1. The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

2. A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

3. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

4. It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.

5. There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.

6. And remember that behind every successful woman......is a basket of dirty laundry.

7. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

8. Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.

9.. Biological possibility and desire are not the same as biological need. Women have childbearing equipment. For them to choose not to use the equipment is no more blocking what is instinctive than it is for a man who, muscles or no, chooses not to be a weightlifter.

10. Men are what their mothers made them.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOMS

Terri B

Thanksgiving Tips

o    Don’t forgo your exercise. That said, nobody wants to (or has time to) hit the gym on Thanksgiving Day. Instead, invite your guests to a walk before the meal and another walk before dessert is served. It will keep the dogs calmer, the kids a bit less bouncy and everyone with a healthy appetite.

o    Even though you may be up early cooking or doing some last minute tiding up, have breakfast. A protein shake is a good option, since you can easily whip one up and continue with your busy schedule. The protein shake will also keep you feeling satisfied, so you will be less tempted to graze on all the goodies before the Thanksgiving meal.

o    If this is your first Thanksgiving after the Lap-Band, Gastric Bypass or Sleeve Gastrectomy, consider serving yourself a little less than what you think you will eat. When socializing and focusing on the guests, you may not realize how much you have eaten and feel very uncomfortable. Serving yourself less will help you avoid this problem. Plus, this gives you opportunity to reach for seconds if you choose to do so.

o    Be realistic. Thanksgiving is not about worrying about how much protein you had and how many calories are in the mashed potatoes. Just try to stick to this simple rule: have some protein first. Reach for the juicier dark meat turkey first and add some gravy, if you wish. Enjoy the food and savor the wonderful smells and flavors.

o    Go easy on the wine and cocktails. Some patients, especially during the rapid weight loss phase, have a much lower tolerance to alcohol. A little can go a long way. Also a word of caution: Gastric Bypass patients could experience dumping syndrome from alcohol, especially when drinking hard liquors that are mixed in the cocktails.

o    Focus on your family and friends. Ultimately, that is what thanksgiving is all about. Enjoy the holiday and the time that you can share with your loved ones.

Weight loss surgery is a serious undertaking. Before making a decision, talk to your doctor about the following benefits and risks.

Benefits

• Weight loss: Immediately following surgery, most patients lose weight rapidly and continue to do so until 18 to 24 months after the procedure. Although most patients then start to regain some of their lost weight, few regain it all.
• Obesity-related conditions improve: For example, in one study, blood sugar levels of most obese patients with diabetes returned to normal after surgery. Nearly all patients whose blood sugar levels did not return to normal were older or had diabetes for a long time.

Risks and Side Effects

• Vomiting: This is a common risk of restrictive surgery caused by the small stomach being overly stretched by food particles that have not been chewed well.
• "Dumping syndrome:" Caused by malabsorptive surgery, this is when stomach contents move too rapidly through the small intestine. Symptoms include nausea, weakness, sweating, faintness and, occasionally, diarrhea after eating, as well as the inability to eat sweets without becoming extremely weak.
• Nutritional deficiencies: Patients who have weight loss surgery may develop nutritional deficiencies such as anemia, osteoporosis, and metabolic bone disease. These deficiencies can be avoided if vitamin and mineral intakes are maintained.
• Complications: Some patients who have weight loss operations require follow-up operations to correct complications. Complications can include abdominal hernias, infections, breakdown of the staple line (used to make the stomach smaller), and stretched stomach outlets (when the stomach returns to its normal size).
• Gallstones: More than one-third of obese patients who have gastric surgery develop gallstones. Gallstones are clumps of cholesterol and other matter that form in the gallbladder. During rapid or substantial weight loss a person's risk of developing gallstones increases. Sometimes this can be prevented by taking supplemental bile salts for the first six months after surgery.
• Need to temporarily avoid pregnancy: Women of childbearing age should avoid pregnancy until their weight becomes stable because rapid weight loss and nutritional deficiencies can harm a developing fetus.
• Side effects: These include nausea, vomiting, bloating, diarrhea, excessive sweating, increased gas, and dizziness.
• Lifestyle changes: Patients with extensive bypasses of the normal digestive process require not only close monitoring, but also life-long diet and exercise modifications and vitamin and mineral supplementation.

I used to be embarrassed to take a plane or to go out in public. It was difficult to get behind the steering wheel. My lifestyle was very stifling. The consequences of my obesity, and the depression and social isolation it caused, made the risk of the surgery far more acceptable since I had been unsuccessful with every diet imaginable.

As a post-op, there is a definite change in the way I relate to others. I find it much easier to be friendly to strangers and strike up a conversation. That's really no surprise since I feel much more confident.

When I weighed 314 pounds I felt invisible. I now find that I am treated differently in public. Male cashiers smile at me and are much more talkative than they were before. Men and women alike are more apt to stop and chat with me, whereas in the past, I was lucky to get as much as a "hello".

Prior to surgery it was comfortable staying home most of the time watching T.V., being on my computer, or going to a favorite restaurant with friends. Once I reached my goal weight, I found I had much more energy and wanted to do other things. My idea of fun changed significantly. Before surgery, walking or dancing would leave me breathing heavily and exhausted in a matter of minutes. Now I wanted to try activities I was unable to do prior to surgery. Suddenly I found that my friends and spouse did not have much in common with me anymore due to the fact that they were still living a sedentary lifestyle.

Losing a spouse over the surgery can happen. My weight loss changed the dynamics in my relationship. Obesity made me self-conscious and left me with no self-esteem. As that changed, the social dynamics changed. As a teenager I did not date. I knew I didn't qualify because I was fat. I simply accepted the fact that I was fat, unworthy, and ugly because I weighed more than girls my age. We would like to think our society has evolved beyond the superficial, that we will be loved for who we are inside. Do you remember your mother saying, "Pretty on the inside is what counts." I heard that often and confirmed what I already knew; I wasn't one of the pretty people.

I knew the WLS would change my life and it certainly has. Some people have lost weight only to discover they were blaming the wrong thing for trouble in the relationship. I can see now that I had really been doing the hard emotional part for a long time. I married a wonderful man who accepted me as I was, however it was me that "settled". I had to face the realization that for many years my spouse actually was more like a brother or close friend rather than a husband. I am thankful that we are still and always will be each other's best friend.

In attending the seminars about WLS, we are told that friends and family may not know how to react after surgery. We are the center of attention during recovery. I lost a very good friend that became jealous of my new energy and appearance. I had to deal with this jealousy and decided any friends who bailed, were not true friends to begin with.

The way we think of ourselves changes drastically after weight loss surgery and therefore, others will also have a different impression of you. Prior to surgery, our size weighs down more than just our body. Depression is common in overweight individuals. After surgery and making it through recovery, depression for some may no longer be a problem. There is a whole new world waiting for us and we are ready to embrace it. This is wonderful, however make sure you pay attention to the relationships you had prior to surgery and nurture them.

You will change, there is no doubt, and family and friends may not like these changes. They will mourn for the person you were prior to surgery. Maybe you've become more outgoing or outspoken and your lifestyle has changed. You need to keep this in mind if you want to keep those old friends. Try to be considerate of their wishes and needs. If they want to watch a movie at home, go ahead and do it once in awhile. If they want to go to a favorite restaurant and get a meal they used to get before the surgery, go and order an appetizer to nibble on. Try to introduce different and new activities to your friends slowly, until they get used to the fact you do have a different lifestyle.

You will undoubtedly receive a lot of attention and compliments once you reach your optimum weight. Try to move the conversation to other topics, not always talking about your surgery. This may alleviate any jealousy that may crop up with old time friends. Friends and relatives may not want to constantly hear about it – they lived it with you. Also remember that you may attract new people with the "new you". If you want to keep your old friends, you need to try and stay in touch with them. Most of all stay positive.

Try and use common sense and sensitivity with your friends, family, and partner. Hopefully, they will offer the same in return and embrace the changes you have made in your new healthy life.

Personal acceptance is what has taken the longest and the hardest to find. Everybody learns their lessons in their own time. The only thing certain is that your whole life can change in the blink of an eye no matter how prepared you are for it. Every day I continue to become accustomed to the changes in my life and search for my place in the world for the "t;new me"t;.

In conclusion, most bariatric patients need a lot of support after surgery. Relationship changes can have a rough psychological impact. This is another reason why support groups are helpful. If friends, family and co-workers are having a hard time being supportive, bariatric patients can find peers from which to gain additional support. Studies have indicated that patients who participate actively in a support group have better outcomes than those who do not.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts". – Winston Churchill