I am in need of a check up - from the neck up - I am out of control. Mac & cheese, chocolate left & right, chips of all kinds - sweet tea 24 -7. I now drink after I eat to get rid of the full feeling cause emotionally & visually I want to fill the void of too much STRESS in my life!

I scheduled an appointment with my Dr. for Thursday. I hope I have not done any damage to myself or my band. I am being 100% transparent & it feels like a burden I can just thrust onto a page & put the UGLY truth in writing. It hurts that stupid lack of self discipline on my part can make my self worth be so effected. Food / bad choices shouldn't have that kind of control over the way I feel but it dose. It really makes me mad that it has been 2 years & I keep falling back on the same old couping mechanism's that put me in need of the Lap-Band to begin with. On a positive note for mothers day I bought a elliptical machine - I should get it in 2 weeks. I will conquer the bad habits. I have a plan & i will win this battle of stress relief transfer.

one day weight won't be an issue - heehee.