It was great to finally meet my surgeon.  I almost cancelled the appointment but remembered what they said about people who keep cancelling, etc, that they take those as not being very serious.  The drive is about 1 1/2 hrs away for me and I just hate that long ride by myself but thank God my sister came with me. 

The surgeon was extremely nice.  He said I need to get my diabetes numbers under control and lose 10 lbs and I am ready for surgery! It's all so in close range now.  I have lost 20 lbs since this journey started but I find myself being very hungry or just head hungry lately and eating all these things I know I shouldn't.  I haven't gained any weight back but I know I have to start doing the pre-op meal plan soon, those 10 lbs won't take long to come off but my blood sugar levels will definitely be a challenge, they are checking my A1C again in mid December, but if I have a decent number and 10 lbs down, I could be looking at surgery as soon as January.

This is so exciting, scary, and all kinds of other thinkgs I am feeling right now. I just know I am tired of being fat and tired of being tired all the time.  I want my life back and with all this weight I am certainly not going to get far.

Keep me in prayers! I need it because I know this is what is going to be best for me.

Well, I have my first appointment with the surgeon, the first orientation meeting.  That is going to take place on October 12, 2010.  I guess they will be weighing me and doing everything else as far as letting me know what I need to do before the surgery date.  I have been scared off and on about the surgery, can I do it myself, did I try everything I could to lose the weight on my own.  It's such a permanent thing but over all it falls back to the same thing, I was not able to do this on my own for many years and now my health is so bad, all the blood levels are up, cholesterol is high, blood sugar is high, blood pressure is up.  I am only 37 years old and my health is so bad.

Well I will post more after my appointment next week.  This is such a hard decision and I don't want to take it lightly.  My friend who did the surgery in April lost 100 lbs already but she was well over 300 so now she is at 250 and kind of at a stand still, I dont want that to happen.  I spoke to a lady at curves and she said most people find ways to cheat the surgery by eating things they shouldn't etc, and that most gain it all back by stretching out their stomachs again.

I am beliving by faith this will be the tool to help me get on my way to a healthy me, I don't care about looking good by being thinner I care about my life and getting my health under control.

We met with Kaiser's Nutritionist and a Doctor describing the surgeries available at Kaiser, I have been in 2 other seminars already so I already knew what they were talking about.  It seems each time I hear the potential risks, it still scares me.  I keep thinking I can do this on my own but always come back to the realization that I cannot.  I have tried for the last 11 years and have not been able to get this weight off.

I can tell my mom is a bit scared, she is 63 so she is right there at the age where they may tell her no but she is still scared of possible side affects or complications.  I don't blame her, I would be at that age also.  I am scared at my age and I am 37.  But I keep feeling like time is running out so I need to do this.  I asked my doctor to set me up with a weight loss program through the physical therapy department, she said someone should be calling me regarding this but I never got a call.  I am going to have to track down this department person so I can set up some appointments.  Besides all that I am having health problems, which always brings me back to my weight and how I would just be better off doing the surgery.

I am so thankful Kaiser offers the Sleeve but too bad they don't do the procedure at their facility where I live, I will have to travel an hour away for appointments.  But whatever it takes.  I am down from 282.5 to 265 so that is something :)

Well, my mother and I have our Pre-Surgery meeting with a doctor at Kaiser on September 2, 2010.  This should be interested.  I haven't been eating the greatest but due to other stress related events I have lost 14 lbs.  I went from 282.5 to 268.5.  That was a positive thing.  Once I go to that meeting I will find out how much more they will require me to lose.  Seems everything revolves around weight.   I hate being this way and wish I wasn't but soon enough that will be behind me.  Had my character attacked and weight by a disgruntled member who got fired, her family made some type of reference to us being fat indian women and were jelous of her because she was thin and beautiful.  That hurt.  I hate this kind of stuff, I am already self conscious as it is and then you have people talking about your weight.  Just because I am overweight doesn't mean I am jelous of every skinny woman.  I dont want to be skinny, I want to be healthy and that is what this is all about.  I can't wait to be on that healthy path to a healthy weight.