Since my last post have been able to average more than 1200 calories a day.  While that is still not enough to maintain a healthy weight, I am perfectly satisfied with that amount right now.  I think I'm about 10 lbs. or so from the weight I want to be. Could be more could be less ??

I was so worried and stressed out when consumption was 1000 calories per day but with just 200 calories more, all is good, 200 calories has changed my perception.  I know I'll have to eat more later but I can worry about that when the time comes.

My body is telling me things that I've never heard before.  I suspect my body has always told me things, I just didn't know how to listen.  One night last week after working all day and not taking time to eat properly, I realized that I only ate 700 calories that day so I chose to make up the difference with potato chips.  They were tasty and went down easily...too easily.  The next morning I was a sick puppy.  I was run down, thirsty, tired, a little dehydrated, etc., it was not a good morning.  Well, it was the potato chips, my body told me!  I won't be doing THAT again.

Figuring out how to eat to live has been a chore.  I don't seem to be progressing the same way as other people and I have not had contact with anyone who shares my challenges.  I can't be the only one who has these difficulties!  At a bariatric meeting last week I spoke breifly to a bypass patient.  She asked me in a bit of a snide manner if the weight loss had been easy for me.  I replied that I was having difficulty now getting enough food.  I could feel the wall go up, she didn't have two words for me after that...Some People!!

Today, for the first time in my life, I feel thin.  I have not always been fat but I always BELIEVED that I was fat because that's what I was told.  This new feeling is a little weird for me but I'm sure I'll get used to it...

It has been just over 6 months since surgery and I am having mixed emotions about what is happening to me.  On one hand I am thrilled that I am still losing weight but I am so close to goal that I am concerned about losing this fast.  I don't want to be underweight, that's for sure.  How will I stop losing?

I've lost 85 lbs. since surgery and 112 total.  I chose 164 as a goal because I am a large person and 164 is the highest weight for a normal BMI at my height.  That would be 164 with clothes on for me because the 'official' scale is at Dr. Aldridge's office and no matter how much better I look now then I did 112 lbs ago I'm still not prone to gettin' nekkid at Dr. A's office.  I'm 6 lbs. from that goal but It's possile that I have as much as 10 or 15 lbs. to lose,  I truely don't know.

My concern is that I only eat about 1000 calories a day, somethimes more, usually less and I am still losing about 2 lbs a week.  I think that is too much at this stage.  I eat as much food as I can so I'll have to start supplements to try to make up the difference.  A friend told me about a Mass XXX, a supplement that contains 50g of protein and 740 calories per 16 oz.  It can be mixed with water or milk for more calories.  I'll get some at GNC and give it a try.  I can't drink 16 ounces at once but I can drink 8 oz if I go slowly.  It might be just the thing I need.

I log everything I eat and all of my exercise at fitday.com and I am pleased to have that resource. 

Since last August I've been seeing a psycologist and that has been a source of comfort and pain, but mostly comfort.  He's the right therapist for me and he has helped me tremendously in adjusting to 'the real me'.   I would not have been as successful in this endeavor without his guidance.  I'm not talking about the weight loss, that would have happened regardless with this surgery, I'm talking about the mental adjustment, and we're not done yet.

Even with the issues I face now, I am so glad to have had this surgery.  I am happy to become reacquainted with the real me. 

I'm still losing weight regularly, about 2 lbs a week.  Sometimes more, sometimes less. Fortunately I have not had a stall yet. PROTEIN!

I haven't lost any hair and at this point I don't think it will happen, I'm nearly 5 months post-op.  PROTEIN!

I've been hiking a bit which I love (yes LOVE!) and it's time for me to find new harder trails to hike.  I've had an interest in backpacking for years and my hiking guru has rekindled my interest in the sport. I'm looking forward to long hikes, overnighters and spending more time outdoors.

Somedays I feel that I eat too much but most days I clearly don't eat enough.  A friend who knows about the surgery and how little I eat asked me how I will stop losing when I get to the weight that I want to be.  I replied that's a good question but I don't know the answer.  She seemed really concerned but I told her that I would rather have a hard time keeping weight on than trying to keep it off because I've already failed at keeping it off.

I can't eat bread at all.  I know that other VSGers can eat bread but not me.  I tried to eat chicken and dumplings the other night but after a small bite of dumpling I was so uncomfortably full I had to go for a walk to try to minimize the pain.  I wasn't all that fond of bread before surgery so it isn't a huge loss but I do miss it a little.  Giving up bread and bread products is acceptable to me, it's better than the alternative! 

It brings tears to my eyes to think of what I would be now if I had not had THIS surgery (not the lapband).  My life has been saved.  The happiness and joy I have now can only be attributed to two special human beings, Dr. Aldridge and Dr. Langsdorf...oh yeah and me.

Yes, this IS the best thing I have ever done for myself.