so hard, but CAN be done!

< "...Food Talk of winners is almost entirely free of foodie message... Their internal dialogue is full of supportive, positive messages about their bodies, their health, and their sense of control over their lives." (p.101)
This is where I am struggling. Getting food OUT of my mind! Getting it from being foremost centered in my thinking. I find even going to bed that I start thinking of just being a cook on a cooking show! I have forever banned myself from watching food shows! It's not helpful to me! I don't need the added work to combat unhealthy foods and obsessing over food constantly.

<"...you can rerecord our internal tape and free yourself from the old Food Talk." (p.101)
I have done this somewhat with my daily affirmations. I need to focus MORE on changing that internal dialogue.

< "Many Food Tak messages are subliminal- you feel them and respond to them, but you aren't consciously aware of hearing them." (p.101)
I know this is true!

< "Go back to your trigger foods...write down the first ten words or phrases that come to your mind about that food." (p. 101 & 102)
Mine had repeating easy, fast with my trigger foods. If food is easy and quick, then I grab it. I'm a convient, lazy eater! lol

< "Cognitive Switching is a simple process of replacement and repetition - replacement of the old Food Talk phrases with new, fuctional messages and a repetition of these new phrases so that they become part of your unconscious." (p.103)
That is why my daily affirmation and response cards from "The Beck Diet Solution" are soo helpful and needed daily. To help me change my thinking! 

< "Any hypnotic power that foods hold over you is the power that you have given them." (p. 105)
I'm NOT at the mercy of foods! I WILL change my thinking and free myself! FOREVER!! I am a THIN person! I have THIN thinking!

*** He goes on to give a list of ideas for recording your daily cognitive switch thinking recordings. Ue positive words and focus on healthy, thin, exercise, energized and being successful along with anything else that you want to change your thinking about.

< "They should speak to your personal strenghts, your unique accomplishments, and your most treasured goals...make you feel good about the work you are doing and encourage you to do more." (p.112)
EXAMPLES: (p. 114 & 115)
* "Each time I say "No, thank you" I say YES to thin.
* "The most important thing is not WHAT I eat for lunch or dinner today, but HOW I live my life, today, and every day."

< " The biggest threat to our weight control is to get cocky and think you're cured. This is a LIFESTYLE, not some arbitrary number on a scale." (p. 122)
This is HUGE for me. I'll do great at saying my daily affirmation and then I'll just peter out and in comes those old habits again and back to being fat! No more! Every day. It's a life style change! It's a way of being THIN! I am thin! I think and act like a THIN person! I love being THIN and healthy!!

I even make slide shows with photos/clip art with the new thinking I want to impliment. A car i want to buy. Be more prodcutive, energized, better organized, ect. Along with my daily response cards I read and my affirmation dvd I recorded. It's out dated and I need to update it! Changing my thinking is making me THIN, healthy, active, and filled with happiness and joy!

Step five....Conquring cravings! WOOT! At the thin healthy me appearing!

Today I will....
~be kind, loving, and healthy to myself
~love my body and mind and know that I AM who I want to be
~speak kindly, lovingly, and softly to my kids and family
~take time for myself
~eat only healthy meat & veggies
~ have a completely carbless day
~ leave desserts out of my eating from this day forward
~exercise my dog for an hour daily
~ review this affirmation as often as needed.

 

What I have ate:
B: 1/4 cup Scottish porridge
L: 1/2 cup chili beans w/cream cheese (1/3 fat-free), diced onions, salsa, shredded cheese, turkey Kalb's slices
S:  serving of almonds
D: d
S: c

My Schedule:
7:40am~ Wake up
7:45am~ Shower kids for school/ get kids dressed (Monday & Weds)
8:00am~ get boys' breakfast & ready for school
8:30am~ Stephan on bus ~ my morning yogurt
8:55am~ Kaleb & Joshua on bus
9 am~ yoga
10am~ walk dog/C25k
11am~ shower/brush teeth/ get dressed/ hair & make up
noon~ Lunch
12:30pm~ house chores (laundry, sweeping/mopping, cleaning, ect)
2pm~ writing, spanish study, flute practice, ME time
3:45pm~ get boys' snack ready
4ish pm~ Boys home from school & eat snack
4-5pm~ My program
5-7pm~ cooking/eating dinner & clean up; make lunch(s)
7pm~ boys homework
8-8:30pm~ Little boys bed time
9pm~ Quiet time w/Stephan & yoga
9:30pm~ Stephan & my bed time (brush teeth, wash face, face cream)

Thoughts, Feelings, Rants~~
1:30pm~
My neighbor's dog passed away early this morning. Poor woman was VERY upset obviously. I can't help but feel if she had taken her dog into a vet and kept his shots and heart warm protection up to date that her dog might not have died. I just got done paying $170ish dollars to have my cat and dog vaccinated and their monthly flea and tick meds (along with the dog's heart warm dose) and consider that if I own a pet it's going to cost me money to keep them in good physical health. Now I know that not EVERYONE takes this view and that's fine. My own mother doesn't, but I feel that if people did, then perhaps the neighbor and her children next door wouldn't be mourning the loss of a pet. Just breaks my heart that I suggested taking her dog in to see the vet in July when I noticed he was thin! Poor thing stopped eating. I'm so glad my dog is protected! I hate to think if he had heart worms or something contagious! Then my dog would be at risk.

I went and tended her kids for her while she took the dog to be disposed of and had a very good time playing with them! We sang and danced and ran and did follow the leader. Built a fort out of sheets and had all kinds of crazy fun! They are soo good for me and as soon as mom walks in instant change in kids! It's interesting to see how children behave. They totally give you the behavior that you expect of them.

Gonna do my yoga about 3pm today. Late I know but I just got back home at 1ish and had lunch about 1:30. So a late day. hehe

I started my oat porridge today. Unfortunately I put too much maple butter in it! It was waay too sweet. I totally needed the added fiber. Though I have been having bowel movements every couple of days at least without the use of x-lax, but it's slow going and rough!! hehe I don't want to injure myself or do permenate damage. So more fiber here I come! lol I'm going to have another 1/4 cup (which ends up making 1/2 cup serving) this evening and forgo the maple for splendia, cinnamon, and nutmeg. hehe Think it will taste FAB! Yummy for me!

I'm at 196 today. I'm not freaking. I'm on my period, so I KNOW weight will fluctuate. It's to be expected. Staying under 200 lbs is good and moving back down that scale! I'm still working my sleeve and it's still working for me!

Sticking to 1/2 cup servings and NOT over eating! Keeping my sleeve a tiny as I can! I want it to stay small forever! Want to keep my servings small and healthy. That's the plan and that's what I'm doing!

I can't do my deep breathing after eating. So I have to wait til I have an empty stomach. hehe I am shooting for first thing in the morning before I eat to get it in and get my body energized! I can totally feel the difference today of NOT doing it versus yesterday when I did. I was rocking and rolling, today, I'm sitting and lazy! hehe

Keeping positive and focused forward. This is a journey and it won't be made in one day! My focus is for life not short term number on the scale. I have to have healthy habits to keep me healthy for the rest of my long life! That's what WLS was for me. Not a race to be a size 6 (though that will be nice! hehe) in six months. Working on working me!

Always take time to feel the love around you and the sun on your face.

Today I will....
~be kind, loving, and healthy to myself
~love my body and mind and know that I AM who I want to be
~speak kindly, lovingly, and softly to my kids and family
~take time for myself
~eat only healthy meat & veggies
~ have a completely carbless day
~ leave desserts out of my eating from this day forward
~exercise my dog for an hour daily
~ review this affirmation as often as needed.

 

What I have ate:
B: fiber cereal w/almond milk
L: Thai mushrooms & butterbeans w/tofu
S:  serving of almonds
D: 1/8 cup whole wheat pasta & 1/2 cup alfrado sauce w/turkey sausage, onions, & peppers
S: 1/4 cup alfrado sauce

My Schedule:
7:40am~ Wake up
7:45am~ Shower kids for school/ get kids dressed (monday & Weds)
8:00am~ get boys' breakfast & ready for school
8:30am~ Stephan on bus ~ my morning yogurt
8:55am~ Kaleb & Joshua on bus
9 am~ yoga
10am~ walk dog/C25k
11am~ shower/brush teeth/ get dressed/ hair & make up
noon~ Lunch
12:30pm~ house chores (laundry, sweeping/mopping, cleaning, ect)
2pm~ writing, spanish study, flute practice, ME time
3:45pm~ get boys' snack ready
4ish pm~ Boys home from school & eat snack
4-5pm~ My program
5-7pm~ cooking/eating dinner & clean up; make lunch(s)
7pm~ boys homework
8-8:30pm~ Little boys bed time
9pm~ Quiet time w/Stephan & yoga
9:30pm~ Stephan & my bed time (brush teeth, wash face, face cream)

Thoughts, Feelings, Rants~~
11:30am~

I did my breathing exercise this morning and then the neighbor called for me to come and look at her dog (he's not eating and VERY thin) and see if he did have something in his throat. I felt it and it was just his throat, the ridges in it that she was feeling since he's soo thin. She has been calling the vet and not able to get through and actually TALK to a person. I told her she'd have to go in and actually make an appoinment in person. Poor doggy! He won't even eat canned food! He's really sick! He tried to eat some while I was there and he had dry heaves and just threw up stomach acids. I hope she's able to get him in soon, cause he's SUPER thin!

I am going to be doing my yoga before lunch. I soo love doing it! It just makes my whole day! 

I am hoping that I won't be getting a call from Joshua's teacher today! I reminded him all day yesterday and this morning that he needed to act nicely! If I do have to go get him, then I'll have to walk down there. I soo need to get my bike! UGH! Food and paying bills of course take priority over getting a bike! lol Plus Kaleb's birthday is this month. He is wanting a party at McDonalds. hehe So gotta have the money to pay for that. I'm hoping not very many kids will be coming! hehe Can get expensive! 

I have a friend coming to Dallas for a visit on the 19-21 of October and I totally want to get down there and see her! Patrick put in paper work to get that day off so I can drive down there. WOOT! Gonna be TOTAL fun I think!! Yeah us!! hehe

I'm just doing laundry and cleaning here and there.

Stephan had a HORRIBLE headache last night and went to bed without eating dinner or his brownie! He was totally NOT feeling well to NOT eat his brownie! He woke up and he was VERY warm so I gave him some Tylenol and a popsicle. I didn't want him to get dehydrated. He got up this morning and gave him more meds and some cough drops since he was coughing and he was soo good he started right in on doing his homework that he didn't do  last night! I was so proud of him for making such a good choice and being responsible! I have to think of a good reward for him for doing that. I think I'll go shopping Friday while they are at school and get him a special treat.

Kaleb wants to have a picnic this weekend. My neighbor told me about a really cool park so gonna take them there so they can feed the ducks too! I think they'll love it! Nothing better then a picnic! hehe Take the dog so he can enjoy the great outdoors too! I need to buy a ball that the boys and I can kick around in the huge back field of our house now that its finally a nice cool day. Have all the windows open since this morning and the A/C is OFF! Woot! Just the fan and opened windows with FRESH air flowing in!! Love it!! Patrick has had our bedroom windows opened since a couple of nights ago and just soo wonderful and fresh smelling and LOVE the great breeze. I do think fall has FINALLy arrived! hehe


There is never a time in life when YOU are not important! Make time every day for YOU.

10pm~

Had a wonderful night! My phone died while talking to a friend from a RPG game I played many years ago. It was soo wonderful to catch up and find out what is going on in his life! 

The kids were very good tonight. Even though the little boys didn't eat their dinner. They all did their homework and Stephan even read to Joshua! Yeah for him! He really seemed to like it too! I think that might be something that I have him do several times a week. Not only helps him with his reading, but also helps build his relationship with this brothers.

We played our blind man bluff game tonight and I've been thinking what other games can we do before bed. Tomorrow we are playing London Bridge is falling down. You know it!! hehe I think it will be soo much fun! Plus help them learn rythms! Which is always helpful.

I just finished Step four in my "Thinner Tastes Better" book and about to post what I have found helpful. It's an exciting part of the book since the doctor gets down to telling you HOW to change your mindset in relation to certain foods. It's something I've been doing, but his is a bit more focused on specifics of just food, where mine are food, life, and relationships. Because it is a whole.

Just a good family night! Just a wonderful day. Tomorrow will be just the same! Good day, gret kids, wonderful husband. Perfect life. Not in that my world and family are perfect, in that my life and my soul are perfectly where they need to be. In God's loving hands to guide me to what will help to make me a better person, mother, and wife. That's what is perfect. I thank Him for that. For loving me enough to give me hardships so that on days such as these I'm so very thankful to be able to rest easy and enjoy such beautiful splender and share it with those I love and who love me.


It doesn't matter what you call them, as long as love is what is shared.

Today I will....
~be kind, loving, and healthy to myself
~love my body and mind and know that I AM who I want to be
~speak kindly, lovingly, and softly to my kids and family
~take time for myself
~eat only healthy meat & veggies
~ have a completely carbless day
~ leave desserts out of my eating from this day forward
~exercise my dog for an hour daily
~ review this affirmation as often as needed.

 

What I have ate:
B: 
L: 1/3 small fries; 1/2 McDonald's value menu double cheese burger
S:  
D:
S:

My Schedule:
7:40am~ Wake up
7:45am~ Shower kids for school/ get kids dressed (monday & Weds)
8:00am~ get boys' breakfast & ready for school
8:30am~ Stephan on bus ~ my morning yogurt
8:55am~ Kaleb & Joshua on bus
9 am~ yoga
10am~ walk dog/C25k
11am~ shower/brush teeth/ get dressed/ hair & make up
noon~ Lunch
12:30pm~ house chores (laundry, sweeping/mopping, cleaning, ect)
2pm~ writing, spanish study, flute practice, ME time
3:45pm~ get boys' snack ready
4ish pm~ Boys home from school & eat snack
4-5pm~ My program
5-7pm~ cooking/eating dinner & clean up; make lunch(s)
7pm~ boys homework
8-8:30pm~ Little boys bed time
9pm~ Quiet time w/Stephan & yoga
9:30pm~ Stephan & my bed time (brush teeth, wash face, face cream)

Thoughts, Feelings, Rants~~
2:30pm~

So, long story short. Stuck on freeway, Stephan late for counseling. Still was able to get in to see counselor; lunch at McDonald's before taking Stephan back to school. Did great with eating VERY little. Call from Joshua's teacher when I got home (I mean as soon as I drove into the garage!!) and had to turn around and pick him up because he was screaming all the down the hall and ripping things off the wall! I'm wondering if these people have EVER dealt with special needs before?? Only his teacher in pre-k and kindergarten knew how to deal with him. I've been as honest and straight forward with these people as I can be!! You MUST be firm with him. He has NO choices. He MUST as he's told. Period. If you give him options then he works it until he does ONLY what he wants. That's pretty self explanitory right??

So I get him home and have him clean his room. Help with the laundry and he didn't get a snack. Since he wasn't at school, he doesn't get one until the other boys get home from school. Making being home as unfun as possible. Plus, no computer and NO t.v. time. He doesn't get to pick ANYTHING. He has to watch what is already ON the t.v.

Brought home his work from school too. His teacher said she felt bad for him having homework?? Ummm...I MAKE him do at least a couple of worksheets at night!!! Plus some reading and math flash cards. Sheesh! No wonder this kid is out of control! Who IS in control of the classroom?!?! I'm thinking I"m totally gonna have to school with him and show them how strict and firm he has to be guided. His first year in pre-K, he REFUESED to sit down so his teacher had to belt him into a safety chair. lol Finally the last month of school, he FINALLY got it and would sit in the chair himself. His second year of school his teacher had to hold him in her lap during circle time because he'd try to crawl into his cubby. Again, it went on for literal MONTHS until he FINALLY got the idea that no matter what, he HAD to do it. He came around and he LOVED his teacher. To this day he goes up to her and hugs her!

Just very frustrated with a supposed seasoned teacher that seems to be a student teacher as far as experiance goes. UGH!!


In the most difficult of times, it's what you focus on that counts. What do you see in Yourself?

Today I will....
~be kind, loving, and healthy to myself
~love my body and mind and know that I AM who I want to be
~speak kindly, lovingly, and softly to my kids and family
~take time for myself
~eat only healthy meat & veggies
~ have a completely carbless day
~ leave desserts out of my eating from this day forward
~exercise my dog for an hour daily
~ review this affirmation as often as needed.

 

What I have ate:
B: cereal w/almond milk
L: grilled chicken w/turkey bacon, cheese, & ham (3ounces)
S:  
D:
S:

My Schedule:
7:40am~ Wake up
7:45am~ Shower kids for school/ get kids dressed (monday & Weds)
8:00am~ get boys' breakfast & ready for school
8:30am~ Stephan on bus ~ my morning yogurt
8:55am~ Kaleb & Joshua on bus
9 am~ yoga
10am~ walk dog/C25k
11am~ shower/brush teeth/ get dressed/ hair & make up
noon~ Lunch
12:30pm~ house chores (laundry, sweeping/mopping, cleaning, ect)
2pm~ writing, spanish study, flute practice, ME time
3:45pm~ get boys' snack ready
4ish pm~ Boys home from school & eat snack
4-5pm~ My program
5-7pm~ cooking/eating dinner & clean up; make lunch(s)
7pm~ boys homework
8-8:30pm~ Little boys bed time
9pm~ Quiet time w/Stephan & yoga
9:30pm~ Stephan & my bed time (brush teeth, wash face, face cream)

Thoughts, Feelings, Rants~~
1pm~
Today I went through ALL of my clothes. Tried them on and I have two whole baskets full to take either to the clothes exchange at my next WLS group. Or to the second hand store that's by my health food store. There are some really nice items in there. I also got some of my old 'skinny' clothes out and hung them up! One shirt is even too big now!! WOOT! I'm rocking and rolling. hehe
 
Psych appointment went great! I told my dr that I had started yoga and he was totally interested and wanted to know which DvD I was using and so I have to get the name of it and call his reciptionist with the info. He said he hasn't found any yoga classes around town. I'm thinking there should be at least ONE...but I haven't looked either. I know the Y here is really good and offers a variety of things. But I did tell him I'd give him the info on the one I use. I told him it's VERY basic and really good. Hope he likes it. hehe
 
My BP is 'normal' I was hoping it would be low, so I'd then have to get off the meds I am on. UGH! Oh well, I guess genetics works. hehe I'm thankful that I have the meds and the chance to be healthy! That's the important thing.
 
So, other then the same ole, same ole, that's all that's new. Stephan's counseling appointment is tomorrow. I wish I had a battery for my lap top. I'd take it with me so I could do some writing. Reading is a good thing to do while I'm waiting though. It's nice and quiet in there too.
 
There was a morbidly obese woman that came into my psychitrist's waiting room while I was waiting and she was in a wheel chair. She had to have assistance when she went to the bathroom too. I felt so badly. I wanted to tell her about WLS, but felt that it wasn't my place. Ya know? Perhaps had there been fewer people in the waiting room I might have. She reminded me so much of my mom. It really made me sad.
 
My mom is having a ver hard time financiall right now too. Last month she only made $300!! She works from home too. Due to her age and weight there just is not anyone willing to hire to her. We've started sending money to help her out since she did so much to help us. I just, I wish she would have taken my brother Jim up on his offer to pay for her to have the RNY done when he worked for Disney! At least then she wouldn't have the health issues and have the prejudice against her due to her weight. Plus she'd be able to get around better. At this point I think she is just basically ready to move on from this life. She's so tired and unhappy with where she is. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to help her. It's where she is mentally. It does make me VERY sad for her! I just keep praying for her. Helping her as I can. Hopefully she'll come out of it and realize the good in her life.
 
It turned SUPER cold as of last night! I mean this morning it was in the 50s!! It went from 90s to low 80s!! WOW!! hehe After lunch gonna take Toby for his walk. It's a beautiful fall day. I'll snap some photos to share.
 
Had a phone call on Friday from Joshua's teacher about his poor behavior. UGH! He had thrown a chair, and a box or book and then was outside and playing 'tag' which meant he was trying to make other children play with him and he pulled a little girl's hair to make her 'it'! Oh man!! He was grounded from the computer all weekend it for his bad behavior. I had to tell him this morning that he needed to act nicely in school if he wanted to play on the computer when he gets home. Yesterday he ended up going to time out several times. He's getting an attitude. Gonna have to nip that right now! hehe



My too big clothes! WOOT! My poor closet and drawers look bare, but I'm soo happy about filling them back up when I get to goal!! Go me!! WOOT! hehe