be healthy and active so that I can enjoy life with my daughters and my husband.

I haven't always been obese.  As a matter of fact, I spent most of my life believing I was fat and needed to lose weight when indeed I was not, but you know what they say about hindsight.  When I was 22 I became pregnant with my daughter Lindsay, who'll soon be 9.  During my pregnancy I began to have a lot of back trouble and was taken out of work at 6 mos, I proceded to gain 80 lbs.  After I had her, I managed to lose almost all of it.  Then in 2002 I became pregnant with my daughter Haley who just turned 4.  My back problems immediately returned, and I was taken out of work at 3 mos, although I took control of my eating since I couldn't excercise and managed to only gain 60lbs this time.  After I had Haley I did pretty well at losing weight (not as well as I'd liked) but I was doing ok.  Then I began to have a lot of back problems and was soon diagnosed with a bulging disc (among other problems).  I was treated for my disc with steroid injections by epidural, which of course thwarted my weight loss attempts.  I could lose about 15 or 20lbs and then my back would go out and I'd have to have another injection and the nasty cycle would start all over again.  Until now I weigh over 250lbs.  for the last couple of years I've been able to live with the mildly comforting thought that while I was heavy, I wasn't big enough to be considered for the bypass surgery, but that is no longer the case.  so about a month ago I went to the seminar at Dr Bour's office and am now convinced that this surgery may be my only way out.  I would do anything to be myself again.  I haven't really felt like me in over 3 years.  I don't know how to be this person, I don't know how to be fat.