ObesityHelp

Yup. You read it right. No tumor. The CAT scans and the MRIs came up pretty much normal. So, I am happy there is no tumor, but at the same time I'm kind of disappointed because we have no concrete results. I can't get the relief I need, as of yet, anyway. Next I'm headed to the cardiologist to check my cardiovascular system and see if there is any type of blockage or something else. 
Nothing new other than that. Surgery date is getting closer. It still hasn't hit me, though. I guess I'll just wait on that. 

By the way, this is my first time "blogging" ever. And I never even kept a journal, so this is still a little foreign to me. Maybe I'll open up a little more as time goes by. I think the problem is that for so long I internalized all my feelings and pain that come with being MO, as you all know well. Throughout my childhood, there was so much shame that came with being obese, so naturally I never felt comfortable discussing it with anyone else. And what added even more fuel to the fire, I didn't have any other obese person in my life who could relate to what I was going through, so I never found any understanding or compassion. So, bear with me.

Just in case anyone cared, Shanti came back....to eat.

I had one CAT scan last week, as well as an ultrasound of the carotid artery, and a hearing test. Turns out I am a little deaf in my right ear, but we're not sure if it is because of the tinnitis or the trauma I went through in the war. 
I have another CAT scan tomorrow, as well as two MRAs the day after. I can't wait to find out. 
For some reason, I have a good feeling about this. I'm nervous, but not as nervous as you'd think one would be with a possibility of having a tumor in their head... 
Hopefully, I'll know the test results early next week. 
I'm on spring break this week. Not doing anything special, just working full time. Trying to keep busy...
By the way, the reason I'm still up is Shanti, my cat. He got out of the house. He hasn't really been out before; maybe once or twice. And he's just under a year old, so he's still a baby. Our house is VERY close to a main road, and I'm scared. I think he's hanging around the house, though. I took Nina, my dog, out a few times since he's been out, and he plays with her, but then runs away when I approach him. At one point I got mad and wanted to just leave him out the whole night, but that passed in like 2 min. Now I'm waiting on him. He's such a toublemaker.

Today I went to see an otolaryngologist (specialist for ear, nose and throat) regaring my pulsating tinnitus. I can hear my heart beating in my right ear, and it's like a swooshing sound. It's there all the time. Sometimes it is quiet and sometimes it's so loud I can't go to sleep or concentrate in class. He sent me to have an MRI and CAT scan, because  it's probably some sort of growth or tumor that is putting pressure on my carotid artery that runs close to the ear drum. 
I'm pretty worried, I guess.  I hope it's nothing serious enough to put my RNY on hold. Is it even right that i'm worying about the WLS? I just want this WLS so bad, and would hate to have to postpone it. 
I'm having the scans done next week, so wish me luck.

I changed my surgery date to May 8th. It works better for me because my current semester will be over at the end of April, and my summer semester begins June 1st. This way I will have more time to recover.
My sister will be traveling with me to Mexico. I am actualy looking forward to it, and am not very nervous at all. Just anxious. 
Yup, it's definitely happening....to ME!!!