Wow, I can't believe it will be one month ago (well just about) that I had my VSG! It's been a roller coaster for sure. One minute I'm excited that the scale seems to be magically moving down and the next I'm grouchy and weepy and can't believe I've done this to myself. It has helped that I've been able to eat and drink a bit more easily in the past few days.

I am still nowhere near where i should be with protein even though I am meticulous about what I am choosing to eat. It seems I can't get past about 20 g per day and about 300 calories. So tomorrow I am going to go back to supplementing for a while. I ordered some Chike and so far it's very drinkable and if you mix it with milk it's 40 g of protein. I just need to get the protein in so I can have some energy and keep up with my life. Fluids are hard to but I am getting 30-40 oz in a day so it's not too bad.

People are beginning to notice my weight loss (27 lbs since surgery!). Today I met for a playdate with some moms from school and they were shocked. Kind of a nice reaction but I was a bit embarrassed by the attention.

So all in all life is good but I think I need a while longer before I can say I LOVE my sleeve but I have to admit - it's growing on me!

Yippee, just found my SIL on the board and boy does she look incredible. I'm so proud of you Anita! Can't wait to join you for some SHOPPING! Might have to get a second job, but Anthropologie, here we come...

Okay, I am officially scared to death. Yes, I am scared about the surgery, but not nearly as much as I am about changing myself forever. I have been overweight or obese since I was a child and I don't have a clue what life will be like as a normal weight person, let alone how I will cope without my addiction. I am going to find a therapist this week if possible since I know I will need help. Don't get me wrong - It's exciting and exhilerating too. Just scary as hell.

I think I'm in shock because I haven't started to really worry yet. Well, maybe partly due to the fact that my whole family (me included) has had the stomach flu for 10 days now! NOT exactly how I pictured losing another 4 pounds! I'm sure they will come right back, though, since it's mostly water loss.

I think I'm in a healthy state of denial right now although every once in a while I get a little panicky at the thought of not being able to eat normally, gulp drinks or have soda. I don't really even like soda, though, so I know it's irrational thinking. I just saw my neighbor who had her VSG through the same surgeon on 5/19/08 and she's already down over 20 pounds and looks great! That gives me hope and makes me more excited than panicked. The countdown starts now: 15 days left!!!!

Wow, I am just dazed. Went to the surgeon's support group tonight and met some lovely OH members as well as locals. The nurse told me that I do not need a psych eval after all since I am a self pay patient. I am so happy to hear that since paying for this surgery means dipping into our retirement money which there is precious little of. It would have been over $600 which I am still having a hard time believing. Shoulda got that psych degree after all!

Anyways, the nurse also said they were ready to schedule a date and she would call me tomorrow morning to do so. OMG OMG OMG! I am so excited and terrified! Is this the right decision? I know in my heart it is but there's nothing like getting what you wished for to totally FREAK you out! On the way out tonight one of the other patients stopped me and said that she thought I would for sure end up on the cover of OH magazine one day because I am so beautiful even at this weight - it was so sweet it made me want to cry, especially since I FEEL ANYTHING BUT! Guess I need to work on taking compliments.

More tomorrow...