I am 27 years of age and unlike so many of the profiles I have read I am not married and I do not have any children. But like so many the reason because of this is my weight. My weight has caused me to avoid so many of the wonderful aspects of life. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember and my memory is pretty long so we're talking all my life here. Looking back I never had a problem with my self-esteem , I just knew I was the "biggest kid", but I was so cool and friendly and nice and sweet that I didn't let that bother me. Then after I found out I wasn't getting invited to any of the sleep overs or any outtings then it became a problem, THEN it started bothering me. I think I went on my first diet at the age of 8. Whew how sad is that!!! I guess it worked for a while, I was wearing "normal-sized" clothing for my age. But I liked to eat and I did eat and eat and eat. So by the time I was in the 8th grade I weighed 250 pounds. Now you and I know that is very serious to be that heavy and so young. Well life moved forward from then on I was on every diet known to man. I have lost thousands in gym memberships. I know exercise is the key, tried it done it, failed, succeeded and failed some more. Moving forward to the summer of 2006. Well first I have to let it be known that I have had high blood pressure since I was 23 years old. Yes 23!!!! Well in June of 2006 it reared its ugly head because I was working fiercely and not taking my medication as i should have and I bottomed out at 220/140 landed in the hospital, ended up in there for an entire month. My weight almost took me from this earth. I had to have a shunt put in for the excess fluid on my brain and spine. THE PRESSURE!!!! After that surgery, for them not making me get up and walk, well I suffered the inevitable, Pulmonary embollisms, yes of course blood clots in not one but both lungs. And I couldnt blame anyone but myself for all of this because if I had not of been there for surgery I wouldnt have had to suffer this complication and be on a bloodthinner. So the end of my rant lands me here. I do not want to die because of my weight, let me die from a car crash, from a freak accident, air crash. Trust me I do not have a death wish, I'm merely making the point that I do not want to die from something that I can prevent. Because being morbidly obese is just that a death wish waiting to happen, it's like the longer you wait the sooner you will be cashing in your chips and I'm too young for that. I want to live and enjoy my life and experience so many things and I cannot do that with this weight on me. I do not have to be convinced that WLS is for me, I KNOW IT IS!!!  It is so amazing how when I put my mind to anything else I can do it, I can achieve it, I can make it happen and be the best at it, But this this weight stuff oh man, I have tried and failed and tried and failed and tried and failed and I'm sick of failing and I know I need help. Before I used to think oh man that's the easy way out!!!! ha!! yeah right, no it's not and reading all of these wonderful profiles on this site is a real eye opener it is not,  you still have to make that conscious effort to discipline yourself, and you truly control your success. I love that part I really do, because that is something that I have not been able to do and I want to see that come to fruition in my life. I am tired of being tired of being tired. I want life, I want happiness. I know it's a long haul and a long journey and a life change, but so has being overweight, it has been a life changing event but for the worse and yes it has been a long haul, yeah towards death and destruction. It's just that simple. I have been able to be truly honest and open about what got me where I am today. I'm what you call the person that makes everything happen for everyone else. If you need me I'm there, You need something, I got it, you ask me and I'll give. But guess what when Shon needed that in return, no one was there to give that back to her( that's a hurtful realization) but guess what was there, you guessed it: FOOD~~~ oh yes in whatever abundance I wanted it, at whatever time, oh yes always on time and it said just what I needed it to say, Nothing!! Just taste good and feel good going down. So I didn't get any help so I continued on being everyone's savior but mine and I ended up ruining myself and slowly killing myself. The wonderful thing is I know where I came from, and that helps me know where I'm going. I know it's going to be a journey but it is one I await. At the moment I can't get surgery because I am still on Coumadin, but as soooooooooon as they say I am free of this medication you can betcha bottom dollar that I will be pleading to get on a surgeon's table..lol....Until then I will bid my time and continue to read all the great inspiration I get daily from everyone's profile, because shoot. I WANT MY BEFORE AND AFTER!!!! You guys look so beautiful and so wonderful, I do not envy you I applaud you and say to myself how awesome that is. I bet they are living life, and staying away from that thing that was a crutch for so long: THE COMPUTER...HAAHAHa...I love that everyone is out there amongst the living. I can't wait to get there, I know I will with each day that passes I'm getting slowly but surely there, even if I have to get their mentally first that is truly indeed a wonderful start!!!