I have a glimmer of hope in my heart!  My DH got new insurance, and the insurance I have at work has changed a bit.  Also, wonder of wonder, the hospital has decided that bariatric surgery is NOT an elective procedure like plastic surgery and therefore treat it as they would any other surgery.  In other words, I don't have to come up with the full amount before the surgery can be done!  I have gone back to my wonderful surgeon, Dr. Oakley, and I have a new surgery date, April 5th.  I am almost afraid to get excited as this will be my third attempt, but this time I feel it will happen for me!  Too bad I now weigh more and I have insulin-dependent diabetes, but that's the way it goes.  On a positive note, my surgeon now does DS laparoscopically, so no huge incision!  That's a HUGE bonus for waiting!  I must admit, the last time I had to cancel my surgery I fell into a huge depression, and threw away all my research and supplements, etc., so am trying desperately to reacquaint myself with the nutritional requirements, and to restock the supplements.  I am not feeling as well prepared this time, but I don't care...I WILL HAVE THIS SURGERY OR DIE TRYING! 

Yesterday was scary bad for me.  I have been so upset and tense over this whole needing money for surgery and not being able to get it.  Then yesterday DH tells me he thinks I jumped down his neck when he asked me about his hair (?!?) and again when he made a comment about the wisteria bush growing next to our front door.  He has hated that bush since the day I planted it 17 years ago, so I told him to just cut the stupid thing down and get it over with.  Didn't scream or anything, just stated it in my normal voice.  Anyway, for some reason him accusing me of attacking him sent me over the edge.  I couldn't stop sobbing.  I had to quit work an hour early.  I canceled my doctor appointments, took myself off facebook, tried to get off email but couldn't figure it out.  I boxed up all my WLS stuff to get rid of it.  I threw away all my research notes and information, and all the handouts I have gotten.  I wanted to be erased.  If I could have figured out how to be dead without killing myself I wouldn't be here to write this note.  I was able to work last night, but I bet my line counts are horrible.  Then I went to bed.  I slept the clock around, which I never do.  Woke up this morning feeling a little better, but kind of shakey, can't eat, etc.  I got a nice note from Heidi and Teri and Sarah (thanks ladies) and decided to try to get something accomplished in regards to my surgery.

So, I have been totally stressed out over this downpayment requirement from the hospital where I am supposed to have the surgery.  To some folks almost $15,000.00 may not seem like much, but to me it is astronomical.  I have exhausted all the loan options I could find on-line.  Today I got on the phone, which for me is tantamount to being water-boarded.  I started with the billing department, went to customer service, then on to the hospital loan counselor, over to Human Resources (I am an employee of this hospital), who shuffled me to benefits.  Each time I had to tell my story, and after yesterday my voice was shakey and I cried more than once... I don't cry, ever!  The outcome is, bottom line, bariatric surgery is considered elective, like plastic surgery, and elective surgeries require the full downpayment.  I can appeal this, in writing, with any documentation I can possibly come up with.  Then the appeals board will take a look at it and see if an exception can be made.  Then I called my private physician and my rheumatologist and asked that they write a note stating this surgery is medically necessary rather than elective.  It is my last chance, so am choosing my words carefully as I write my appeal.  All fingers and toes will be crossed.  I honestly feel like I am fighting for my life.  I told the billing lady I felt they were handing me a death sentence, and I really don't feel this was too dramatic.  So, that's the latest in this fat old lady's tale of woe!