Find the skinny, healthy me hiding inside this huge body!

Well, surgery went off without a hitch on Wednesday the 9th.  I spent two nights in the hospital and was home by 11am on Friday.  Might I just say that I've been a nurse for 25yrs and have always worked in the hospital enviornment.  BUT I NEVER WANT TO BE A PATIENT AGAIN!!!  I had a complete meltdown on post-op day 1.  My biox was only 92%, my BP was low, I could hardly keep my eyes open (still the effects of anesthesia or pain med?)  And I was beginning to think that I had made a HUGE mistake.  Why have I done this to myself?  My friend who had been staying with me had to leave for awhile.  In the meantime, my 19y/o son was with me.  He had no idea what to do to help me.  I kept crying and crying.  My friend called to check on me, she found me so upset that she called another friend who works for my surgeon, and she asked him to come back and see me, which he did.  He was so reassuring and kind.  But even now, 5 days post-op, I'm really scared that I've made a huge mistake and can never go back.  I'm on full liquids and am having difficulty finding a protein source that is palatable without causing diarrhea.  I can't stand Isopure anymore.  That sickening sweet taste and white film it leaves on my tongue makes me gag.  Everyone keeps telling me that all of this will be worth it very soon; when I start seeing the weight fall off.  But...  was it really the right thing to do?  I guess I'll just have to wait and see.  I go for my one week follow-up appt tomorrow and I'm praying that the dietician will advance me to pureed foods.  I can't imagine another time in my life that I've EVER wished for pureed foods!!!  I just hope I can work my way out of the blues.

I've been working so hard on this "liver reduction" diet.  At my last appt on 6/2, I was down 13.7 pounds.  YAY!!  Dr. Mattar ordered all of my pre-op tests and I have a surgery date already; July 9th.  I received an approval letter from Anthem on 6/10!  That seemed really fast; just 8 days after my appt.   I underwent a sleep study on 6/11.  That was interesting, to say the least.  The only other things I have left to do are my pre-op class on 6/24, and my pre-op testing and eval by the hospitalist on 6/26.  Wow!  There's so much to do.

Two of my best friends are taking time off work to be with me when I have surgery.  One of them underwent RNY nearly two years ago and she has done great!  I'm lucky to have her support.  

While all of this is exciting, I'm getting REALLY tired of this diet and I'm frankly bored with it.  I LOVE carbs but cannot eat them right now.  It's getting really hard to stay compliant with the diet plan.  The only thing that's keeping me on track is knowing my surgery date is less than 4 weeks away.  I have a target in sight.  It will be good to add a wider variety of foods post-op... when I'm able to.  I'm looking forward to yogurt!!